Hi Michiel,

Great! Thank you for letting me know.

Wishing you all the best,
Alex

Hi Amnon,

Thank you.
Wishing you a relaxing time off.

Regards
Alex

Hi,

Sorry for the long break. Have been pretty busy...
How are you? Are you feeling any better?

How about we have a bit of a break in our discussion.
Maybe until early next year...
Might be good to let things flow and observe without pressure, just enjoying the festive time of the year.

Alex

Yes, it seemingly takes time to unlearn, to see through beliefs and for behavioural patterns to change.
This will never stop. Change will always be on the surface, just like waves are on the ocean.
They can be distracting, I agree. But the more you look the more you will see the water underneath ...

How is the flu going? I hope you are feeling better by now.

In fact, there's an experience of an I feeling quite miserable as this is being written, an experience of gasping for air once in a while due to congestion, and no comfort in knowing none of this is happening to me or that this "me" is a ...

Then again, there's "no one home" there to register or know the sensations either, as thought is necessary for that - there can be no separate perceiver without it.
Really? Do you find that thought is required to register sensations? I would agree that it is required to interpret them, but the ...

The funny thing is that I think I'm starting to slowly (very slowly) accept that's it's ok if I never understand it, since this "I" is made up anyway :-)
Yes, true... There can be a certain understanding present, but there is no owner of it... It doesn't belong to a "you", just like the sound of ...

Hi MoonChild,

Yes, this is a good sign. Follow this curiosity and explore. There is so much more to see when one is open and aware compared to the narrow focussed existence one has been living so far. Sure, this contraction will happen again and again, but simply being aware of it will either ...

while it's difficult enough to agree with something that goes against conditioning, it seems impossible to agree with something that goes against natural instincts, such as physical discomfort or a feeling of danger. It's in these situations when the "self" belief is really tested, and in my case ...

Hi MoonChild,

Good stuff! You are seeing this very clearly now!

Yes, the knowing is the same and only the interpretations differ. Suffering is an interpretation, not the knowing itself. So is really everything that is seemingly derived from direct experience. Anger, frustration, aversion, desire ...

Hi MoonChild,

knowing is automatic, it happens with no effort, and if there's an underlying process by which knowing happens, it's not obvious to me. It just happens.
Yes, it simply happens. Perfectly automatic and without effort.

Awareness knows sadness & suffering, but awareness itself is not ...

Hi MoonChild,

Objects, people/processes don't know/relate to awareness itself.
Do "people" know anything? How does a person know? Can you find and describe the entity that knows? Can it be found?
Or is it really always only awareness that knows..?
...and from here we can look also at perception ...

Hi MoonChild,

Yes, in really contemplating this more, everything in the dream is made of awareness, including the dream character and everything else. How would the dream character know see or feel anything if it's made of awareness? Wouldn't the awareness know the dream character and not the ...

The interpretations are what enable feeling like a separate someone.
At least this is what we believe is happening... but do you really ever truly experience a feeling of being "someone"?
Please sit down and try to find such a sensation. Really feel it. Now please describe what it is like. Where ...

Hi Michiel,

The trigger that seems to make reactivity necessary is almost everytime some kind of dissapointment that these feelings (mostly some form of helplesness) still occur
Can you please try to zoom in on this "disappointment". Try to see how it triggers a reaction. Can it really do that ...