Thank you Elad.

I'll be working with a guide who is also on the spectrum, which will hopefully make the process a bit easier for me :)

I'll be back once I'm through for the final questions, or before that if I'm ready for a second round with you.

Have a nice day

Hi Elad,

Thank you for your message and the journey we've embarked on together. I'm writing with a sense of excitement for the growth I've experienced and gratitude for your role in it. Yet, I also feel a frustration stemming from our communication challenges, which seems emblematic of the broader ...

Oh jeah, another thing I noticed was a general sense of peace with the idea of not having choice or agency throughout the day. Like doing the same thing I did with the "self", that I also had trouble confirming thanks to my brain & doubt. I ask myself what if it was true, throughout the day. Ok so I ...

Right! The process is happening and will continue to flow with its own rythm and own curves.

So if I ask you to answer me short and succinct:

Is there a separate self?

I don't know. Not in a way that matters. There's thoughts about a separate self which turn into a vague feeling of a separate ...

Thanks for the update.

It sounds to me when you describe the phenomena in experience, you are describe what is just experientially unfolding, thoughts and sensations.

Is any of it a separate you?


Ok so what's happening is that there's significantly more acceptance for what is going on... At ...

Little update:

Lots of storms, especially around me in my immediate circles of friends, lovers,...

Ruminating has gotten less, emotions are still going up and down and round and round.

Some smaller parts are still hanging on by their fingernails (being special, agency, thinker). Some long ...

Ok I tried labelling but it went the wrong direction and made it even harder for me to observe the thoughts.

I decided to go back to the twim practice that I'm using intuitively and focusing on the sensations that are underlying the thoughts but instead of using it to dissolve the thoughts i came ...

I know you have practiced things like this before. Please do it as freshly and sincerly as possible anyhow:


Finding the Gap


This exercise has a dual purpose. Firstly, to become aware of each and every though as they appear. Secondly, the careful looking for the gap is an example of how ...

Got it. Yes I am aiming to see where you are at as clear as I can. So what is seen, is there a self, is there agency? Or are they only thoughts?


Ok not sure if that answers your questions. It came out as another status update for some reason:

There is no self, there are A LOT of thoughts and ...

I wasn't trying to be smart or solving with the intellect. Watching the video i happened to write down the quotes where something resonated and then commenting on it. I did it very quickly so no effort on being understood this time.

There is a lot a lot of emotional material coming up in the ...

Ohh, I get it. You refer to me listing quotes from the video you shared under A and B?

I was trying to respond to the video in a way to help you gauge where we're at in the process. I assumed you were still assessing what is not seen or how to continue guiding because you shared the video after ...

Ps: I'm not a guy ;)

What do you refer to when you say "side effects"? Like specifically from this conversation?

Good clarity with the questions. Re expectations, let's see if we can get more clarity.

Try for the next day to go back to believing in a separate self and in agency. After one day write me what has been seen.
I mean this seems obvious to me there is nothing I can do to change my belief in the ...

"Looking at the experience of what the "I" is. Taking an honest look. Not about thoughts. Not about quiet time. Can happen anytime. Nothing that needs to happen."

Understood

"Let go of all beliefs. Not something learned. Something to see."

Yes

"The knowing that you have truly seen through "self ...