Hi Kevin,
Hows it going?

Would you be interested in joing a zoom call next week ina group setting? We can talk more directly which may be helpful if you are comfortable with that?

My mentor will be present too, the meeting is organised by her.
It's next Monday 10 Feb at 19:30 GMT, I think the time ...

Hey Kevin.

I'm pleased you are able to check in with this fear and get clearer on what is about. It's ok to feel it. It's innocent really.


the desire to accomplish/achieve what "I set out to do." The fear is like a warning that I "might be wrong" and will face disappointment, if that's the case ...

Hi Kevin, thanks for your replies.
Clearly you have been looking very deeply into this. And it's good to get it out as you say. It definitely sounds like something is happening here!


no big lightning strikes or profound blissful experience or anything


I'd be surprised if it was anything like ...

Hi Kevin,

I'd written a long response to all your questions,
But I'm not going to post that, maybe it will come in helpful another time but I want to keep this response more focused.


It's annoying to me not because of the sensation, but because I wish I knew why it was happening


I get that ...

Hi Kevin, sorry for the slower responses, I'll try and keep this more regular. I appreciate your patience.


Am I too tough a nut to crack? The long delays in guidance have made it hard to keep up the focus,


No, I think you are doing very well Kevin. I know that may sound weird but it's true, I ...

Hi Kevin,
Happy new year!

Man, I really feel your frustration here.
I hope you can find some time to relax a bit.
It will help a lot with the inquiry, and 'looking'.


I have such a hard time with differentiating "looking" from "thinking" in this process. The closest I think I've come is when I ...

Hi Kevin,
Happy Christmas / holidays :)
Hope you are well.


Help me with what "looking" is, when it comes to the inquiry...because I'm getting hung up on that and it just devolves into thoughts on top of thoughts.


Do you remember the pointer we started with with the coloured socks? The ...

Hi Kevin,
Hope you are doing well.


Actually, it just dawned on me as I was typing an answer that awareness might be a new label that just got applied to everything. Crap.


Could be, yes, that this idea of self has now become an imaginary 'thing' called awareness, but your answers are generally ...

Hi Kevin.

First of all I just want to say that I think you are doing really well with this inquiry, even though it may not seem like it at times.

I had written a response to your previous message but didn't post it in time, anyway sounds like something has moved since then which is good.

I hope ...

Hi Kevin,
Thank for your honesty and looking into your expectations.
They are quite important, but also quite reasonable


The descriptions people give of the effect that the realization of no-self has on them lead me to believe that there is something fundamentally missing here.


This is ...

Hang in there Kevin :)


Same, still on the merry go round. Looking but not finding anything but thoughts, feelings, beliefs, all being packaged up as an entity and referred back to as if it's what I am. The identification still happens, efforts are being made to catch it when it happens and look ...

Hi Kevin,

How's it going?

I think you are being more than diligent with the inquiry.
It doesn't matter if you miss an opportunity - its only a reminder to take a look NOW. Don't worry about HOW to look, looking is happening, already. You can just relax into that. Curiousity may arise naturally ...

Hi Kevin,

Sorry again for the slow response, work has been very busy recently,
I'm going to try and make more of an effort to reply daily.


Something appears to make a choice whether to interact with them, believe in them, trust them, and allow them to influence behavior or further thoughts ...

Hi Kevin.


And that means the looking is just thoughts


Can a thought see?
What can thoughts actually do?


As for whether I can stop it, it does SEEM like it. It feels like I stop thoughts I don't like all the time, usually with other thoughts like just a mental "no." This is what makes it ...

Hi Kevin.

Thanks for your patience with my slower responses recently.

Yeah it's frustrating as hell, I can remember being there.
There was a clear understanding, and overtly, it wasn't really believable, but apparently some unconscious belief still remained.

Just keep looking, this is what does ...