Hi Jon

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Understanding that there is nothing to be afraid of. The fear of facing things is greater than actually facing them. And that there is actually no fear at all, that my behavior can be arising spontaneously at each given moment and ...

Hi Jon

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, there isn't and there has never been 'one' when exploring the direct experience. It is a conditioning of our society.

2)Please explain in detail what the illusion of separate ...

Hi Jon

I just wanted to check your enthusiasm and now I can see that you want to continue, that's great.
I think it is really wonderful that you have been prepared to look right at this discomfort of 'being me' and even more wonderful that sometimes the sack seems weightless. Not resisting ...

Hi Jon

It may be worth asking the question 'do I want to push on with the investigation or not?'

I have had sort of love or hate relationship with this inquiry. There is still the feeling of unworthiness of being here at the forum,like i haven't done enough pre-work as opposed to other people ...

Hi Jon

It is my impression that though you haven't found 'self' in direct experience you may still believe that there is a 'thinker' that does thinking. Am I correct?

Yes, that still might be the case. The belief in 'thinker' is so strong and embedded that it is not so easily dismantled ...

Hi Jon

Sorry for my sloe response, i have some sort of the flue and have been feeling really rough to post a proper answer.

In a nutshell, thoughts are direct experience, but content of the thoughts is manufactured and may or may not be representative of the experiencing.

When i say- my ...

Hi Jon

Look at your experience and let me know if there is a feeling that 'you' are 'your mind'

That is very interesting question. I don't think i can answer with a definite 'yes' or a 'no'. There are moments when 'mind' is really quiet and when the experience is just sensations of for instance ...

Hi Jon

You are good at looking at immediate experience Agata. So right here and now where is 'mind'?

It can not be found

There can be the idea of mind 'thinking', but what is the actual experience... 'a mind thinking' or simply, thoughts?

The actual experience is simply thoughts.

Like ...

Hi Jon

What do you infer from this?

Maybe that the mind and body are one?

What mind? (There are lots and lots of theories about the origins or functioning of a thing/phenomenon labelled 'mind' that is supposed to be 'there', but is 'a mind' found in experience, any more than 'a self'? Take a ...

Hi Jon

This is a kind of theory. An explanation of what must be going on in mechanical terms of separate entities. 'Mind' and 'Body' are labels that create the appearance of separations. is there an experience of 'a mind' being separate from 'a body'?
I understand that all there is to the ...

Hi Jon

Have you been able to find, a ‘self’ that is the ‘experiencer’?

No, I have not been able to find am 'experiencer'

Or a self that is the doer, or can control what happens?

Same as above, I have not been able to find a 'doer'

Or a self that ‘makes’ decisions?

Have not found ...

Hi Jon

OK, well, in reality, right now and in every moment of looking, is it ever possible to find a 'me' a separate, unchanging entity that constitutes 'Agata'?

If not, the 'getting caught up in thoughts' is its self a thought about an assumed 'someone' that seems to get caught up, isn't it ...

Hi Jon


Is there an idea of having to prevent thoughts from 'slipping through'? And behind this an idea of a 'me' that has to stand guard in some way?

Yes, I do remember those questions and the answer to them was 'no', it is not possible to prevent the thoughts. If I look deeper then there is ...

Hi Jon

Well, there may sometimes be thoughts about 'my pain' or 'it ought not to be happening' that appear alonside sensations of pain. But the emptiness of these thoughts is noticed now, ins't it? Apart from occasions where they can go unnoticed for a while?

Is it clear that the 'self' that ...

Hi Jon
Sorry for not being in touch for so long, I am currently away on holiday until next Tuesday and didn't manage to let you know beforehand.

Hope it's okay and that I can resume next Tuesday.

Love

Agata