Looking for a guide

[Brad]

I cannot find the me. I can't find it because it is just a concept.

Look at the computer in front of you. Where is the actual computer? Can you see the computer in reality/direct experience?
There is a screen in front of you, there is buttons, colours, electricity, there is wires and so on but where is the actual computer? The sum of all these components, is the computer right? Its like if you put all these components together then you get the computer but if you would take away every component in the computer and put them in front of you so you could see them, will you see the computer then? Has there ever been a computer?

When I look at the computer, I see it the same way I see me; the sum of its parts. When deconstructed, it is no longer a computer. So the sum of the parts (the computer) is just another concept created and agreed to by man. There has never been a computer. The name is just that, a name used to communicate the idea of this particular arrangement of parts; the parts themselves being concepts.

I am constructed the same way the computer is. When I separate the body, thoughts, senses, and sense of being I see that I am none of them. However, the sense of being still occurs when these are combined. I am not the sense of being, but I haven't been able to overcome it yet. I cannot find it. It does not arrise as thoughts. It seems more like a feeling that is hidden way down deep somewhere.

[Behzad]

I cannot find the me. I can't find it because it is just a concept.

Nice, could you just take a look in the room and see if you find Superman? If he is not next to you in the room, can Superman maybe be some where else in the world, flying and saving people?

If not,

where is he? Is Superman real, does he really exist?

When I look at the computer, I see it the same way I see me; the sum of its parts. When deconstructed, it is no longer a computer. So the sum of the parts (the computer) is just another concept created and agreed to by man. There has never been a computer. The name is just that, a name used to communicate the idea of this particular arrangement of parts; the parts themselves being concepts.

Beautiful, so if you took away all the components of the computer so its back to small parts, where it once started, then you wouldnt be able to see the computer right? You wouldnt be able to find the computer in the components and seperate it from the components and hold it in youre hand and see it and say "here is the computer", am I right?

I am constructed the same way the computer is. When I separate the body, thoughts, senses, and sense of being I see that I am none of them. However, the sense of being still occurs when these are combined. I am not the sense of being, but I haven't been able to overcome it yet. I cannot find it. It does not arrise as thoughts. It seems more like a feeling that is hidden way down deep somewhere.

Yes, thats right. Its a feeling of being, of existing. Why do you want to overcome it?
The sense of being exist, does it belong to you? Is there a you that owns it? Where is that you then?
Where is the one that wants to overcome the feeling of being? Do you see him in reality?

Maybe he is just a story/thought like superman, look and see what you find?

Remember you said "I want to know this, not believe it. How do I know it"

Knowing this is to look at these questions. Look for the answer. Beliving this is to think about these questions, analyze, compare, think what the right answer might be etc. So just look, thats enough.

So, go on and answer the questions.

[Brad]

Nice, could you just take a look in the room and see if you find Superman? If he is not next to you in the room, can Superman maybe be some where else in the world, flying and saving people?

I can't find Superman in the room and he can't be somewhere else in the world. He is fictional and doesn't really exist.

Beautiful, so if you took away all the components of the computer so its back to small parts, where it once started, then you wouldnt be able to see the computer right? You wouldnt be able to find the computer in the components and seperate it from the components and hold it in youre hand and see it and say "here is the computer", am I right?

You are right.

Yes, thats right. Its a feeling of being, of existing. Why do you want to overcome it?
The sense of being exist, does it belong to you? Is there a you that owns it? Where is that you then?
Where is the one that wants to overcome the feeling of being? Do you see him in reality?

Me wanting to overcome the sense of being/existing is another expectation that I didn't realize I had. I have to let this go. It does not belong to me and there can't be a me who owns it.

I do not see "me" in reality. I was carefully looking at the computer and realized that I was not seeing it out there, but rather, in consciousness. I looked without analyzing at sounds, smells, tastes, sights, sensations, thoughts, the body, and the sense of being. They all arise in consciousness. The thought/belief of "me" also arises in consciousness. It makes complete sense that "I" am a belief arising in consciousness. The problem is that it still occurs as MY consciousness. I know I cannot be consciousness and be looking at consciousness, but this is my experience at the moment.

[Behzad]

I can't find Superman in the room and he can't be somewhere else in the world. He is fictional and doesn't really exist.

Do you see any similarity between superman and you?

Me wanting to overcome the sense of being/existing is another expectation that I didn't realize I had. I have to let this go. It does not belong to me and there can't be a me who owns it.

Exactly.

I do not see "me" in reality. I was carefully looking at the computer and realized that I was not seeing it out there, but rather, in consciousness. I looked without analyzing at sounds, smells, tastes, sights, sensations, thoughts, the body, and the sense of being. They all arise in consciousness. The thought/belief of "me" also arises in consciousness. It makes complete sense that "I" am a belief arising in consciousness. The problem is that it still occurs as MY consciousness. I know I cannot be consciousness and be looking at consciousness, but this is my experience at the moment.

Take a look then and see if there is any I/Me that owns consciousness?
Is there a Brad that is looking at consciousness?

Consciousness is known, is there a knower that knows consciousness? Look and let me know what you SEE?

[Brad]

Do you see any similarity between superman and you?

Yes. The similarity is that I can't find either of them.

Take a look then and see if there is any I/Me that owns consciousness?
Is there a Brad that is looking at consciousness?

I still can't find anything that owns it or is looking at it, but I still keep calling it mine. Then I ask look at the belief "my consciousness" and realize that it arises in consciousness. And then I call it my consciousness again. It's a circle that sounds totally insane as I write this, but that is what's been happening all day.

Consciousness is known, is there a knower that knows consciousness? Look and let me know what you SEE?

I anything that knows consciousness, but the belief that I know it keeps coming up.

[Brad]

That last sentence should have said "I don't see anything that knows consciousness".

[Behzad]

Yes. The similarity is that I can't find either of them.

Good. So whats left when there is no you?

I still can't find anything that owns it or is looking at it, but I still keep calling it mine. Then I ask look at the belief "my consciousness" and realize that it arises in consciousness. And then I call it my consciousness again. It's a circle that sounds totally insane as I write this, but that is what's been happening all day.

You say that you cant see anything that owns or is looking at consciousness <---- This is the verification of that no one owns it. But still you say that you cant stop saying that its yours : )) Thats insane my frieand. just stop calling it your consciousness when there already is the knowing that it deosnt belong to anyone.

Let me give you an analogy so this can be a little bit clearer:

Its like a child that steels his frieands toy and says "this toy is mine" then father comes and says " no my child this is not youre toy, we have never bought that toy, give it to youre frieand now. You have never seen us buying that, right? How can it be yours then? " Then the child gives the toy to the frieand because he realizes that "yes we have never bought that toy and we are in his house and his room and I didnt brought any toy with me and I had never seen that toy before so it must be his toy". But although all this is seen and know the child keeps saying its my toy, that would be crazy. So stop doing that just when you know that its not yours : )

[Brad]

It is clear that I am not the body or senses and I am not having trouble with these. I think thoughts are the problem. I have never thought that I was my thoughts, but the sense of self (a thought) is attached to every thought that arrises. I can't just see them for what they are. This makes looking feel more like active searching where the mind keeps wanting to find an answer for everything. I don't know how to shut it off.

I have also been trying to isolate the sense of self in order to look at it closely. I haven't been able to do it. It seems like it is embedded with every other thought and can't be looked at by itself. Do you have any suggestions as to how I could isolate the sense of self and see it for what it is?

Thank you, Brad

[Behzad]

It is clear that I am not the body or senses and I am not having trouble with these. I think thoughts are the problem. I have never thought that I was my thoughts, but the sense of self (a thought) is attached to every thought that arrises. I can't just see them for what they are. This makes looking feel more like active searching where the mind keeps wanting to find an answer for everything. I don't know how to shut it off.

I have also been trying to isolate the sense of self in order to look at it closely. I haven't been able to do it. It seems like it is embedded with every other thought and can't be looked at by itself. Do you have any suggestions as to how I could isolate the sense of self and see it for what it is?

So there is a belief that the thoughts are youres, right? Otherwise it wouldnt matter what thoughts that were happening. How had you be thinking to isloate something that doesnt exist? Can you try to isolate Santa, Superman or maybe Batman? Would that be possible?

I thoughts will always arise <----- who has problem with that? A thought? Are you a thought? if there is no me, then what is having a problem with life? What is complaining about life, thoughts, the me?

Take a look at the thoughts, are you controlling the thoughts?
Is there a thinker of thoughts?
Is there a I/Me that is outside of the thoughts?
Is there a owner of thoughts?
Is there anyone that can shut of the mind?

Look at these questions and tell me whats being seen?

[Brad]

Hi Behzad,

I need some moe time to look at these questions before I can answer. I have been looking today and I am noticing some differences. I've noticed some boundaries that have been created by the mind that I didn't realize were there before. I think I'm slowly making progress. Will report back tomorrow.

[Behzad]

Beautiful Brad, thank you for the report. Keep really looking at how things really are, so old beliefs about how you thought things were can start to fall off. You are doing great, keep going....

[Behzad]

How are things going?

[Brad]

I am struggling. I thought I was getting close. For the first time I was able to see everything as consciousness without the "my consciousness" part. There were no feelings. I had no urge to move or fidget. I was living in direct experience for awhile.

Then the thoughts started..."Is this it? Is something going to happen? What will it feel like when it happens?" So then I had to test it and quickly found that I was still identifying with I/me so that wasn't it.

It seems like a good state to be in for looking at direct experience. I have tried to get back in that state with success only one other time. And shortly after I got into that state the timer on the oven went off and distracted me.

I realized that while I don't have any expectations of what it would be like, I do have an expectation that something will happen. When I start looking for it, I get distracted and off track.

[Behzad]

Dear Brad,

I want you to not flipp around and go in to other things. Stay with the questions I asked. You didnt answer a singel one of them, instead you went off and did a investigation on youre own. Dont hurry. You need to take one step at the time and keep youre focus on answering the questions that is being asked.

So please go back and answer the questions, thanks.

[Brad]

So there is a belief that the thoughts are youres, right?

Yes.

How had you be thinking to isloate something that doesnt exist? Can you try to isolate Santa, Superman or maybe Batman? Would that be possible?

I can't isolate something that doesn't exist, but I was trying to isolate the sense of being, which is a thought. I am able to isolate and look at other thoughts, but not this one.

I thoughts will always arise <----- who has problem with that? A thought? Are you a thought?

My sense of being has a problem with it. It is a thought, but I am not a thought.

if there is no me, then what is having a problem with life? What is complaining about life, thoughts, the me?

An imaginary me that can't be found.

Take a look at the thoughts, are you controlling the thoughts?

No, the thoughts are completely out of control.

Is there a thinker of thoughts?

No.

Is there a I/Me that is outside of the thoughts?

No.

Is there a owner of thoughts?

No.

Is there anyone that can shut of the mind?

No.

Look at these questions and tell me whats being seen?[/quote]