No self, no santa claus

[Golikewise]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
There is no I who is actually making decisions, thinking thoughts, hearing, seeing, breathing, doing. There are only the decisions, thoughts, hearing seeing, breathing, doing that are happening on their own. The confusion happens because there is also an I thought/sense that arises almost simultaneously which claims ownership over all of this.

What are you looking for at LU?
I have heard the analogy of seeing no self compared to seeing that there is no Santa Claus. Although I understand the concept of no self and frequently look for the self (especially the self who is experiencing an uncomfortable sensation) and find none, I cannot say that my seeing of no self is as clear as my seeing of no santa. I never catch myself slipping back into believing in santa; that seeing is just completely incorporated into my world view. I want to have the same certainty and consistency in seeing no self. As it is now, I have to remind myself of no self, which seems like just a thought, not a seeing.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I am hoping to be guided to look in ways that I haven't before. I expect to be challenged and surprised. I think that I want to see clearly so much, but I have not done so yet. So I imagine there is something(s) I am holding onto, afraid of, etc. that is stopping me. Maybe a belief I haven't questioned. I expect an objective set of eyes to help me be honest with myself.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I became interested in non-dual understanding about 10 years ago through Tolle. Then I spoke with my uncle who is a spiritual teacher and he pointed me away from the direct path, sort of indicating that I wasn't spiritually mature enough. That started my sporadic meditation/spiritual practice including zen, tibetan buddhism, hare krishna. But I am always put off by ritual and dogma, so now I find myself again drawn to the direct path. My current youtube teacher is Angel Dilullo.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[graceabounds]

Hello!

Thanks for your patience in waiting for a guide. I would be happy to be with you in this inquiry.

Are you ready to get started?
And willing to set down all the books, teachings and accumulated spiritual knowledge for the duration of this process? :)

With love,
Becca