gibraltar liberation

[graceabounds]

drill down one more layer beyond ‘safety’ and ‘comfort’…. what is the direct experience of these, prior to words about them?

[Sukie]

Hi,
Sorry for the delay, I've looked beyond the comfort and safety several times, I'm not finding anything, well.. its like I'm looking through a tunnel, that still has some flavour of 'me', this can widen sometimes to include the space around me, but its just empty space, or aware space, or space I'm aware of...its nothing and nothing has changed or happened....Im worried that this might be it, I would be so disappointed...please advise :)

[graceabounds]

Where exactly is this “flavour of me”?
Is it in sensation?
Is it in the visual field?
Does it have a location, shape, boundary?

Look again, precisely. If you don’t directly find something
then be honest… Is the “flavour of me” anything more than a thought claiming ownership?

I would be so disappointed

What exactly were you expecting to happen? What would that provide to the structure of ‘you’?

That expectation, is it here now?

What if nothing was ever supposed to happen?

Because this isn’t about producing a new experience.
It’s about seeing what’s already the case…

[Sukie]

Where exactly is this “flavour of me”?
Is it in sensation?
Is it in the visual field?
Does it have a location, shape, boundary?

It seems to be the shape of my field, its only on the left side, it seems illuminated, conscious and the right side seems dark and quiet. I seem always to 'look out of the tunnel' on the left which feels like my energy field, it bulges out on the left, thats what feels like me, its in my head and in front, it seems yellowish, lit up, these are all thoughts about something like sensation but less than physical sensation.

There is nothing physical there of course, this feels like distraction. That the inquiry should be focussed 'backwards' into the abyss of the mind, where there is nothing and so it is difficult to maintain focus there.

What exactly were you expecting to happen? What would that provide to the structure of ‘you’?

I was expecting my sense of self to be replaced with a feeling of oneness. If nothing is supposed to happen, how should I know when it hasn't? :))

[graceabounds]

Very good.

There is nothing physical there

Exactly. This is critical seeing. What you describe is not a self. It is a recurring perceptual/conceptual pattern. A thought immediately tries to convert a sensation into a location of identity.
“This is where I am looking from.”
“The quiet side is not-me.” etc

WHY does that illuminated region feel important?

I seem always to ‘look out of the tunnel’

Can you find an actual looker there?

the inquiry should be focussed ‘backwards’ into the abyss

That is a trap. You are imagining liberation as finding the correct direction to aim attention.
But no direction contains a self!


Examine the illuminated left-field directly.
Without referring to memory, using spatial imagination,
or even describing it, what is actually there?

Look before the labels.
Does the “yellow conscious tunnel” say “I am you”? Or does thought say that afterward?


You mention the right side feels “dark and quiet.”

Notice the automatic assumption
illuminated = me
quiet = absence
What if the quiet side simply lacks narrative?

Stay with the left side sensations. Is there an owner of it?
Or only the appearance of localized experiencing plus a story ABOUT “me”?

I was expecting my sense of self to be replaced with a feeling of oneness.

Take a look back at this from when you registered:

Concerning Liberation

We are fully aware of the fact that the term “Liberation” has different meanings in different traditions. In order to not set up false expectations, we'd like to make it clear that we use the word in a very specific way. In the context of Liberation Unleashed, liberation refers to the clear, unambiguous and direct realisation of the absence of a separate self. Because not everyone, perhaps no one comes to the Gate without at least some degree of latent tendencies, what we refer to as liberation may not be what you expect of it. Seeing self for what it really is - a story, does not mean that your life is suddenly upgraded in every conceivable way. Old habits, beliefs, programming and conditioning will very probably remain in place. Awakening from the story of you allows old patterns to drop away quickly. The foundation upon which these patterns were based is gone. In this sense, liberation is just the beginning.

‘Feeling of oneness’ is a concept of something off in the distance, not here now. We aren’t aiming for it here. What we are after is clear seeing of this first stage in the awakening process: there is no separate self at all, never has been, never will be.

So take a look.
Who owns that concept of ‘oneness’ and who compares what IS with this concept?

And since you asked ‘how should I know’… The I cannot know. The I cannot take credit for knowing or not knowing. There is no I.

So what we look for here at LU is the end of seeking. Once what is is seen that energy falls away and life goes on as it was and always has been. Free of doership.

[Sukie]

what is actually there?

Stay with the left side sensations. Is there an owner of it?
Or only the appearance of localized experiencing plus a story ABOUT “me”?

Its like a physical sensation but not quite, it moves with focus, just now the typical left leaning moved across in response to a pain in the right side of my head. it feels like tingling in my physical head/face, but finer than physical tingling and like a pulling sensation or swelling sensation in whatever direction it goes. Its a physical-ish thing, my energy field, part of my body. Its not myself in the same way the body isn't. I suppose I feel like my consciousness inhabits my head so the energy around my head feels conscious, an extension of my conscious head. But that is a conclusion, a story yes.

WHY does that illuminated region feel important?

Its not important its just that I can sense/feel it and can't feel anything on the other side.

Can you find an actual looker there?

No, the looker would be back behind the eyes, but theres nothing there, then attention expands to around the head, theres just conscious awareness.

[graceabounds]

You can feel the left side. You can’t feel the right side.
How does that imply a self?

If one foot is warm and the other foot is cold, does that produce a self?

Or is there simply
* tingling here*
* no tingling there*
with the “me” added afterward as commentary?


Here is an investigation of the body. Please follow each step, don't leave out any. Take your time. Don't move to the next step until the previous one is clearly seen. Repeat the exercise several times.

Stand in front of a bigger mirror.
(1) First, close the eyes and feel the sensations labeled ‘body’.
(2) Then open the eyes and look into the mirror while still paying attention to the sensations.
Is there any connection between the felt sensations and the image in the mirror?
Or just thoughts (and/or mental images) suggest that there is?
(3) While still paying attention to the sensations move one hand and observe the movement from the mirror.
Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labeled ‘hand’) and image of movement in the mirror?
(4) Now do the same movement with the hand, but this time look at the hand directly, not from the mirror.
Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labeled ‘hand’) and the image ‘of movement’? Or only thoughts suggest it?
(5) Now, pay attention only to the image in the mirror.
Does the image by itself suggest in any way that is ‘you’ or ‘your body’?
Does the image itself suggest in any way that it is a ‘body’ at all?
Or are there only colours and shapes?
(6) Where the mirror ends, some parts of the body (probably legs) cannot be seen. Just by the image in the mirror, is there any ‘knowledge’ that there must be legs, or only thoughts and mental images suggest so?
(7) Now turn away from the mirror and look forward (don’t look directly to any body parts).
Is there a ‘body’ anywhere when all thoughts and images are ignored, or are there only sensations?
(8) Start to walk slowly.
Is there a ‘body walking’, or are there only sensations?
Is there actual experience of ‘walking’ at all? Or just THOUGHTS ABOUT ‘walking’?
Can such a thing as ‘body’ be found OR just THOUGHTS ABOUT a ‘body’?
Can such a thing as ‘walking’ be found?
(9) Are the sensations localized in space, like ‘going through the room’; OR is there only an image that is labeled ‘room’ and appearing sensations without any location?

No, the looker would be back behind the eyes, but theres nothing there

Very good.
Can you find a center from which experience is being experienced?