Ready to ask for help

[vinceschubert]

Hi Steve,

In my experience, it doesn't seem to belong to anyONE but by definition it's that which defines belonging as a concept.

Good. Now go straight into that.

That “thing which defines belonging”—
Where is it?
What is it made of?
Can you touch it, hold it, locate it?
Or is it just another thought appearing after the sensation?

Look now. Stay raw. Describe only what you find—not the concept.

Yeah, but stuck there! I suspect I may be content to be stuck, because I can keep the comforts of this experience together with the allure of peeping over the fence at the Realm Beyond

There it is. Caught.

You’ve named the last refuge: the seeker who refuses to die.
“Comfort + possibility.”
“I get to stay safe and still imagine what’s over there.”

That’s the core of the illusion. The mechanism that keeps this alive is not thought—it’s refusal to fully let go of the search itself.

Now:

Feel it.
Where is the comfort?
Where is the longing?
What holds the tension of “stay + peek”?
Track it physically, right now.

Do not tell me the story.
Do not justify the stance.
Give me only the raw, felt data.

Do it. Report.

Ask: Does this sensation belong to anyone?

I've gone over this point a number of times. Nothing materializes, and I get frustrated

Good. Frustration is the door.

Now: stop chasing the answer.
The fact that nothing materializes is the answer.

You’re frustrated because you want something to appear.
You want a "felt proof" or "final confirmation."
That’s the seeking identity refusing to die.

Now do this:

1. Let the frustration fully flood the body.
2. Where does it hit first? Chest? Belly? Jaw?
3. Feel it completely without labeling or fixing.
4. Ask: who owns this frustration?
5. Wait. Don’t move away.

Sit in it. Report only the physical effect. Nothing else.


vince

[silverlode]

Hi Vince. Since that last post I've felt 'locked out'of the investigation. I let anything and everything distract my attention, and while there's a constant nagging voice saying: this is the only thing that matters (the enquiry) I can't focus and getting in touch with the 'raw data' you requested, eludes me. I'm sure you are correct about the last refuge of The Seeker who refuses to die, even though my head tries to tell me that's not where I'm at! It's a bit of a weird phase to be in where I'm doing the exact opposite of what the Spiritual head thinks it 'ought' to be doing. The situation may be exacerbated by intermittent responses on my part. Even posting this here helps me feel more connected. But to return to my point of departure: it was your request for physical senses and data that I didn't fully understand and consequently avoided. I started getting unclear about this sense of self and found everything else that came to attention more alluring. So, that's not a very coherent progression - but it's where I've been at for a little while. No rush. I'm not going anywhere, but please let me know what you see in this situation. With thanks. Steve

[silverlode]

I think you might have already answered my query previously - does this look like it?

**“Where is the ‘I’ that must react this way?”**
- **“Where is the ‘I’ that is stuck?”**
- **“Where is the ‘I’ that must figure this out?”**

Every time you look, the answer is the same: **nowhere.**

This is no longer about chasing some massive shift. It’s about watching, again and again, how this illusion **never actually holds up.**

So keep going. Keep testing it. Not as a mental game, but as raw, undeniable *fact.*

Every moment is a new chance to see: **was there ever a separate "me" in any of it?**
..and by "see" it doesn't mean think about it. It

means in your actual experiencing.

It's the 'actual experiencing'that eludes me (not surprising really, if the 'me' is the seeker)

[vinceschubert]

Hi Steve,

It's the 'actual experiencing'that eludes me

“Actual experiencing” isn’t something you get.
It’s always here. The problem is that you're looking for something extra—some special “actual experience” that feels different or significant.
Drop the expectation that there’s some special state to find.
Right now:
Feel the weight of your body.
Hear the sounds in the room.
Notice the breath moving.
Feel any tension or pressure anywhere.
This — raw, unfiltered sensory data — is actual experience.
No thought required. No meaning attached. No interpretation.
Stay right there.
Now:
Is anything missing?
Is anything more needed?
Who is not yet satisfied?
Find the sensation of that unsatisfied urge.
Report only what happens physically.
So, What is experienced when you look for an actual self?

vince