Let's explore this next pointer and then the next one after that, and perhaps the way to inquire into this becomes clearer. If not, let me know :)So, in the blackness, my thought was, maybe there is no I? And that was recognized at truth, but thought of Lori came up, and i thought, well, yes, there is a Lori. Lori is this thinking mechanism, even though I don't see an origin. I didn't know where to go with that thought, as I seem to go in frustrating circles. I can recognize that thoughts don't come from anywhere, I search for their origin, and find nothing. But then the thought of Lori shows up as the person orchestrating these things with no origin. How do I tie the two together? i am finding strong resistance.
Explore ‘Sense of Self'
Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there.
You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.
This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.
Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this sense of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by feeling it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:
Does the sense of self have a location?
Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?
Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?
If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?
Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?
What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?
What is found?
