Hahahahahha - thanks, Xain!

I got a message from 'aftercare' with details of what to do - thank you - looking forward to joining the community on Facebook.

The thing is, your question 'What causes things to occur' has to assume something. It has to assume that something is definately doing ...

Ha ha - brilliant!

Hi Xain,

4) Was there something you look into or something I may have mentioned that made you fully realise - Was there a moment where you 'tipped over' into realising 'no self'?

I really couldn't say that there was. When I think back over our exchanges and the exercises you've given me over the ...

Hi Xain,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No. Not now. Not ever.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now ...

Hi Xain,

Ha ha - I think I definitely fall into the "duh" category :-)

I am 100% happy to keep looking into things until you are 100% happy as well. I mean that.
Little point in anything else really. I'm here for you until it's certain.


Thank you. No, it's certain. I mean, I don't know what ...

Thanks Xain,

Was the anger or annoyace anything to do with this inquiry? If so, why?


Hmmm, well, I don't actually remember now. In any case, I don't feel annoyed now.

You mention life carries on . . . are you expecting something to 'not carry on'? Something to change?


I'm not expecting ...

Hi Xain,

Sorry for the absence. I just wanted to let you know I've been travelling yesterday and today and didn't find the time I thought I would to reply. I'll be home tomorrow evening and will reply properly as soon as I can.

Thanks and sorry again.

Love,
Leah

HI Xain,

How do you feel right now?

Last night I felt a bit 'meh', also a bit angry/annoyed. This morning I just feel as though life is carrying on as usual.

Feel free to open up and ask any questions you like at this point.
Anything you don't understand or want to share - Throw it my way ...

Hi Xain,

Can you find an 'I' here right now that makes choices? Has there EVER BEEN a Leah that makes choices?


No. I can't find an 'I'. If there isn't one now, there never has been. How could there be if it's just a label. It's always just been a label.

Has there EVER been a Leah that chose ...

Hi Xain,

I need a bit longer to sit with these questions. Some of the answers feel clear - like is there an 'I' here now that makes choices? No, it's clear there is no 'I'.

But, "did you have any choice in starting this guidance with me?" doesn't feel clear, for example.

I'll write more tomorrow ...

Hi Xain,


The thing is, what we are addressing here is not thought to be just an idea!
The 'I', the separate self, the Leah is assumed to be absolutely real and here right now, isn't it?
If it absolutely real and here right now we should be able to find it, shouldn't we? That would prove it's not ...

Hi Xain,

I'm here. Sorry for my absence and for breaking our agreement without letting you know what's going on. Not cool.

This last part - moving the arm - has felt less clear to me. And then this weird thing happened the other night when I was just looking at this stuff and then starting crying ...

Hi Xain,

1) What can be found that is in control of the hand rising in the air?
What can be found making the muscles contract and the limb move?
What is making it do that?
Don't try to think what the right answer might be but instead use the senses and try to FIND what is causing that to happen ...

Hi Xain,

Is there a hand and a table being found as two separate things in 'feeling' itself, one 'doing' the feeling, and the other 'being felt'? Or is there just 'a sensation'?

This bit that you said here really helped. No, only a sensation.

1) Is there anything to be found in 'Experiencing ...

Hi Xain,

Again, could it be just an idea / a belief / that there is an 'I' hearing?

Yes, it totally could!

Now I want you to 'go to' the feeling that we would normally call 'hand on desk' with eyes closed, and see what can be found.

I put my hand on the wooden table outside. It's really ...