Yes :)

Lol 'not "you"'.

Look at "So why is the belief in self still around?" - is this true?

*shrug* it's around if I'm not looking into direct experience enough.

Even if it were, is it personal?

No.

I'm starting to see that it's not, but there's resistance to really getting it, letting go of 'ownership' of all experiences, intentions, etc and seeing that they're all like wind blowing.

But what is there to own them, what's there to realise any of this, or release anything? When I look, there's ...

Physical movement is just an event and there's no need to involve an idea of self in it, it's like the wind blowing or grass growing. The intention to move happens, then there is motion.

There's the intention for movement to occur, followed by the movement. The intention isn't something chosen by something else.

There's less belief in self, but still some - such nonsense. As 'I' keep looking at stuff and seeing that it isn't self, more anxiety is coming up for some reason, and restlessness. 'I' want to stop believing this crap and don't know why 'I' still do, like someone tasting the sea over and over ...

The idea of self seems to be associated with the idea that experiences take place 'on the same screen', i.e. hearing happens in the same 'place' as seeing happens, etc, and the idea of the watcher/observer is based on that 'centre'.

So I need to see through the idea of the 'centre that all ...

Sorry, forgot to post yesterday. The deconstruction process is continuing, nothing new to add.

The sense of a centre to experience, looking outwards, is starting to really fade at times when the reflexive looking is going well, at these times the 'deconstruction' is clearer and it's more clearly seen that in experience there is just a bunch of processes with no centre, no self. I think that ...

Carrying on...

Yes, that's helping to get through the 'have cake and eat it' issue. The looking and the knowing are also just happening.

I guess I'm just being impatient, wanting to fulfill hopes of there being a sudden massive champagne POP of clear seeing that forever shatters any idea of self, suddenly making me a peaceful, selfless (as in not selfish) insightful amazing being. Which is of course unrealistic.

Probably need to ...

Ha ha... I'll get there. :)

Still going...