Round Two

[King Nothing]

Carrying on...

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi King Nothing,

Carrying on...

How's it going? :) Please share as much as you like.

Best wishes,
John

[King Nothing]

The sense of a centre to experience, looking outwards, is starting to really fade at times when the reflexive looking is going well, at these times the 'deconstruction' is clearer and it's more clearly seen that in experience there is just a bunch of processes with no centre, no self. I think that belief in self will end when I get a bit further into this deconstruction/reflexive looking.

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi King Nothing,

The sense of a centre to experience, looking outwards, is starting to really fade at times when the reflexive looking is going well, at these times the 'deconstruction' is clearer and it's more clearly seen that in experience there is just a bunch of processes with no centre, no self. I think that belief in self will end when I get a bit further into this deconstruction/reflexive looking.

An ordinary moment - when the pointer is turned, flipped - 180 degrees - reflexively - on the one - getting further into this deconstruction/reflexive looking.

...and the balloon pops itself.

This one is the last resort. After all, someone's got to do the looking?

Best,
John

[King Nothing]

Sorry, forgot to post yesterday. The deconstruction process is continuing, nothing new to add.

[s-p-a-c-e]

Sorry, forgot to post yesterday. The deconstruction process is continuing, nothing new to add.

Cool. Keep the updates coming as and when. Point directly, precisely at and through, the one doing the process. Transparent.

/John

[King Nothing]

The idea of self seems to be associated with the idea that experiences take place 'on the same screen', i.e. hearing happens in the same 'place' as seeing happens, etc, and the idea of the watcher/observer is based on that 'centre'.

So I need to see through the idea of the 'centre that all experiences happen in'. Perhaps it may help to look at each of the senses and thinking - how all these experiences don't occur in the same location, or even ANY location. Any pointers?

It seems that seeing through an idea reveals another bunch of ideas hidden underneath. Deeper down the rabbit hole... :P

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi King Nothing,

The idea of self seems to be associated with the idea that experiences take place 'on the same screen', i.e. hearing happens in the same 'place' as seeing happens, etc, and the idea of the watcher/observer is based on that 'centre'.

So I need to see through the idea of the 'centre that all experiences happen in'. Perhaps it may help to look at each of the senses and thinking - how all these experiences don't occur in the same location, or even ANY location. Any pointers?

It seems that seeing through an idea reveals another bunch of ideas hidden underneath. Deeper down the rabbit hole... :P

"So I need to see through the idea of the 'centre that all experiences happen in'."

^ Who needs to see through this?

And this is not a question to be answered intellectually, but evidentially.

Find the one looking. Is anyone looking? Is it you?

Take the attention and home it in on the place/feeling/space/whatever that seems most likely to be YOU.

Spend some time there, in this YOU space.

This is the home of the assumption of you.

Let through the door the possibility that this familiar feeling is not who you are. In any which way. You - gone - as the story of this feeling being you.

What then?

Best wishes,
John

[King Nothing]

There's less belief in self, but still some - such nonsense. As 'I' keep looking at stuff and seeing that it isn't self, more anxiety is coming up for some reason, and restlessness. 'I' want to stop believing this crap and don't know why 'I' still do, like someone tasting the sea over and over, refusing to accept it's salty even though one taste should make it obvious. 'I' feel like I've looked everywhere in the universe for Batman, and seen he's not there, but still half think he exists. Gah...

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi King Nothing,

There's less belief in self, but still some - such nonsense. As 'I' keep looking at stuff and seeing that it isn't self, more anxiety is coming up for some reason, and restlessness. 'I' want to stop believing this crap and don't know why 'I' still do, like someone tasting the sea over and over, refusing to accept it's salty even though one taste should make it obvious. 'I' feel like I've looked everywhere in the universe for Batman, and seen he's not there, but still half think he exists. Gah...

LOL :)

Instead of looking...lets do some doing - this can be an intriguing exercise:

Ok, the right hand is open and about to curl slowly into a fist; then unfurl and then curl back, opening-closing-opening-closing...

As it starts to move (life) notice any evidence whatsoever of self initiator/initiating.
Do it several times, as slowly as you like.

Try saying "UNFURL!" at the hand and see if it cares about "your" command.

Share what shows up.

Thank you,
John

[King Nothing]

There's the intention for movement to occur, followed by the movement. The intention isn't something chosen by something else.

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi King Nothing,

There's the intention for movement to occur, followed by the movement. The intention isn't something chosen by something else.

Good. While the hand curls and unfurls, several times, hold the idea of a self initiating this, doing this, able to start and stop. Does this idea stand up to experience?

Feel deep into the implications of this.

Thank you,
John

[King Nothing]

Physical movement is just an event and there's no need to involve an idea of self in it, it's like the wind blowing or grass growing. The intention to move happens, then there is motion.

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi King Nothing,

Physical movement is just an event and there's no need to involve an idea of self in it, it's like the wind blowing or grass growing. The intention to move happens, then there is motion.

Is the sensation called "me" any more personal than the wind blowing?

Thank you,
John

[King Nothing]

I'm starting to see that it's not, but there's resistance to really getting it, letting go of 'ownership' of all experiences, intentions, etc and seeing that they're all like wind blowing.

But what is there to own them, what's there to realise any of this, or release anything? When I look, there's nothing there. So why is the belief in self still around? :P