What was the final thing that pushed you, that 'turned on the light'?

Can't pinpoint a thing, it's kind of blurry now. But I was laying in bed, worrying about something that happened at work and could not stop the thinking, noticing again that there was not a me in control of thought. My body was ...

Was there ever a self?

There is never a seperate self which kind of equals there was never a self.
There has only been experiencing now. There are thoughts about a past and a future, which gives a sense of time. But the future and past are never here. So all the me was was a bundle of thoughts ...

I just confirmed that message, cause it has happened before that I wrote something and it's lost.
I've tried to store the message, but then could not find it.

Anyway, long story short.

Everything's beautiful impersonal.

There is nobody that can say that I do or don't exist.
Thought says that.
There is nobody that can say I am enlightened/awakened or I'm not. Again thought.
There has never been a person, there is only what arises now and that is either thought, feeling or sensing.
And it cannot be other than that ...

But you are right, right on.
There is an issue with the convincing nature of thought and feeling.

Can you give advise on how to look into the if it's happening TO somebody or just happening?
I've tried, but am stuck. There's even a habitual pattern around Investigating or just LOOKing now, going ...

Just a quick reply, will get back to you later.
I just wanted to say, whenever thoughts are screaming you got it, you got it, it is noticed that they're just thoughts, it is noticed that it is apparently habitual. Whenever there is a different experience than usual, thoughts start screaming those ...

I guess here comes a story again Nick, sorry.
Went out into nature today, forest, lake. Sat by the lake for a while.
Looking around, no particular thought on my mind. Feeling the breeze.
Walking back home, asking if I excist, straight away looking.
At one point, there was just walking, seeing ...

Read it, understand what you are saying.
Don't know what to reply.

Maybe tomorrow.

Want to say inside, that's my first reaction. But that's the uninvestigated reaction.
Because, I have to ask inside what. Inside this body? This body is just a concept. Body is A name, a name we gave to certain experiences.
This body itself is experienced and I only experience it some of the time in ...

Okay, have calmed down.

I can see my arm... Who sees the arm? Is there a little me who sees the arm, is there anything seperate that sees the arm?
No. Who said no? Thoughts are coming up now saying: I said no, I said no.
Is there anything seperate saying: I said no? Thoughts are tumbling over each ...

Hi Nick,

I really get what you're saying.
Drop the I part: what remains? Thoughts, feelings.
Am I sitting on a chair? No there's sitting and if there's real honesty there's just a feeling in the body, and we CALL it sitting. We call it a body and we call it a feeling. Words to communicate.
Am I ...

I'm slowly getting used to the question:

Still, can't answer it.
I'm only the experience.

It is again very clear to me that there is no 'me' seperate from thought or feeling. So, it's always thought or feeling.
I guess that's why children are usually so relaxed, so natural. Because they don't ...

Where does experience of me happen?

I'll answer from direct experience now hoping you can nudge me in the right direction.

It doesn't happen anywhere in the sense that it can't be really located and at the sametime everywhere, because that's the only way to know the world. There is no escaping ...

Thanks,

I'll look into that today.

Last couple of days feels like something has shifted a little bit.
I'm affraid of saying so, because it could be imagination. And also life has a funny way of showing me that whenever I 'think' something is a certain way, that it's actually the opposite or at ...

You are expecting that EVERYTHING should be known by 'you'... But this you is not able to know. It is not a subject or knower, but rather an object, something known. Known by what? You tell me

This feels like a riddle, a braincracker. I know it probably is not, but it feels like it :)
This you ...