Dear Becca,

I took sometime before responding to you because I wanted to try what you suggested. However, these last two day I haven't been distressed as I had described before. What I have been doing is focusing on the sensations. It was challenging to me to identify clearly the sensation linked ...

What did/do you imagine when you say you will ‘feel’ no self?
Not beeng so entangled in the thoughts about me, especially those that makes me feel bad, like guilty, shame, anxiety. I imaged that something that triggers me (or the conditioning) not bother me so much, because there would be a ...

Thank you so much Becca, I really appreciate your guidance, and it's been very important to me.

Can the illusion of ‘I’ ever not be an illusion again when looking? No
f not then there are some questions I can use to explore if there are any gaps in seeing through self. Here I get a bit confused ...

I sent the previous msg, and now I'm much more stable, calm, and I don't even know what that means in direct experience. Anyway, about your previous enquire:

What is it about this ‘me’ thought that requires, let’s say, more care to question than any other thought? Does it come along with anything ...

Hi Becca,

I’m going to reply to your questions and observations later, but for now I would like to share what is going on. On Thursday, I was in Ilona’s meeting, and something happened there that was very, very clear: there was no “I”. It was as if there was a clear understanding of what she was ...

Are you in control of attention? No.
When you were with your family, was the sense of “me” actually a separate entity that took control of attention? No. I see that the attention has patterns, like if I'm with friends or family it goes in a direction, when I'm by myself or have a routine, it focus ...

My family came to visit and left yesterday morning. During that time, I was completely entangled in this feeling of “me.” The difference I notice between this and clarity is where my attention is focused. I was distracted by my family’s presence; my attention was in my thoughts, and I was doing ...

Hi Becca,

It did land. It’s confusing and uncomfortable. As I was listening, she talked about this taking weeks or years... and that freaked me out, lol. But it also made me see my hurry to get there. For a moment, I could see that it is all about what is happening, and I could relax and let things ...

I hear you, but it's not that it became totally clear that I don't exist, but more like identifying a flaw in the system. Today I was anxious, a few things going on in my personal life, including this process! And there wasn't' this clearness about "there is no-one thinking". it was as used to be ...

Hi Becca,

I was reflecting on your question yesterday, and actually the question that came to me was "who is thinking?" and that had a profound impact on me. It was like having a moment of really stopping and questioning who was having the thoughts, where were they coming from, who was deciding ...

Right now I don't feel sad or confused. This morning I could see the old habits of getting busy, finding things to do, but when I stop and and look at right now, thoughts stops for a sec, I'm focused on the experience, in what is happening: hearing, seeing, typing, thinking. When I look to what is ...

Those are good questions! And you made a point that was important. I was waiting for an answer.
When you ask Can that be enough? maybe I was expecting a clear answer.
However, when it's asked what is real, makes easier to distinguish what is imagination and what is really happening right now.
I ...

Hi Becca,

Of course! You're right. Thinking it's a direct experience, but not the content of it. So there is no difference in terms os direct experience if I think about a friend, a stranger and me, they're just thoughts.
Is there anything special about thoughts with the content "me-character ...

Is there someone doing ‘allowing’? That's a good point. It was something different that happened, but it wasn't me allowing. It just happened.

What does ‘a little opening’ feel like? How is it known? This goes back to the difficulty of describing physical sensations related to emotional states. I ...

Hi Becca,

Getting back to the routine makes it easier to be focused and centered. That makes it easier to see that it's all thoughts. This rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts that makes no sense. Looking back (the past, which I know is not direct experience) the crisis, the confusion, were all ...