Hi Rali,

Thanks for your message. I guess this changing from green to blue is as close to a certificate of awakening as one can get! :)

And thank you so much for your time and your insight in this process. You’ve been incredible. I always looked forward to your messages, and they never said what ...

Hi Rali,

Sorry for the delay! End of the school year in Canada, which means graduations, events and activities. Just starting to catch my breath again. :)

What reactions, feelings and thoughts, come up when saying out loud the following sentences:
- I don't exist
- it is clear beyond doubt I ...

Hi Rali,

I remember when we first started talking and you said it was spring in South Africa, and now, it’s likely the depths of winter. How cold does it get there? Is it rainy? Hard to imagine an African winter.

It’s 28C here right now. That’s pretty warm for June. Where I live, we usually have ...

Hi Rali,

Thanks for your kind words on sadness. Similar themes have been rolling around my mind lately, particularly around my husband’s illness. There’s this belief that not worrying and grieving is irresponsible. Not being afraid is irresponsible. And sure there is fear and worry and sadness ...

Hi Rali,

Sorry for the delay. Been a loooong week. One of my students died, which really sucked, and came hot on the heals of two near-suicides and my nerves are a bit fried and been feeling pretty distracted.

Did you know the architects of Apartheid visited Canada in the 40s to see how we did ...

Hi Rali,

Morning. :) This makes sense now. Thanks for your questions; they were really helpful!

When the thought “I’ve been depressed for months” appears, what is ACTUALLY here? ....The “months” part is conceptual overlay. Not wrong. Not bad. Not denial-worthy. Just not what is directly ...

Hi Rali,

Apologies for taking forever to write back to you! Long week. Probably. That’s just a thought.

The self needs time; a past to come from, a future to get to, a path to travel, progress to measure.
Without that framework, what remains?

It seems a little silly to think of something as a ...

Hi Rali,

Good. Stay with the simplicity of that (that it's clear there is no self). Don’t measure it by obviousness, profundity, freedom, or any other flavour. Those are weather.

I love this. Obviousness and clarity and other flavours are thoughts. They’re opinions about experience and not ...

Hi Rali,

Morning. Hope you’re doing well. I saw a grey whale AND a pod of orcas today - clearly a lucky sign. :)

What hasn’t reappeared?
That clear, obvious, no-self seeing, is that something that comes and goes?
Or is it a moment where thought stopped interfering, followed by thought saying ...

Hi Rali,

I had the most stable, clearest, longest lasting glimpse yet the other day. It was really clear and very, very obvious. It didn’t come with any euphoria or anything; it was quite matter of fact.

I started with that “sinking back into awareness” and noticed the flow of everything that ...

Hi Rali,

Thanks for the questions. Thought provoking, and poking something that at times doesn’t want to be poked. I’ve been returning to this a lot this week, and it’s been really helpful.

Now don’t turn this into understanding.

Yeah…. There’s such grasping for understanding, for a path, for ...

Hi Rali,

That whole idea of processing, releasing, needing attention — look at it carefully:
Is that coming from sensation… or from thought trying to manage sensation?
When a sensation appears — before anything is done with it — is it incomplete? Is it stuck? Does it ask for help?
Or is it ...

Hi Rali,

What lovely questions. These are so precise in focusing on what's coming up and what's next and unwinding where I'm selfing. These are really useful, and the last few weeks have been so helpful and so appreciated.

Without adding a single thought… does the sensation stay exactly the ...

Hi Rali,

That heavy, painful energy you say lasts for weeks, does the energy itself say “this should be gone by now”?
Or does that come from thought?
That same energy, does it say “I am being processed”?
Or is that another layer added on top?
You’re still sneaking in a manager. “Processing ...

Hi Rali,

It can’t be other than it is, here, now. Not an approval, not neutral acceptance, not liking it. Just no second version of this moment exists. All of these alternative scenarios and appraisals of the current moment exist only as thoughts.

I'm noting my own conditioning and religious ...