But thoughts feel more like they’re produced or controlled by “me”
So what!

Have been trying to get more of a direct sense that thoughts simply appear
Isn't it obvious?
But "just appear" is shorthand for saying that conditions trigger them. Something you hear, see, smell etc. ..or anither ...

though I still can’t help feeling a little like I was criticized.
Ok, being awake isn't about this stuff (or anything) not turning up. It's what happens when it does. What the reaction/response to it is.
It's reasonable to expect that anything that hasn't been examined/accepted will turn up if it ...

Hesitant to post yet again Don't hesitate. The more the better...
Happy birthday, vince! Thank you (really)
when I’m having a particularly hard time, These are potentially really productive experiences.
I get defensive when criticized, This is wonder full. It is identifying big time. Hubby's ...

And yet . . . there’s still this sense that there’s an “I” here who’s looking at stuff “out there.” ???
The SENSE of a self is an illusion created by the mind/brain that has linked the sensory stimulation with a story of origination
The illusion is assembled in layers. First, the brain links ...

Is this a trick question?

No. And the pedantic employee is correct: “life is playing” was poetry. All that can be reported precisely is that playful thoughts, feelings and laughter appeared. Promote him to air-traffic controller if you like; the abandoned airport could use the company ...

I don’t have any trouble understanding that THIS—or what IS—includes everything, including thoughts, even thoughts about preferring silence to thoughts, and even thoughts like “I haven’t fully grokked this yet.” That all seems obvious.

What I feel like I’m not grokking is . . . well, maybe the ...

it occurred to me that these exchanges are sometimes starting to feel more like play than like dokusan (meeting with a Zen teacher) or therapy. This is especially noteworthy given that K has been chronically depressed for her entire adult life, until very recently, and hasn’t often found things ...

that I have already pretty well internalized that mental chatter is part of THIS—y’know, even while not having fully grokked what it means for everything to be THIS.

Let’s play with the word.

Remove the TH from THIS , and what remains?

IS.

THIS may still contain a subtle gesture: someone ...

It’s almost the opposite. It’s a reminder that the DOer doesn’t need to take charge of meditation—directing attention or managing thoughts—or of the awakening process.

Ah, yes. Correction accepted. Tiny K isn’t directing traffic; she’s being invited to clock off.
And if she returns five minutes ...

Hope wandered in looking for something interesting.
Disappointment followed when nothing obliged.
Later, Quiet turned up unannounced.
Then Gladness noticed her.

None of them checked with K first.


Continued with “doing nothing,” with the reminder “Stay out of the way.”

I like the reminder ...

The eye twitch jumped out at me.
Notice how you relate to it by seeking meaning. Is this a classic case of relating to the thoughts about it rather than the actual experience?
Is there a belief that something will change (fix?) if the mind is satisfied?
It seems obvious here that it could be the ...

increasingly I’m noticing—not just during meditation but all the time—that when thoughts are recognized as thoughts and, thus, have been let go, there’s a sense of relief, like there was a lot of energy going into keeping the thoughts spinning, plus there’s often stress or anxiety or some other ...

the current feeling that there's no reason to do any more of this
I agree. It could seem as if we're going around in circles, except for the changes that you are noticing.
What if, as an experiment, we do nothing intentionally for a couple of days? (what is your reaction to this?)

Of course ...

It seems like thought creates an image of nothing, and it’s the actual K who faces that image—

And, OK, in the middle of typing that last sentence, I realized...

Yes. That interruption is exactly where I hoped this might go.
Not towards a correct philosophical answer, but towards catching the ...

Sorry about the 4 a.m. wakeup call. Ha, i hope you didn't actually feel sorry. It had nothing to do with you.
Hope the mind allowed you to go back to sleep! Yes, that happened easily.

I don’t think I’m going to be argued out of terrified awe in the face of mortality.

Good. Let’s stop trying ...