Hello dear guides
Do you find a mind in direct experience?
No, of course not. No mind can be found in d.e. There is the idea of a mind, an assumption that there is one. It’s a concept, a thought only, which in turn originates from other thoughts – beliefs about mind, memories of having being told ...

Hi Sunil, OK, here we go.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No. There was a belief in a separate self, an assumption of one, but it cannot be found in reality. It does not exist. And never did.

2) Explain in detail what ...

Morning Sunil

Normally when I write to you it is late at night at home, when the the self label is attached with superglue. Last night I was pretty dissapointed - 'sure, there's no self, but so what? Nothing's changed. I'm still here in my kitchen feeling tired and having to load the dishwasher ...

Very nice, Kate. Let's give it some more time. Go for another walk in the park when you can.
Thanks. I will.
What has happened today is that I have realised that I have been spending the past few days looking for a mythical creature and then being frustrated that I couldn’t find it. Honestly ...

I meant someone with me AS I step through the gate.
so this is another expectation then, that I can't do it alone
more tomorrow, will answer all your questions then - late here.
goodnight

Perhaps you are trying to rush. Take it easy, relax. This is not a weekend retreat although that may calm you down.

Yes, I have relaxed, perfect, thank you <3

What expectations you are trying to put down, specifically?

Yet more freaking expectations! Still! and not even consistent!
- this ...

oh SO annoying, I answered your other questions but the post got lost. will do it again because there were some expectations coming up that I want to share and clear

The process you describe is illusion coming back and then seen through. So, don't jump to conclusion until you have given it time. Be specific, what can't you seem to do all at once? What are you trying to see properly?

That's beautiful and clear and such a RELIEF. Thank you thank you thank you ...

Hello dear Sunil

Woohoo, today has been pretty thrilling. Thank you for your lovely posts – they have helped me a great deal, especially about relaxing, and how current experience is that of the illusion returning and then being seen through again. I really needed to hear that. The pressure is off ...

What is required to see this? What are your expectations for these qualities?

Commitment, dedication, sincerity – more of these will increase likelihood of freedom / reduce duration of this enquiry
Spending a lot of time looking, i.e. not juggling work and kids etc
Mental focus – looking ...

Please describe the experience of separate self.

There is an experience of a unique and separate entity here, and a world of other things out there. I end at the boundary of my body (my skin) and then everything else starts. I am choosing to sit on my bed and type on my laptop. I feel tired and ...

A doubt here: I am not capable of seeing this. Just not equipped to do it. Too analytical; lacking the necessary discipline; don't have the required ability somehow to cross the gate that other people have. etc etc

Can we deal with this please?

Hi Sunil

Look into the upset and embarrassment. Find out if they are any more than thoughts?

Upset and embarrassment = thoughts + bodily sensations. They seem to originate from other thoughts and are then followed by more thoughts about those things. They do not have independent existence ...

Hi Sunil, thank you for your continued encouragement and for that Ram Dass link. He is a darling.
My mind is on lockdown. I cannot seem to engage with the question "Is there a self / Kate / doer there" any longer. I apparently believe in Santa Claus again. I thought this was “once seen never unseen ...

"I can still love this movie, knowing that it is a movie and I am just an idea"

Big smile. thank you x