Awakening to no-self

[Samanthaqqz]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
My understanding is that there is nothing there but a story… no gender, age, assumptions. We are beyond the stories and conditioning we chose to believe in. There is only presence, no past or future. We are only observing and identifying with the thought, but behind the thought is awareness.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am looking for a mentor to help guide me through this process. I’ve had a few awakenings but i have not had one of the mind. I am still identified with thought, which continues to cause suffering. I’ve had experiences of the truth through my awakenings and in fleeting moments but nothing long-term that i feel really sticks.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Some structure, insight and practices that can help me experience no- self at a deeper level. I think guided conversation can help me feel there is progress being made and help catch me when I am identified with the false self. Catching those small “things” that keep me “trapped” preventing me from moving forward.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I’ve meditated and have been heavily seeking since my spiritual awakening last year. I have recently began self- inquiry.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Anastacia42]

Good morning

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

We are not dso much "moving forward" as staying still. Right here. Right now. No "self." Nothing to see here. Just life life-ing.

It is helpful to come to this forum & post every day.

Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?


Loving,

[Samanthaqqz]

Thank you Stacy. Thank you for your time and help. I appreciate it! You may call me Sam or Samantha. My time zone is EST.

I have read the disclaimer and agree.

How will life change?

I don't know how my life will change.

How will you change?

I don't know how I will change. I think I will live with more presence and awareness. Less attachment to thought.

What will be different?

Less attachment to false self, the character. More awareness of true self.

What is missing?

Nothing. Detachment to thought.

[Anastacia42]

Thank you, Sam. That's good. Short & sweet and your "I don't know" is a good place to be.

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.


Loving,

[Samanthaqqz]

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.

Sadness. I feel like I lived a lie. Confusion. How can I not be a separate self? How did I miss this? Why do I think I am separate? How can I believe that I am not separate? How can I believe I am one with everyone? That I am not different in any way? *Tears* How could I have not have known? What can I do to see the truth?

[Samanthaqqz]

who am I if I am not a separate self?

[Anastacia42]

All understandable.

You are life life-ing.

Well get there.

I suggest you read Gateless Gatecrashers for some encouraging stories. Download it from Books right here.

This is how to LOOK for no self in the exercises - we call them "pointers' - that we will be doing here:


Colored Socks

There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.

Here is an example to illustrate the difference:

If I ask you what color socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:

• You can think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what color you think they are.

• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what color they actually are!

Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.

For the purpose of seeing this "no self" idea, it is very important that you are clear about this difference.

Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that

We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment-to-moment experience. We are only interested in your Direct Experience in the moment..

Direct or Actual Experience is

Seeing

Hearing

Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)

Tasting

Smelling

Thoughts Arising (but not their content)

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.



Loving,

[Samanthaqqz]

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.

I am clear, and ready to begin, thank you. I will take a look at that book.

[Anastacia42]

Great. Here we go.

Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please. Same word forms. Same order. EXACTLY.

Refer to the green list of Actual/Direct Experience in the prior post if that helps. Those are the only items any experience can be.

Loving,

[Samanthaqqz]

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please. Same word forms. Same order. EXACTLY.

Here are some examples so far. Please let me know if I am on track. I've been doing it in my head throughout the day but didn't have my cellphone or something to write my answers down with 95% of the time.

Drinking Lemon water

Seeing a glass of lemon water- image/color
Smelling a glass of lemon water- smell
Feeling the cool glass of lemon water- sensation
Tasting the lemon water- taste
Sound of sipping the lemon water- sound
Thoughts of drinking the lemon water and the exercise- thought
Feeling the cool water going down the esophagus after drinking- sensation


Eating Salad
Looking at a green salad- image/color
Smelling the green salad with dressing when eating - smell
feeling the food in my mouth by chewing, slightly cool to touch-sensation
Tasting the green salad- taste
Chewing the salad, crunching noise- sound
Thinking about green salad- thought

Leisure time
Looking at myself in the mirror- image/color
hot plastic smell from space heater- smell
Feeling warmth on my skin from the space heater- sensation
coffee taste in mouth from the coffee from earlier- taste
Listening to poems- sound
thoughts about the poems- thought


Typing this entry right now on my laptop
Looking at the computer screen- image/color
Smelling wet grass from outside while the window is open- smell
Feeling the coolness of the metal laptop on my wrists as I type: sensation
Tasting smoothie made early morning- taste
Typing sound at this moment- sound
Thoughts about things from earlier on in the day- thought

[Anastacia42]

Perfect. You've git it.

We only want to focus on DE and ignore labels & descriptions.


Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

Sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Loving,

[Samanthaqqz]

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

1. I don't know if one felt more truer than the other, though, one experience felt more chaotic ( using the 'I' label) and the other more calm, stillness and present (without using the 'I' label)
2. There is just being, here, now in the present.
3. Labels affect the experience.
4. The body felt more relaxed without using the 'I' label. More calm. More present. More open. It felt more contracted and chaotic using the "I" label.

[Anastacia42]

Okay good. Let me help you with #1 and #3.

Also please quote one question with 1 answer underneath it. This will be important when you answer final questions and other guides have to read it.

Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.


We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I." (refers to an exercise I gave before this one)

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Loving,

[Samanthaqqz]

Thank you for that great description and help !

What is found?

When I tell a lie, my heart and belly tighten up, feeling heavier and more constricted.

Do you see that?

yes, i see that. thank you. it is an interpretation of the sensations.


Let me try questions one and two again.

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

the one without an 'i' is truer than the other

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

A label itself doesn't affect the experience, but it describes it.

[Anastacia42]

Good. Correct.

Just for good measure. here's the pointer about labels:

Label-Reality Correlation

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’. But there isn’t. Just like it is a generally accepted belief that labels like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are inherent characteristics of ‘things’. But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Let me know what is SEEN.

Loving,