what's happing in me right now ?

[yesouisi]

Hi. This is my second post in LU. The first was in the international gate, but at the moment there is no a french speaking guide. So I am traying to get an english speaking one here ^^

My interest for non-duality started with a little book of Arnaud Desjardins [adhyatma yoga], more than five years ago. I knew more about the subject by reading books and watching videos. Also, I have approached some realised persons.

I would like to try, trying in that to be the more sincere, to see the illusion and/or to see my real nature, helped by a guide. I have no other pretention than to realise the Self. May God help me.

Thanks,
Reda 👨

[yesouisi]

up

[Turnip]

Hi Reda

I'm sorry you've waited so long for a guide. Are you still happy to go ahead in English? My French is terrible so that won't be any help!

If you're happy to go ahead, could I ask you please to complete the initial questions as shown below in bold text.

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?

What are you looking for at LU?

What do you expect from a guided conversation?

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?

You can copy and paste these questions into your post and put answers beneath them. The reason for doing this is that the direction of guiding often arises from your answers to these questions.

One or two things also for you to look at below.
1. How to use the quote function: viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660
2. Frequently asked questions: http://www.liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041
3. LU disclaimer: http://www.liberationunleashed.com/register/disclaimer/

Thank you and I look forward to starting this journey with you.

With best wishes

Tim

[yesouisi]

Hello ! You still here ?

[yesouisi]

PART (1/5)

I'll start with the last question, etc.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?

To leave a margin of doubt, I would say nine out of ten. My beliefs have changed a lot in recent months. Many old beliefs have been replaced with new, perhaps, more flexible ones. The fact remains that these are also beliefs, and therefore a priori limiting.

[yesouisi]

PART (2/5)

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?

In fact, during all these years, I have been reluctant to do spiritual exercises. I am thinking in particular of meditation. I am cautious at the time of going to the concrete. It's the truth.

As far as research is concerned, I persist in distinguishing between the genuine and the false guru. You will tell me that it is more of an investigation. No ? I read, but my readings are discontinuous over time and often I do not finish reading the books. I browse here and there, of all that, of Facebook and these contacts. Despite this apparent disorder, my understanding is slowly evolving, but still. My wife is interested in the subject and tells me about it, which helps me a bit to keep the flame burning. These are my moments of suffering that put me back on the path of spiritual quest.

As for the investigation, I want to say that I was afraid of falling into heresy for a long time, before this idea became obsolete in my mind. I am someone who is able to go out of their way to contact anyone to ask my questions. This is also true. I contacted so many people, from everywhere. I have made significant trips, but I was not necessarily ready to hear the answers. I suffered from frustrations and misunderstandings. And it continues.


À vrai dire, durant toutes ces années, j'ai été peu enclin à faire des exercices spirituels. Je pense notamment à la méditation. Je me montre frileux à l'heure de passer au concret. C'est la vérité.

Pour ce qui de la recherche, je m'obstine à faire la distinction entre l'authentique et le faux guru. Vous allez me dire que ça relève plutôt de l'enquête. Non ? Je lis, mais mes lectures sont discontinues dans le temps et souvent je ne termine pas de lire les livres. Je butine ici et là, de tous ça, de Facebook et ces contacts. Malgré ce désordre apparent, ma compréhension évolue certes lentement, mais tout de même. Ma femme s'intéresse au sujet et m'en parle, ce qui m'aide un peu à garder la flamme allumée. Ce sont mes moments de souffrances qui me remette sur le chemin de la quête spirituelle.

Pour ce qui est de l'enquête, j'ai envie de dire que j'ai longtemps eu peur de tomber dans l'hérésie, avant que cette idée ne devienne obsolète dans mon esprit. Je suis quelqu'un capable de s'efforcer à contacter n'importe qui pour poser mes questions. Ça c'est vrai aussi. J'ai contacté tellement de monde, de partout. J'ai fait des déplacements significatifs, mais je n'étais pas forcément prêt à entendre les réponses. J'ai souffert de frustrations et d'incompréhensions. Et ça continue.

[Turnip]

Hi Reda

Good to hear from you. :) When you've finished answering the initial questions, we can start!

With best wishes

Tim

[yesouisi]

Hello Tim :)

PART (3/5)

What do you expect from a guided conversation?

See my unconscious conditioning. I dare not imagine the pile of diapers I drag behind me. I already have the feeling of wearing a kind of skin that weighs me down. I would like to avoid having to replace old beliefs with new ones. I aspire to this peace which settles down permanently, there, in the background, which is already there, to make it emerge. Drop my bulky masks.

PART (4/5)

What are you looking for at LU?

I'm looking for what's already looking for me, to use Rumi's expression. I feel 'falso', so to speak. I want authenticity, to experience it, with TNT if necessary!

PART (5/5)

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?

There is only the one who observes, and it is the same for everyone. So we are all the same thing; no other so. And so, separation does not exist. It is the fruit of countless layers of identifications that instead of turning our attention inward, we have become accustomed to seeing only the surface of this phenomenal existence.

Thanks to you,

Hello Tim :)

PART (3/5)

What do you expect from a guided conversation?

Voir mes conditionnements inconscients. Je n'ose pas imaginer le tas de couches que je traine derrière moi. J'ai déjà le sentiment de porter une espèce de peau qui me pèse. Je voudrais esquiver d'avoir à remplacer les vieilles croyances par de nouvelles. J'aspire à cette paix qui s'installe durablement, là, en arrière plan, qui est déjà là, la faire émerger. Faire tomber mes masques encombrants.

PART (4/5)

What are you looking for at LU?

Je cherche ce qui est déjà entrain de me chercher, pour reprendre cette expression de Rumi. Je me sens 'falso', pour ainsi dire. Je veux l'authenticité, l'expérimenter, à coup de TNT s'il le faut !

PART (5/5)

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?

Il n'y a que celui qui observe, et c'est le même chose pour tout le monde. Donc, on est tous cette même chose, pas d'autrui. Et donc, la séparation n'existe pas. Elle est le fruit d'inombrables couches d'identifications qu'au lieu de retourner l'attention vers l'intérieur, on s'est habitué à ne voir que la surface de cette existence phénoménale.

Merci à toi,

[Turnip]

Hello Reda

Thank you for completing the initial questions. Unfortunately I am just leaving now in my campervan for 5 days holiday so you may have to wait a little for my first proper response. I will give you a proper reply when I am able.

With love

Tim

[yesouisi]

Ok.

[Turnip]

Hi Reda

Here’s something for you to explore until I get a proper internet connection again!

Look at what is happening in this moment. Here on LU we are interested in direct experience, usually avoiding ‘content of thoughts’. Could what is happening in this moment be any different from how it is? Look also to see if there is anything missing.

Please try to avoid looking at books, videos etc while we are doing this investigation as it will make it more confusing. Also, aim for 100% honesty with yourself. There are no right or wrong answers, all I’m interested in is what is arising for you. If you don’t understand a question just let me know.

With love

Tim

[yesouisi]

Hi Tim,

I don't know why, but I expected five days to pass before you answered. So I didn't pay attention to my mail.

Salut Tim,

Je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais je m'attendais à ce que cinq jours s'écoulent avant que vous ne répondiez. Je n'ai donc pas fait attention à mon courrier.

[Turnip]

HI Reda

I'm back now so here are some comments on your opening statements.

To leave a margin of doubt, I would say nine out of ten.

Commitment is needed here with daily posting when possible (please let me know in advance if you can't) but mainly with the commitment to look with honesty. Who is it who is reluctant to commit 10/10?

my understanding is slowly evolving

That sounds good but unfortunately, here there is nothing that can be understood and no-one who can understand anything.

My wife is interested in the subject and tells me about it

generally I think this is very positive as long as it doesn't lead to lots of new beliefs arising!

I am someone who is able to go out of their way to contact anyone to ask my questions. This is also true. I contacted so many people, from everywhere.

It sounds as if the seeking has been a strong impulse. In order for inquiry to work here, I would ask you to not talk to lots of others, not watch lots of videos or read books. It gets too confusing if you do. If you find that this style of committing to just this thread is not your style or too difficult, then I think it would be good not to continue here but to come back if a time comes when you are ready to just look in this one way. This is not a criticism of what you've been doing, simply a comment on what seems to work with this method.

See my unconscious conditioning.

Generally dealing with conditioning can be easier after seeing through the illusion of the separate self which is what we are aiming to point you towards here on LU.

I feel 'falso', so to speak.

Yes! Recognising this sense of wrongness or falsity can be something that drives seeking.

OK, so if you are happy with this and you have read the links I gave in my initial post, please answer the question in blue at the top of this post and also the post I sent while I was on holiday.

Good luck!

Tim :)