Calling Natasha!

[Moonlight]

Hi Natasha. Here's where we need to do some questions/answers so others can also read our conversation. Let me know when you read this!

[Moonlight]

I'm putting up a series of questions. There are no right or wrong answers, just tell me what is being experienced in as much detail as possible. Your answers will help us to see if and where there are still any 'sticky' bits to be seen through. Other guides will also be reading your answers to see if further questions are needed.

1. Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me', 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or for? Was there ever?

2. Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3. How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4. What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5. Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6. Do you have anything to add?

[Natasha khan]

Answer to question no 1:

There is no separate entity or self, just the sense of self. The sense is formless,it is in mind and it is a conditioning.It is the strongest belief among all the beliefs.No belief can be as strong as the belief in self. It is nowhere, I couldn't find it anywhere except in thought..just in thought.No one owns the system of body, mind. No one controls this system, control is not possible because there is no one to control. There is no doer, everything happening on its own involuntarily. Self is there greatest fiction.

[Moonlight]

Just to get some more clarification what you've written:

There is no separate entity or self, just the sense of self.

Is there anything real behind this 'sense of self'?

Was there a self, ever?

[Natasha khan]

No, there isn't anything real behind it because it simply doesn't exist at all.
And And there was no self ever it was only created by the society and conditioning.

[Natasha khan]

Answer to question no 2:

Illusion of self is what we think of our selves separate from this world. I used to think that I exist but actually I don't exist. It starts since childhood, like after few months of our birth, our conditioning starts, we r forced to believe in a self. It works through mind and memory.The accumulation of thoughts and related stories keeps it working. Illusion of self is a very strong sense of self, I was bewildered when I started sorting out self,because the thing which I used to believe throughout my life had no existence, no shape, nothing just a belief.

[Natasha khan]

Answer to question no 1:

I feel light and unburdened after seeing this truth. Difference is that before I was in the hell of self and now things have totally changed.Before I was self centered, I couldn't see anything else but myself but now I can see how mind creates it. All the so-called miseries were self created, which had no reality except as thoughts.As the self is not real so everything which is a byproduct of self is also not real.

[Moonlight]

I presume that was the answer to question no. 3, which was "How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days."

:)

Thank you, Natasha. You mention that "I was in the hell of self, and now things have totally changed." You also mention that now you feel light and unburdened. Is there any other difference, from before this inquiry and now, that you can feel?

[Natasha khan]

I am feeling great freedom,because all the chains belonged to the illusion of self All the insecurities, fear, pain and misery are as unreal as the sense of self. There is an increased feeling of contentment and fulfilment.

[Natasha khan]

Answer to question no 4:

The last thing which made me realize was a question asked by my guide that where are you? Can you find your self anywhere?

I was like I am my body.Then she was like where are you in the body? And I was unable to find self anywhere else except in the thought.Then I realized the fact that I does not exist at all.One thing more on which I was stuck was about emotional pain, I felt like if there's no self so who bears emotional pain.Then my guide was like, try to observe the relation btwn thought and emotion. And when I observed it I realized that the thoughts were creating related emotions and it was a random process.One random thought created the feeling of sadness and the other random thought created the feeling of happiness. Then I realized the fact that there is no I who's bearing the emotional pain, there are only thoughts which are creating the emotions and self.

[Natasha khan]

Answer no 5:

Who will choose, there is no one to choose, intend, decide or control.

Everything is happening on it's own.Body/mind is working on it's conditioned patterns

[Natasha khan]

Answer no 6:

LU did what it promised.My guide worked very very hard on me, day and night.It wasn't easy in the start but my guide made it happen.I realized the simplest truth through this process which I wasn't able to realize even after reading a lot of meditational stuff for 8 years.

[Moonlight]

Question no 5: Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

Answer: Who will choose, there is no one to choose, intend, decide or control.

Everything is happening on it's own.Body/mind is working on it's conditioned patterns

Natasha, could you give an example of how this process works?

[Natasha khan]

I go for a walk every day.When the time of walk comes, a thought comes in my mind to go for a walk. Mind orders and the body obeys. Everything is happening involuntarily and automatically.

[Moonlight]

Thank you, my dear. :)