Postby Locustafiera » Sun Jan 05, 2014 6:43 am
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me', 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is no separate, real entity 'self' anywhere and there never was. There is only an imagined entity 'self' in thought.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion of self is a belief that develops in a human that it is a distinct entity, separate from other selves and other things; an entity that owns a physical body and a 'life' - a portion of reality for which the imagined self is believed to be responsible.
No such separate 'self' entity can be found in reality - the self is in fact an idea, a belief, a fictitious element in the model of reality embedded in language.
Human beings are born as babies with no sense of self. They are normally born with a functioning set of sense organs and a few instinctive behavioural patterns, such as the suckling instinct, and crying in response to certain sensations, but otherwise no distinctions concerning the structure of reality. As the baby develops it begins to learn the cultural distinctions shared by adults in the same environment, specifically those embedded in language, which provides a common method for mapping out or modelling reality. As the baby learns a language it starts to distinguish as 'things' the real world features represented by nouns, and conventions for the way 'things' relate to other 'things' are provided by other grammatical elements of the language.
Language also features abstract nouns for which there are no concrete real world features, things such as those that fall into the categories of concept, emotion, and belief.
One such abstraction is the concept of self. The belief in self is established as the child learns language constructs that encapsulate the idea of self, such as 'I', 'me', 'mine', 'you', 'yours'.
So reality is perceived via the senses and organised by the brain using language into a mental map concerning what kinds of stuff exists and how different kinds of stuff relate to one another. Beliefs are fundamental to the mapping technology. They are a kind of thought that is soft wired into the brain's equivalent of the computer's virtual memory - they become rules in the human operating system.
The belief in self develops as the central feature of the map of reality, probably for socio-political reasons. Human societies form around morality models and pecking orders that require a belief in self in order to function. Wealth, status and power need to be attached to something, and imaginary entities need some perceived value to distinguish them from other imaginary entities, just like Santa, gods, superheroes, universities, governments, corporations etc.
Attributes such as skill and personality are assigned to the self. These attributes represent valuables worthy of protection. Free will is implicit in the self centred model - the self has to be 'in control' to be credible as a repository of valuable attributes.
And there it is. The illusion of self in all it's false glory is paraded about, accumulating illusory allies and symbols of status.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
There is an underlying or parallel stream of thought that constantly evaluates and perceives situations in a new context, from a new perspective. That new perspective is best described as 'knowledge' that the idea of self is an illusion. Thoughts of I, me and mine still occur, but they are seen for what they are, just thoughts about the imaginary self.
There is a new sense of calm and belonging. The belonging comes from the knowledge that since there is no separate self to be responsible and in control, all things must be just as they were meant to be - there is no-one and nothing to be wrong, no-one who has to be right, no-one and nothing to be accepted or rejected, no-one to screw up and nothing that needs to make an impression. And there is nothing outside of reality looking in, trying to be a part of it in the right way. It all just IS.
Thinking is happening but anything that would previously have caused emotional pain is being recognised as thought content and sensation, for example feelings that would previously have been interpreted unequivocally as personal anger or impatience or embarrassment are being perceived in this new way. It has recently become impossible to feel offended.
Communication with others is more crisp and effortless. There is more spontaneity and relaxation.
Sometimes, especially when in natural surroundings, there is a lovely and complete sense of unity with the environment, a sense of being integral to reality, rather than a lone, separate being experiencing it somewhat remotely.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
It seemed there was an initial and intense realisation that occurred on
being shown the recursive nature of inquiry, i.e. that the seeker who could not find a self was the same self that couldn't be found.
The rest of the discussion focused on removing various doubts that arose following that.
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your own experience.
There is no-one here to decide, intend, choose, control or make anything happen.
7) Anything to add?
This paragraph, an Elena quote from the Gateless Gatecrashers book, is a great summary;
'There is no separation, no entity. So all your life now this paradox is trying to resolve itself. This is the suffering - the turmoil of dissatisfaction, of seeking, of feeling incomplete, of the feeling of something missing. That's where it comes from. That's what's driving it. That, that only.'
And -
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou. This is an amazing place.
Best
LocustaFiera
