Thread for Monja Gitana

[Mad biker]

there's nothing to fail and no one to fail and that made me laugh.
Similar thing happened in meditation this morning. I'm reading Touching Enlightenment by Reggie Ray which I'm finding helpful.
Yesterday I realised that the dukkha around the stuff with my partner had lost its grip after I'd done the exercise. I checked in with myself a few times during the day and it remained quite insignificant.

Great observations there. You are really getting a handle on thoughts.

Can a thought actually do anything?

[Mad biker]

Re your comment about "meditation" above; I just want to ask you to abandon any previous notions 'about' what 'it' is and how 'it' is done, and instead move over to a more or less wholesale adoption of Reggie's whole take on things for the duration of our enquiry. (You won't lose anything and can always go back to the good bits of old models when we are through. You are looking good BTW so it will not be long now) Just let go into the body in Direct Experience as a basic background orientation.

[Mad biker]

How are things Gitana?
Mb x

[Monja gitana]

Buenos, sorry busy painting my new pad and was out of town all day today. Not sticking to my 8pm computer curfew tonight.
I don't think thoughts can do anything. They just come and go and I've got no idea where they come from.
Had a thought today about the churned stomach I often experience when I get in touch with my body. I always label it as anxiety and am often a little surprised as I may not be feeling anxious at the time. Maybe its just energy and I'm labeling it as anxiety. MG

[Mad biker]

I always label it as anxiety and am often a little surprised as I may not be feeling anxious at the time. Maybe its just energy and I'm labeling it as anxiety.

Yes! Great observations there!

Anxiety is a label. Remember that labeling exercise? (see half way down page four)

Labels are only a problem if we do not NOTICE that they are just labels.

When we name them as such we are Rumple-Stiltzkined straight back into Direct Experience where I want to ask you to dwell more and more (see DE at the top of page two)

In Direct Experience of the churning stomach (leaving labeling aside) is there actually anything more than SENSATION occcuring?
Sensation which thought then labels; 'anxiety'? Just look over that previous material I mentioned then settle yourself down with a few nice breaths there before addressing this question and reporting back.

[Mad biker]

Did you take a look at 'feel the fear and do it anyway'?
I think I detect our old acquaintance kicking around in the background for you and I want to underline how much it can be a really helpful way in here. A really great Dharma Door to Reality.
Mb x

[Monja gitana]

I'm finding lying on my bed and getting comfy and warm really helpful to begin with. I'm so used to labeling the chuned stomach as anxiety but this time I just noticed it without the labels and just as a sensation in my abdomen. I'm feeling pretty tired after a few days of painting and up and down a ladder and drifted off to sleep!! But the tiredness was just sensations of heaviness and soreness in my body.no stories attached like" gee I'm so busy, trying to get all this painting done and I'm so tired etc, etc". No resistance to the tiredness.
I'm not sure if I detect fear lurking about. Maybe a bit of existential fear.

[Mad biker]

I'm so used to labeling the chuned stomach as anxiety but this time I just noticed it without the labels and just as a sensation in my abdomen.

That's good, but how are things going with that book I mentioned? She does some useful nuts and bolts in those first few pages that I want to expand upon once you have got that down you. It has a really easygoing style that is not really 'reading' as such,and is an ideal set-up for where we are going with this, a companion reader/course reader, sort of thing but you only need the very front of it, the bit right under the cover!

Our posts are too far apart which is putting a dent in our momentum. I want to ask you to consider lifting your ban on computers post 8pm BUT ONLY TO DO OUR WORK just tune in for that alone and bugger everything else, because I have a nine to five, I can't always get enough machine-time to do justice to our dialogue at lunch time, and the time zone difference squeezes our overlap by another hour.

Off to London.
Back on Sunday.
Read the book.
Mb x

[Monja gitana]

Morning, I'm a bit confused, did you mean re read the pieces on page 2 and 4 or the book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway or both. Anyway have just re read those two pieces and settled back down. Resistance is strong this morning but Im sticking with it, being with what is there, body discomfort, sick feeling, thinking this isnt working for me and I don't want to do it anymore, waste of your time,waste of my time, better things to do on a sunny morning, what's the point of anything anyway, general bleakness. And it hasn't shifted and writing it down makes me feel worse so I'm going to go and have a coffee and eat some toast. I'm lifting my 8pm computer curfew just for this. Sorry I'm sounding like a spoilt child having a tantrum but I don't feel like engaging with this stuff right now. Will try again this afternoon. MG

[Monja gitana]

Feeling very different from how I felt this morning. Just been sitting observing sensations, no stomach churning just various sensations, thoughts arising and passing. Thoughts of not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. MG

[Mad biker]

Yes, those two wee bits plus the first few pages of ftfadia

'

body discomfort, sick feeling, thinking this isnt working for me and I don't want to do it anymore, waste of your time,waste of my time, better things to do on a sunny morning, what's the point of anything anyway, general bleakness. And it hasn't shifted and writing it down makes me feel worse so I'm going to go and have a coffee and eat some toast.

Yes I know, the Buddha was talking utter shite as usual. What he should have said was; "Look, your own True Nature is that you are a total loser who will never amount to anything" (Guffaw!) Naw! All of that stuff is absolutely par for the course of this enquiry Gitana! Many people get those sorts of responses coming up. It is just the death throes of selfhood and need not detain us here any longer than it takes to confirm that it is a very good sign, or rather a continuation of the good signs we have been getting from the start. It is just a case of turning towards it AND just LOOKING OK coffee and toast won out on this occasion as an evasion strategy. You know this happened (which is why you told me) so the next time I am more confident that you will just turn towards it in a spirit of kindliness to see what happens when you do. Just remember: 'If you always do what you always did, then you always get what you always got'.

So let's just continue to mosey along with that strategy which is plainly really getting somewhere. (You have probably got this already but I just want to clarify though, that LOOKING really means 'perceiving' rather than just using the eyes BTW)

OK

thinking this isnt working for me

To what does the word 'me' refer in the above quote?
Just look.
Mb x

[Mad biker]

We just crossed in the post there!
OK, what I said is still relevant because this kind of stuff will recur again.
Now address yourself to my last question.
Mb x

[Monja gitana]

Hola MB, the word 'me' refers to a thought about me. When I'm 'in' the thoughts and they feel so real I forget that they come and go. Not much time can often pass and things have totally changed.I'm not ' in' it anymore, they haven't ' taken me over '. Obvious I know!! MG

[Mad biker]

Hola MB, the word 'me' refers to a thought about me. When I'm 'in' the thoughts and they feel so real I forget that they come and go. Not much time can often pass and things have totally changed.I'm not ' in' it anymore, they haven't ' taken me over '. Obvious I know!! MG

This is just great!
More later.
Mb

[Mad biker]

Sorry Gitana, I am absolutely Friar Tucked and so I am off to bed. Back in the morning. Sleep well!
Mb.