Let's go!

[Ceylan]

Hey Nour,

Look at what is behind the sensations : is there a you, a separate self to which sensations happen?
Is there a you, a separate self feeling sensations?
Is there a you, a separate self observing sensations?

I cannot find a separate self, only sensation itself.
The observation question, feels a little trickier. There is an awareness of the sensation, but I think it is only thought that personalised that awareness as 'I'.

Do the same practice and answer to the same questions concerning guilt, resistance, contraction, ...

These last few days I've felt more earnest in my pursuit of truth, and have been looking at my direct experience alot more, when I can remember to stay knowingly aware.
The next time these emotions, or any other arise I will use this practice to get to the core of the experience, and not just stay stuck in the labeling process. Thank you.

When the fear of death arises, can you look directly at it without judgment, and allow it to just be there, as it is?

Yea, this is what I have been doing naturally

When you look closely at this fear of awakening, what does it seem to be protecting you from?

taking responsibility for my life. It feels like it's protecting me from death... Which I feel in essence it is ha. There will be the death of the illusion of a self.

Who is it that is afraid to die or afraid of awakening? Can you observe that 'who' without judgment?

thoughts? The personality structure that has been identified with. It has come up for me a few times over the last day or two that, there is alot of judgment in my thoughts. I can see and feel how challenging it is to see things without judgment.

You said words fall short—can you allow that to be okay, and just rest in the knowing that there is a deeper truth that cannot be captured by language?

Yes!!! There is so much that cannot even be touched by language. I am really feeling and appreciating the depth and richness of silence these days.

Is there an I which is wanting to awaken or feels lazy or these statements are just train of thoughts?

I cannot find it. They appear to be nothing more than thought accompanied by the blind belief in them.

How does resistance express itself without the label "resistance"?

It has not arisen yet. But when it does I will approach it through this lens and let you know

Thank you
Ceylan

[warissem]

Good morning

I cannot find a separate self, only sensation itself.

Good observation.

The observation question, feels a little trickier.

Here is a judgement, a thought story, do you see this?

There is an awareness of the sensation,

Yes.

but I think it is only thought that personalised that awareness as 'I'.

Here the illusion is back : do you see that the sentence above is a train of thoughts?

Do the same practice and answer to the same questions concerning guilt, resistance, contraction, ...

These last few days I've felt more earnest in my pursuit of truth, and have been looking at my direct experience alot more, when I can remember to stay knowingly aware.

It is not Your pursuit, there is no you at all.
It is just experience unfolding not Yours
There is no You to stay knowingly aware, there is only awareness aware of itself.

The next time these emotions, or any other arise I will use this practice to get to the core of the experience, and not just stay stuck in the labeling process. Thank you.

You are welcome.

When you look closely at this fear of awakening, what does it seem to be protecting you from?

taking responsibility for my life. It feels like it's protecting me from death... Which I feel in essence it is ha. There will be the death of the illusion of a self.

There was never a separate self in the first place, there is nothing substantial to lose. Has something changed when you don't believe anymore in Santa?

Who is it that is afraid to die or afraid of awakening? Can you observe that 'who' without judgment?
thoughts?

The personality structure that has been identified with. It has come up for me a few times over the last day or two that, there is alot of judgment in my thoughts. I can see and feel how challenging it is to see things without judgment.

You have got it. Do judgments change things in what is here now? Do they have influence on what is happening or are they just thoughts passing by? It is good to SEE when judgment is operating, at this very moment it ceases to operate. Don't try to resist judgment, resistance, selfing (egoic actions and reactions), just NOTICE them when they are operating. At this very moment (when catching them), light is shining on them.

You said words fall short—can you allow that to be okay, and just rest in the knowing that there is a deeper truth that cannot be captured by language?

Yes!!! There is so much that cannot even be touched by language. I am really feeling and appreciating the depth and richness of silence these days.

Great, there is no you feeling nor appreciating silence, there is no you, just an aware silence. BE IT.

How does resistance express itself without the label "resistance"?

It has not arisen yet. But when it does I will approach it through this lens and let you know

Don't think about it.

Waiting for your insights

[Ceylan]

hey Nour,

The observation question, feels a little trickier.

Here is a judgement, a thought story, do you see this?

I see this now. yes.

but I think it is only thought that personalised that awareness as 'I'.

Here the illusion is back : do you see that the sentence above is a train of thoughts?

Haha, i see now. I also see how i do that all day long with everything haha, its happening now... hahaha

It is not Your pursuit, there is no you at all.
It is just experience unfolding not Yours
There is no You to stay knowingly aware, there is only awareness aware of itself.

Haha, yes this is not My pursuit hahaa, i can never find me.
yes experience unfolding.
yes awareness just is. there is nobody to take ownership nobody being aware, simply awareness.

When you look closely at this fear of awakening, what does it seem to be protecting you from?
taking responsibility for my life. It feels like it's protecting me from death... Which I feel in essence it is ha. There will be the death of the illusion of a self.

There was never a separate self in the first place, there is nothing substantial to lose. Has something changed when you don't believe anymore in Santa?

Ha yes this is coming into focus, the absurdity of that fear ha. Life is happening, regardless of whether i am attributing it to an illusory sense or not. what is there to be afraid of? nothing will stop or change , life will still life.

Do judgments change things in what is here now? Do they have influence on what is happening or are they just thoughts passing by?

No judgments do not change a thing.

It is good to SEE when judgment is operating, at this very moment it ceases to operate. Don't try to resist judgment, resistance, selfing (egoic actions and reactions), just NOTICE them when they are operating. At this very moment (when catching them), light is shining on them.

Mmm yes i can see this thank you!

Great, there is no you feeling nor appreciating silence, there is no you, just an aware silence. BE IT.

Mmmm thank you hahah, so funny because when you point things out it is so obvious and clear. but i guess the mind is just so habituated in its way of operating, it will take a while for these patterns and habits to fade away.


Thank you
Ceylan

[warissem]

Dear Ceylan

Mmmm thank you hahah, so funny because when you point things out it is so obvious and clear. but i guess the mind is just so habituated in its way of operating, it will take a while for these patterns and habits to fade away.

I invite you to watch this video.

Are you ready for the final questions ?
Expose here any lasting doubt about the illusion of a separate self.

Best for you

[Ceylan]

Hey Nour,

I invite you to watch this video.

which video?

Are you ready for the final questions ?

I'm not sure haha. Am I?

Expose here any lasting doubt about the illusion of a separate self.

see I can't point out any doubts, and yet doubt is here, still quite loudly.

Ceylan

[warissem]

Good morning

I apologize, here is the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJQcD588g2w
I wish it will help to erase all doubts.

Nour

[Ceylan]

Hey Nour,

thank you for this video.

Ceylan

[warissem]

Good evening

Glad to hear from you. Here are questions to ponder on :

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision,
intention,
free will,
choice and control.

What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Waiting for your insights

[Ceylan]

Hey Nour

Thank you for these questions!

I will be travelling over the next week and may not have time to respond with the care I would like so you will probably hear from me on my return.

Will speak soon, thank you again for your patience and grace

Best wishes
Ceylan

[warissem]

Dear Ceylan

I wish you a nice trip, full of happiness.

Waiting for your answers.

[Ceylan]

Hey Nour,

I have returned from my travel and will be sitting with these questions over the next week, i will write to you soon.

thank you for your patience and grace
Ceylan

[warissem]

Good evening

waiting for your insights

[Ceylan]

Hey Nour,

I haven't finished the questions but thought id send them as i go.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, there are thoughts, and sensations, visual appearances, sounds, but no actual self, or separate entity. Just a bundle of sensations, visuals etc with a label(thought) that says I. No there was never ha. It is always, just this.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of a separate self is the belief in the I thought. That you are a person that goes by a name with a body and with this and that, a sense of ownership over all the different sensations and feelings, thoughts etc. person who goes through life and life happens to. A buying into what the label suggests or points to without actually looking to see that there is no thing to point to. It begins the moment you believe the ‘I’ ‘Self’ ‘me’ that your external seems to be referring to actually exists. Its starts when we are old enough to understand the concept. ‘I’ ‘Self’ ‘me’ is a concept. I'm finding it hard to see how it works. Its just an idea, a thought that is reinforced by the external and bought into. The identification with the body and thoughts instead of seeing them for what they actually are - sensations, thoughts, visual appearances etc. I cant see how it works. Feels like a blankness. or did i already answer haha

with gratitude
Ceylan

[warissem]

Good morning Ceylan

Great, waiting for the other answers. Take time for it.

Best for you

[Ceylan]

Hey Nour,

Apologies for the delay! Here are the rest of the answers

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels… at moments unremarkable, in others wonderfully peaceful., and so obvious. There is no difference, well the difference is I have seen through the seeker I can see it is The seeking that creates the seeker. I have seen clearly that I do not exist, but the old beliefs are still running in moments. When the pull into the storyline of life is strong.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I have to say I am still not entirely sure I have gone over. There is a resistance. The self is turning the seeing that the self is an illusion into its own story again. Like, I am not the I, but there is still an I that is not the I. I don't know if that will make sense?

5) Describe decision,
intention,
free will,
choice and control.

From what i have seen and understood. There isnt really decision. There is life happening. Phenomena, then follows a narration,and authorship of what has been expericenced. But the thought is usually in delay to the arising of phenomena.
Intention - hmm intention is just a thought.
Free will - im not sure what free will is? It is the illusion that we have a choice. I feel like i have free will. The ability to make a decision and choose, but also at the same time i can see there isnt any at all and these things are as illusory as the sense of self i have been identifying with all of these years.

What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience.

I am not sure what makes things happen. There are just happenings. I actually have no answers for this. Alot of blankness when I look. It's just kind of like a domino affect. The next thing happens because the thing before it happened. For example hunger comes, then you find food, you cook, you eat.

What are you responsible for?

Give examples from experience.
You are responsible for nothing. But not in a way where you neglect the things necessary for life. But those things are simply happening. The way a chicken tends to her chicks. You aren't doing it. Not responsible for it but the doing and responsibility is happening as part of the role or expression of the moment.


Nothing else to add in this moment

Thank you Nour
Ceylan