Your Assistance is Greatly Appreciated

[Silkie752]

Dear Michael,

With certainty, I can say that my very sad story has not been replaced with my very happy story as it pertains to ego. The happiness has no story whatsoever; no memories, no attachment to yesterday or tomorrow. It just IS and the happening is NOW.

Carrol, it's may be hard to accept, but all emotions are from ego, positive as negative. But when you refer to This sensation was so complete and such absolute truth» I feel this not as an emotion, but as a deep feeling:
we can label it "Causeless joy".
So, it's important to no mistake one for the other.

Since we want ego to be gone, does this mean that eventually, there will be no emotions, just " cause less joy"? My heart says, "Yes" this would be so. Rational thinking, rather than feeling, makes me question this possibility.

The entity "true self" does not exist. When I suppose no separation between myself and others, ie there is no self, there are no others, it is clear to me that all consciousness is connected. I see this as a construct though (something that I think) but I am not feeling it yet.

Wishing you peace, Carrol

[Chronophonix]

Dear Carrol

It just IS and the happening is NOW.

Yes !!

Since we want ego to be gone, does this mean that eventually, there will be no emotions, just " cause less joy"? My heart says, "Yes" this would be so. Rational thinking, rather than feeling, makes me question this possibility.

Your heart knows, your thought try to chat, put it offline !

But yes, experience learned me that «here will be no emotions» is not sure : in the path I have followed, I Worked also on the emotional content, and gradually, emotions were washed out, but for me, it took time. "Falling", in the sense that uses Ilona, can be also the arising of a big negative emotion which will break for a while the blissful state of "causeless joy" or "causeless peace". The only thing to do is to see, accept, and let go. As thought come always before emotion, you must, in this case, try to see the thought; if you see it clearly, and accept, no emotion will arise; if emotion is coming, search the thought behind.

When I suppose no separation between myself and others, ie there is no self, there are no others, it is clear to me that all consciousness is connected. I see this as a construct though (something that I think) but I am not feeling it yet.

When you observed the flower, was there any separation between you and the flower ? Or with smelling experience ?
Try with the music, listen the music not with your ears, but with all your being; you will discover that you can't listen and thought at the same time. The slightest thought stop the natural flowing of the music.
You have seen, felt no-duality, a kind of prelude to liberation, but it seems it has been a temporary experience (cf Ed Muzika) and now, the Work must go on.

You say you don't feel the no-separation, the consciousness connection, so, do you feel separation ? Is the other really one "other", separated from you ? The criteria is simple : the "other" is first a thought, then an emotion; the "other" can hurt you, dislike you, embarass you, scare you, when the "other" is here, you can feel akward, worried, insecure, you can be scared, annoyed, angry, and so on. Have you still such emotions ?
Do you still need to be somebody for anyone else ? To be special ? To be recognized ? Is it important for you to feel worthy to others ? If you answer yes to one or more of these questions, it's your "I" which is concerned. Only a "I" can feel the separation. So, when you have wrote «Me or I in the traditional sense of the word has never and will never exist. Of this I am sure and of this, I am absolutely ecstatic.», was it a thought or a feeling ? It appeared for me as a feeling, but as you say now you are not feeling the illusion of separation, tell me; but I say it again, the criteria is simple : is there an emotion ?

The no "I" is not a concept, it's a feeling, a vision, and so, we come back to the main point : do "I" exists ? Feel the question, don't think it !

Dear Carrol, feel in peace
Yours
Michael

[Silkie752]

Dear Michael,

A realization has occurred. By stopping the automatic mind from answering questions, I become aware of the consciousness first, and draw my focus to that. The perspective is changed.
1) the awareness that consciousness is all that is comes very easily, like the experiencing with the flower. No "I", just is. The I is just a thought; the consciousness is the feeling.
2) the answers to the questions I pose, including those questions from you, are answered very simply and without the back and forth involving rational thought processes. The answers are more intuitive and are simply known rather than rationalized.

This was a good lesson.

I experienced the music for the first time in my life this morning with my favorite song. The words become sounds, no more words, no more thoughts about the words; there was more music than I have ever heard before. It was a dance in my senses and the joy was overwhelming. Simply breathtaking experience. Afterwards, I found a song I didn't like and was amused that it no longer had the same affect on me (wanting to turn it off!). Not as nice as the previous experience, but nice. Just rhythmic sounds moving up and down; no words, no thoughts just sound dancing around. Thank you for guiding me to this experience. It was an awakening of perception.

You listed emotions which I no longer experience: no anger, no scaredeness, no worry, no self value feelings, no judgement of others. I had one experience of agitation recently (someone was to care for my chickens in my absence and didn't) but it arose out of concern for the animals and I quickly "observed" the agitation and it immediately disappeared. I am very content with myself and this is in itself a new experience. My awareness of others conscious state is heightened and notice the difference with my own; they seem to have a constant dialogue of "I thinks", "she did", " he didn't" and then lots of emotions and judgements.

The no "I" is not a concept, it's a feeling, a vision, and so, we come back to the main point : do "I" exists ? Feel the question, don't think it !. No Michael, I do not exist. "I" is just a thought.

Peace to you my friend, Carrol

P.S. I have read a bit more deeply into Muzika; some journeys are very log indeed :)

[Chronophonix]

Dear Carrol

All your message sounds very good, nothing to say more :)

I felt so happy for you after reading your description of real listening to music. So, I have a gift for you : a 30' improvisation recorded several years ago with myself on keyboards, and voice by Susan Belling : Blue Meditation
It's more comfortable to download it first,(right click, then save as) but you can listen it on line.

Ah Carrol, I have to ask you again : have you a facebook account ? You will need one if you wish to share on the aftercare group, or offer to help.

So I will tell you tomorrow the advice from LU, it seems to be OK.

Much love
Michael