I am that I am

[opodaniel]

I took it for a walk. It felt like space walk. Like walking in a sphere. Interesting way of perceiving.
I also see when other things come about, this can be applied to. Like a sensation in the body - where do I end and it starts? Or a sound: where it ends and I start? Very nice playground to play in.

Thanks for directing me to allow myself to explore.
With love Daniel

[Anastacia42]

Excellent. Can you find any separate "self? "

Loving,

[opodaniel]

Can you find any separate "self? "

Yes I can find, it is in the story. The mind borrows this or that sensation, emotion and assume a unity then says I, Me, Mine.
While walking, when absent minded, thought say - I walk.
If I watch, there are sensations alternating, the word walk is imprecise, doesn't know and doesn't describe correctly. Sensations come and go. When I stay long enough in the felt sense is unclear what does what. Is feet pushing or earth pushing. It is just denser and less denser sensation. The mind insists that this happens to a me. My child sleeping doesn't have the possibility to look, feel this sensations but I can describe them here. But then again, if there is a Me, where is it? So I sit on the chair while typing, there is a sensation felt on the body. I see the density in some parts and try to see the separation from me, none can be found, the Me is not where density is, it is not dense. It feels that the density is more real than the Me. Actually the Me is assumed.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. How does it feel to see all of this?

Loving

[opodaniel]

It feels like floating.

[Anastacia42]

Excellent. We're looking for a shift in perception just like that.

From an email from Ilona

Nothing dramatic happened.

There were no fireworks.
No permanent bliss states.
No sudden personality changes.

And yet, something shifted.


Here are a few things people said afterwards:

“I’m not fighting my experience anymore. There’s more space around everything.”

“I expected something big to happen. Instead, life feels simpler and I trust myself more.”

“There’s less urgency. The seeking has softened.”


This is the kind of shift this work supports.

Ilona Cuinate

Actually the Me is assumed.

Can you say 100% there is no separate "self?"



Loving

[opodaniel]

Can you say 100% there is no separate "self?"

Separate from what?
Is it separate from walk? It is not since walk and self are words, black color written here in post.
Does it exist a self in the experience? Of course, in the mind.
Is it permanent ? No, just la breathing, when you inhale the exhale is nowhere to be found. When exhale happen there is no inhalation. Selfing comes on different situation. When I talk to my child, things assemble to make a father. I don't know how, but it does, and express that. Same when I am with my mother, things assemble as a child and talk as a son.
It is a flow.

What you wrote as experiences feel correct.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. Then I'll ask differently.

Can you say 100% there is no "self?" (except in your thinking.)

Loving

[opodaniel]

In this case, I cannot find a Self/Me in the direct experience.

[Anastacia42]

Good. How does that FEEL?

Loving,

[opodaniel]

How does that FEEL?

It feels liberating.
Nothing to worry comes to mind.

[Anastacia42]

feels liberating.
Nothing to worry comes to mind.

Good. That's the type of shift in perception we're looking for.

We have some traditional questions for you. Your replies will be shared with other guides who may have questions.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Loving

[opodaniel]

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

From what I see these are construction of the mind. The live experience of presence don't need labels.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

In order to navigate life, the mind needs boundaries, need something solid. There is some kind of collaboration between the mind and the body which makes the body contract when the thoughts/projections happen. As a result the thoughts are accompanied with something real - a sensation in the body. The repetition of thought and associated contractions give a sense of familiarity. That makes the mental projection "real". Another aspect of this separation is the capacity to remember, which glue multiple experiences together. There is also the fact that at some point we stop looking and start remembering. While this looks like same same, it is different. Everything changes and that is happening all the time, when one relies on memory, that is abstract, dead, lacks vibrancy, fake. Labels are not the things they point to, neither the label "I" , "Me", "Mine". When does this selfing starts? When it is needed, when the mind starts a process, then selfing appears. Is something practical that the mind use to build around. It's like the structure of a building.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels liberating. One less thing to worry about. No more need to make things appear in a bright light. The difference from before I started this dialogue is that when mind starts selfing, it is seen and it keeps on pedaling less and less (yet it still starts and has some momentum). When I see it happening I look around to see who is talking to who. And then the mind relaxes. Unfortunately no fireworks and I didn't see the honeymoon starting, but the fact that I have less I and Me thoughts is relaxing giving space to look around. During the night and when I wake up, the mind keep selfing but it is usually nonsense. There's one more thing: this last 2 days I got a really strong solar plexus ache. No victim story, no projections, just an ache. Today it didn't came.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I think the exercises made more and more contact with the direct experience. There was also the image of gate-less gate and the apple exercise. I was going in this direction for some time now. I was seeing some strange thoughts and experiencing the mindless walk or mindless drive and wondering how is it possible to move about not knowing what happened between point A and point B.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

I don't know what decision is. It must be the most probable think to do, and if it happens and you agree with what happens it is a decision, if not it is an accident. I really don't know. I think it is a flow thing and the mind selfing is identifying with a decision maker and says Me, I took this decision, I chose to do. Could it been different?

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

This also must be something from the mind. There is what it is, and the mind wants something different and it uses words to describe what it wants and call it intention. Like wanting to be free, make a mental note "i want to be free" then start a sitting meditation. How can one intent something one don't know? Imagination for sure and refurbish sensations.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Free will - should be the imagined ability to do something without constraints. Who's constraints? Mind's constraints? For sure one need some constraints. Could one be free from the air one needs to breath or the food one need to ingest? I think there is something wrong with this concept. I don't know anybody who run from society in order to be free from the rules/regulation and other social constraints. I don't know what to say from my experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Choice should be the possibility to chose between x, y, z. Like now, is late, i could continue writing or go to bed. So what would be choice? The body is tired, and want's the sweetness of the bed and there's a no need to continue this exercise. I continue although my desire would be to go to bed. Hmm, is choice the result of the fight between desire and decision. I don't know.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

Control of what? Control of the body, or thoughts, emotions or sensations? Who is in control? Can control be without a doer? I control if I type, I control to remove some letters. It doesn't make sense. The experience is so complex that I don't know what control means and what it is referring too. What to control? How strong the key is pressed, how heavy the hand, how long is the finger kept on the key? The order of thoughts that trigger the automatic typing? The tone of the flow of thoughts? I do not know what to say, and this is from this now experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

:D. I do not know what makes things happening. It works wonderful and so diverse and so radiant ( i took it but , when you see the continual emission of sense in sensations... don't know a better word).

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

What I am responsible for? I guess I am responsible to not be an ass-whole and too look, and explore what is here.

6) Anything to add?
It made me so tired to do this exercise. i don't know what to say. I didn't discover the wholes in the Swiss cheese, nor the slice bread or the whiteness of the milk.

[Anastacia42]

Daniel. Another guide asks:

He suggests "Hmm, is choice the result of the fight between desire and decision. I don't know. ".

Look closely at a recent example: is there actually a fight, or are there thoughts, and sensations arising, followed by an action (also sensations and thoughts)?

What is the difference between desire and decision in DE?

Can you find either of them as something real and separate from thoughts and sensations, or are they labels describing what appears to happen?

When writing continues instead of going to bed, is there an actual choice being made? Or is there simply writing happening, followed by thoughts explaining it as a decision made despite a desire?

Thank you,

[opodaniel]

Look closely at a recent example: is there actually a fight, or are there thoughts, and sensations arising, followed by an action (also sensations and thoughts)?

No fight, there could not be any fight, just thoughts and sensations arising in succession. Cannot find how it is created and who decide the succession. Seems spontaneous.

What is the difference between desire and decision in DE?

I don't see any distinction, they are both labels used by the mind to name bundles of sensations and thoughts.

Can you find either of them as something real and separate from thoughts and sensations, or are they labels describing what appears to happen?

I don't have them "chasing me" so from this Here Now perspective they are just labels.

When writing continues instead of going to bed, is there an actual choice being made? Or is there simply writing happening, followed by thoughts explaining it as a decision made despite a desire?

You described it so beautifully. I saw the want to go to bed, then something more subtle came ... let's write and finish this. I could not see the decision, there was no barrier saying this is one, there is the other, just a flow from one to the other. Writing happened, with words coming one after the other.

Anyway the good news is if things flow naturally there is no need for selfing to come and fight (in the head) and change. There is nothing to change. What was done is done and one can enjoy/explore what is here, now.