I am that I am

[opodaniel]

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

At some point the I seems to be forced upon. True is a word, both experience were felt, there is no true or untrue, just experience and ways of looking.

2. What is here without labels?

Space, here, now. Once you hammer the experience by writing it down, the space is making it's appearance or it is easier to view.By space I mean, a felt sense around the experience.

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

I feel like labels affect the experience by limiting it. The experience is so much more, one little fragment is cut out, analyzed and written down. That is partial and say nothing about what is.

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

When exploring using the I label there was contraction, the body felt contracted. Any contraction in the body felt like being added to other contractions. It was like all is related to this written I, the story of the I, how it felt this sensation or that sound, how it felt this and that contraction.

Without using the I it felt more relaxed, it felt like an exploration, and an opening. Yes, every experience was an invitation to look, to see more, it was vast. The contractions came and were followed by relaxations, there was just experience like waves of the sea or a lake, felt less intense and duration was shorter. At some point the body was so relaxed that dullness appear and an invitation to sleep. Interesting.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. Let's do a couple of pointers.

Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.


We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I." (refers to an exercise I gave before this one)

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Loving,

[opodaniel]

When I lie to myself I tent to create a bubble like thingy. The sensation is not always the same. A few times it was the tongue pushing up the palate or down the floor of the mouth. Another time it felt like the eyes were contracting, like trying to read a small text. One need to make a self to lie, need to create separation.

I didn't feel it in my solar plexus. Should I dig more?

[Anastacia42]

I didn't feel it in my solar plexus. Should I dig more?

Possibly, yes.

It's not digging. It's awareness of your body. Work on that & we will move on.

Label-Reality Correlation

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with something called "reality." But there isn’t. Just like it is a generally accepted belief that labels like "good" and "bad" are inherent characteristics of "things." But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN’, what is the actual experience?

Is the red color "experienced" or is color green "experienced" as the label suggests?

Do the labels have a one-to-one correspondence with "reality?"

Or do the labels suggest something else other than what is here now (red color)?

Is green-ness an inherent attribute of the "experience" of the red color; or is green just a word label on the experience of the red color?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’, is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Does redness become "good" or "bad," or do the labels have no effect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

[/color]
Loving,

[opodaniel]

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN’ , what is the actual experience?

I experience Red, but I feel a contraction.

Is the red color "experienced" or is color green "experienced" as the label suggests?

The seen color is red.

Do the labels have a one-to-one correspondence with "reality?"

No, they don't have a one-to-one correspondence.

Or do the labels suggest something else other than what is here now (red color)?

They suggest something else, a different color.

Is green-ness an inherent attribute of the "experience" of the red color; or is green just a word label on the experience of the red color?

No, and the mind tries to impose green as label says while the direct experience is red. So green is just a word label on the experience of the red color.

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’, is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

The redness is not effected, just the mind, is not struggling when reading.

Does redness become "good" or "bad," or do the labels have no effect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

The redness is not affected at all.

[Anastacia42]

Exactly. "Self" is the same way - just a label.

Okay, try this one:


Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Loving,

[opodaniel]

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Thoughts describe imagination, projections.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

There is color and shape. Apple is a thought

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

Apple cannot be found in actual experience

However, is an apple actually known?

There is direct experience and knowing, apple can be known as a thought.

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

I found that I project a lot, I could have answered yesterday, but the thoughts and mind projections came strong this last 2 days. So much mind and projections. It feels like 2 steps back.

Thanks :)

[Anastacia42]

You're doing fine. Notice that "self" is like çapple.."

Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Loving,

[opodaniel]

How is the movement controlled?

It happens. There is intention, but at some point it looks like it moves by itself.

Does a thought control it?

Thought doesn't control the hand, only describes the movement.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No controller can be located.

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

The thought is slower than the movement. The decision feels inhabit in the hand, it feels natural, like a flow. The consciousnesses feels it come after, it observes but is not involved.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

It must be the habit. It was not a thought for sure.

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

I cannot find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down. I tried different speeds, but I cannot find the decider, the one who moves it.

[Anastacia42]

Good. How does it FEEL to see this?

Loving

[opodaniel]

How does it FEEL to see this?

A little bit paradoxical, spacious and it feels normal. There's no thought narrating what I see.
Hand moves, eyes see, body feel.

[Anastacia42]

spacious

Excellent.

This is the only pointer Ilona gave me when I was guided here. i practiced this for about 3 months. I call it:

ButtChair

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?


It is simple direct & nonverbal. Just LOOK.

Then write what is true.

Loving,

[opodaniel]

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

There is no border, just the sensation. And is so interesting: the sensation doesn't say anything about my butt form or size. There is the sensation and that's it. I can look at it, and cannot see where one start and the other begin.

[opodaniel]

While sitting I use to look at the hand standing in the other hand. There's no way to know where one start and the other end. Just a "generator" of sensation.

[Anastacia42]

Perfect. Meditating on that can open you to seeing there's is no separate self.

We'll do this for a while. Please report here each day.

Loving