Looking for a way out...

[Nasarat]

Yot got it right. I understand thing on an intellectual level. Though the more I find about the "no self" the more I see,that I know nothing,not even on an intellectual level. I see, that it's impossible to understand it, while not being awakened. So I suggest you just ask me direct question to see from all point of views at illusion of the separate me till seeing happens.

[Nasarat]

I find it easier to see, when asked specific question for example: what is the "I"? sounds very abstrakt to me, i hardly can put it in words, you know

[Nasarat]

Think I found the main stucking point here. It's that I can't accept, that I don't exist. I mean,when you say: there is no separate entity here, I got it, as if there is unseparate entity, but not that I'm not existing at all. Mind simply can't accept it. Don't know why?(if that makes any sense )

[hansjager]

Great answers. Really, I mean it. They give a good indication on what to do next.

Your last statement is a good one to look at. You say "Don't know why?". Why is not important. You can ask all the why's after liberation if you want to. But there is a clear and direct way to get to liberation and that is what you need. Let's get there and "worry" about the other stuff then.

There's one question I feel is important here: do you really want this? Answer with total honesty.

[Nasarat]

100% Yes.

[hansjager]

Good. :) So what about your concerns? I'm not telling you to eliminate them. But can you set them aside long enough for us to go through this process?

[Nasarat]

Not sure what do you mean, all I can say, I'll do my best, let's try, we have nothing to loose apart our chains, my friend

[hansjager]

Great! So lets take this moments. Let's see where you're at with this at this very moment. Just describe it all. Feel free to write a book if you have to. :)

All I want is that you leave your past teachings behind. They're getting in your way. You've studied stuff, created assumptions and ideas, your head is full with things you really don't need.

So clear your head and write. Explain. Rant. Whatever comes up, write it down. Then we'll go for tracing a path right to liberation.

[Nasarat]

My mind is empty now. Don't know what to write.... Gone to watch news

[hansjager]

My mind is empty now. Don't know what to write.... Gone to watch news

You're avoiding again. That's why I asked you the question if you truly want this. I didn't believe your answer. Yes, you might want it, but you cannot tell me there's nothing coming up that makes you run and hide.

Be honest. Completely honest. Otherwise I can't help you.

[Nasarat]

Ok,hansjager. You have your own opinion and I have mine. Let me tell you I don't have a glue, what you are talking about. My answer was completely honest. Sorry, if it's not fitting your frame,mate. It seems, that you think your way should work 100% right now and if not, here jugments coming. Hmm.... Well, I don't want to argue or write novels here. I think I lost my motivation working with you.

[Freddi]

Hello Nasarat
My name is Fred, and I would be happy to help you in this investigation, if you would like that.
Hans has stopped guiding for a while.
I will read your thread so far and come back to you.
Warm wishes,
Fred

[Freddi]

Hello again Nasarat
I have read the thread and feel it could be a good idea to go right back from the beginning, and look at expectations together.
How do you feel about this?
Fred

[Nasarat]

Hi Fred
Many thanks for your assistance. I really appreciate it.
I will make every effort to keep my answers focused on your questions with total honesty.
Yes I am in agreement we look at expectations.
Let's start.

As far as my expectations go, I haven't many really. Or maybe I have and just don't know it yet.
I would like as I stated before to feel more at home and to see through the illusion of self. Be able to go through the ups and downs of life on a more even ground. I expect to obtain freedom, to experience freedom, to fully see things as they are without judgement, blame, or anything. I hope, that I can see how holding on to a narrow view of self is contributing to my suffering or at least be wiser from the experience of trying.

Thanks again Fred and thanks for the quick response,
Nasarat

[Freddi]

Hello Nasarat

Glad you’re still here!

I expect to obtain freedom, to experience freedom - I would like as I stated before to feel more at home

Tell me, in your own words and your own time: what would ‘obtaining, experiencing freedom’ be like? And what would ‘feeling at home’ be like? Remember we are not interested in teaching material here, nor what you feel I want to hear. Just a description, as plain as it comes.

I would like you to have a look at the following list, which is from the FAQ section of our site. It deals with expectations. Contemplate each of these one by one, Nasarat, let them work their way through, observe any reaction, and let me know what comes up. Maybe sensations in the body? Fears? Desires? Maybe some release? Maybe nothing for some of them?

———————
Liberation Unleashed is not ...
Throughout the years our many guides have discovered that one of the major obstacles to the direct, clear seeing of what is already magnificently the case is a thick layer of expectations and narrative about a self’s journey towards enlightenment, built up by years and years of seeking. Getting these expectations out in the open and out of the way is an important first step. Below is a list explaining what the LU process is not:

This is not a way to escape your daily life.
This is not about gaining something extra, becoming something special.
This is not about cultivating an altered state of consciousness.
This is not a trick of the mind, or twisting the mind into believing certain thoughts.
This is not about gaining a particular bit of knowledge.
This is not about having a certain thought or sequence of thoughts.
This is not about becoming a holy, good, moral or better person.
This is not a belief, religion, or a philosophy, it not magical or mystical.
This is not going to lead you to eternal peace and happiness, it is not about happiness.
This is not about freedom from emotions and intense feelings.
This is not about getting rid of self, ego, I.
This is not a solution to problems in relationships.
This is not a way to get free of depression or other diseases.
This is not about stopping thoughts, changing thoughts, getting rid of thoughts.
This is not a way to make the story of you disappear.
This is not about convincing you of anything.
This is not something that will lead to accumulation of money or things.
This is not a self improvement program.
———————

Take your time, and be as detailed as you like. There are no right or wrong answers here.

Warm wishes,

Fred