Nothing comes up, Sarah. I've looked at each one of the above questions and cannot find anything.Anything else you want to discuss? Anything else that needs looking at? Anymore uncertainty? Anymore questions? Anymore seeking? Anymore waiting for …..?
There is no separate entity self/me or I “operating” this organism or operating in this organism. There has only ever been an assumption of a separate self entity constructed by “I” thoughts and conditioned thoughts presuming an “I”.1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
What is seen is the deep conditioning that there is an “I” that lives in this particular body , “owns” thoughts, feelings and to some extent controls the body and the body’s movement. This “I” assumes responsibility for what goes on (thoughts, feelings, physical action). The sense of this “I” is maintained through “I” thoughts and thoughts that take the “I’s” existence for a given and also claim ownership of the sense perceptions of the body (“I” see, hear, smell, touch) . The “I” is a construct that is habitual and resurrected again and again. It is not constant, however, and there are many periods during a day when there are just activities performed, thinking happening, talking happening, with no “I” or even much of a sense of “I”.2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
It feels spacious and lighter, somehow. There is a sense of relaxation and ease. The “process” here seems to have triggered a lot of beliefs and filters of the illusory “I”, and also beliefs / expectations about what it is to see “no self” and how it would be experienced. It’s like something had to run its course until it was seen for what it was; stories, labels, “I” identification. It is also as if something has been “stripped off” (filters?) which makes experience more direct. This morning, I sat for a little while in my garden in the sun before going to work, and noticed that there was an aliveness to everything. The birdsong is one thing, but it also applied to the wood planks of the terrace, an old shoe…… Sticky thoughts are still playing “old favourites”, but not much. And it’s mostly just looked at with little or no attaching of any “I”. I’ve been laughing a lot today. My boss passed me in the corridor and asked “What’s the joke?” :) .3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
The last bit was the sense of spaciousness embracing all the “blah, blah, blahs ..” . It was on April Fool’s day :) . It felt like a great relief, a burden lifted. Your metaphor about reflections in a mirror, Sarah, is a good way to put it. Lots of thoughts and activity, but no stickiness. Just what is happening.4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Life lives itself. This body moves and acts, thoughts are thought, bodily sensations appear without any controller or “I”. Decisions are made. The “I” ownership of them is “after the fact”. The same with intentions. So free will, choice and control for an “I” is illusory.5)can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience
6) Anything to add?
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