Please turn the light on

[nonaparry]

Hi Susan,

sorry I don`t understand how to use the quote function.

To use the quote function, select Full Editor under the Quick Reply, Copy the bit you wish to quote, then click Quote along the top of the reply box, and last Paste. That will put the bit to be quoted between the quote and /quote tags.

The body that is known by my name with all it`s functions, memory, emotions...would be afraid.

Really?
Which part of the body would be afraid? Check it. Would the hand be afraid? The nose? Would the foot be afraid? The kidney or spleen? The bones?

There is something connected to the body that is `I `and I have no idea what that actually is.
...this something that I can`t locate but it`s clearly driving my every day life...

Connected how? By a leash? A golden thread? Invisible rays? LOOK for the "I" that is connected to the body; how do you KNOW there is one if you can't even locate it? HOW is this invisible unfindable object driving life?

It`s so hard to put into words! And when I sit here trying to capture it it`s even harder as my mind just goes blank.

Susan, is it possible that "I" cannot be located, found, described, because it's just not there?
If I asked you to look for your cell phone, would you have any trouble looking for it? No — you would just look and either you would see it or you wouldn't. I'm asking you to look for this "I". If it truly drives your life, don't you think it's got to be there somewhere? And if it cannot be found, what then does that say about this mysterious "I"?

the `I`that I can`t locate is trying to look beyond and get a sense of what you are pointing to. It is clearly trying to keep in control.

The "I" cannot keep control; it doesn't have any control to begin with! Check it!! Is there anything in your experience over which you have control? For sure?

There is a sense of something totally still and unmoving that is not contrary to life going on on it`s own. There is a deep longing to get there. It is not unreachable. It is as if it`s right there all the time, but if I loose the focus it`s going to vanish.

You can't get there; you already are there. The deep longing is due to the mistaken identification with something that is not actually "you".
If this "I" were actually you, wouldn't you be able to find it somewhere in your experience? If it has control and drives your life, wouldn't it show up somehow somewhere?

Do this: Look around the room, noticing what is present. Walls, check! Floor, check! Furniture, check! Computer, check! Body, check! You… you… you… where is a "you"? At all?
What is LOOKing for you? Can it be "you" if it's looking for "you"?

love
Nona

[besupax]

I can see how life is just unfolding - despite of me-, but what is the force that changes my perception of reality by means of thoughts and emotions thus causing me to react accordingly (e.g. seeking, coming to this forum...)?

I will answer your other questions in detail tonight. Don`t have time right now. Thanks!

Susan

[besupax]

[quote]Do this: Look around the room, noticing what is present. Walls, check! Floor, check! Furniture, check! Computer, check! Body, check! You… you… you… where is a "you"? At all?
What is LOOKing for you? Can it be "you" if it's looking for "you"?
[/quote]

[besupax]

Looks like I still need to invest some time to figure out the Quote function.

When I look around the room I can check off the walls, the floor, the furniture and so on. I can also check off people when they are present, but only because I label everything with a name. How I can I be sure there is a wall and what is a wall anyway (what is it made of in the tiniest parts?). The question that arises for me is, would there still be a wall or a person, a rock, water, landscape or whatever else if nobody (like no human being)were here to witness reality?

So, I can say that through my eyes I can see parts of my body in a room. I can`t locate me, my mind, my emotions, my senses, my ego or my memory. All I can say is that something that I perceive as me is seeing parts of my body in a room.

What is looking at the wall, the computer...?

Susan

[besupax]

[quote]Connected how? By a leash? A golden thread? Invisible rays? LOOK for the "I" that is connected to the body; how do you KNOW there is one if you can't even locate it? HOW is this invisible unfindable object driving life?[/quote]

I can`t see energy frequencies, but I know that my cell phone or computer will only work with them. The connection between my body and the thing I can`t see, but call I must be something similar. It`s beyond my capacity to perceive it. I can`t locate it with the senses I have accessible through my body.

Susan

[besupax]

The "I" cannot keep control; it doesn't have any control to begin with! Check it!! Is there anything in your experience over which you have control? For sure?

Looking at some small details, I feel like I am in control, deciding all sorts of small events. Do I get up in the morning or do I stay in bed, do I eat or not... . In a bigger picture it`s obvious that I have no control over my life as I don`t control my body functions, meaning I could drop dead any moment.

Susan

[nonaparry]

Hi Susan,

I can`t see energy frequencies, but I know that my cell phone or computer will only work with them. The connection between my body and the thing I can`t see, but call I must be something similar. It`s beyond my capacity to perceive it. I can`t locate it with the senses I have accessible through my body.

The "I" drives life over a 4G connection? What runs the 4G connection?
Where is the remote "I" located?
What is it?
How does it drive life?
What is its function, its purpose?

When I look around the room I can check off the walls, the floor, the furniture and so on. I can also check off people when they are present, but only because I label everything with a name.

You label what you observe through the senses with a name; you also label what you cannot observe through the senses: "I, me, self", energy frequencies.

How I can I be sure there is a wall

You can't. But if you try to walk through it, you will probably bruise the body.
For the purposes of inquiry, we have to rely on something, otherwise there is no point at all to inquiring. What I suggest we rely on is the observation of the senses. Why? Because sensations are less liable to be invented than thoughts, concepts. Because the illusion of a separate self is created by thought, and is seen through in direct experience — which is sensation-prior-to-thought.

So, I can say that through my eyes I can see parts of my body in a room. I can`t locate me, my mind, my emotions, my senses, my ego or my memory. All I can say is that something that I perceive as me is seeing parts of my body in a room.

What is the "me" that sees parts of a body in a room? What is it? Where is it? How do you KNOW it's a "me"?

In a bigger picture it`s obvious that I have no control over my life as I don`t control my body functions, meaning I could drop dead any moment.

Good to be aware!

Looking at some small details, I feel like I am in control, deciding all sorts of small events. Do I get up in the morning or do I stay in bed, do I eat or not...

Describe in detail a decision of a small event, for example getting up. How does the decision happen? Does a self come in and take over, weighing pros and cons, looking at possible consequences? Or does getting up just happen, or not, as part of the flow of life?

love
Nona

[besupax]

Hi Nona,

first of all I want to thank you for making the time and effort to help me with this. I get the impression that this might take a while with me here. Is there a time limit after which people are send away as hopeless cases?

For the purposes of inquiry, we have to rely on something, otherwise there is no point at all to inquiring. What I suggest we rely on is the observation of the senses. Why? Because sensations are less liable to be invented than thoughts, concepts. Because the illusion of a separate self is created by thought, and is seen through in direct experience — which is sensation-prior-to-thought.

Senses - okay I understand. Touch, smell, sight, taste and hearing? Did I forget anything?

Where is the remote "I" located?
What is it?
How does it drive life?
What is its function, its purpose?

Other than the body which I agree is not I, the I can`t be touched, smelled, seen, tasted or heard. `I`seems to drive life only through thoughts and emotions. (Thoughts and emotions are labels that are sticked on top of the present moment - that`s how I perceive it. Thoughts and emotions are causing a reaction.)

What is the "me" that sees parts of a body in a room? What is it? Where is it? How do you KNOW it's a "me"?

If I rely on my senses only than there is no me in the room that sees parts of my body. There is only looking, without a me.

Describe in detail a decision of a small event, for example getting up. How does the decision happen? Does a self come in and take over, weighing pros and cons, looking at possible consequences? Or does getting up just happen, or not, as part of the flow of life?

The body awakes from the night. It lays in bed. I is nowhere perceivable through the senses in the room. Then what makes the body get up in the morning? (The only possible answer: The body gets up by itself, just as it breaths by itself, but that is contrary to my experience, as with thoughts I decide whether or not to stay in bed.) Another example: This body sits in front of the computer, trying to find answers to your questions. The `I `is nowhere to be found. Who is typing the answers into the computer? Thoughts floating by, fingers typing them into the computer?

Susan

[nonaparry]

Hi Susan,

Is there a time limit after which people are send away as hopeless cases?

Nope; not as long as you are sincerely looking!

Senses - okay I understand. Touch, smell, sight, taste and hearing? Did I forget anything?

No; that's all of them. Notice the difference between what you 'know' from sensation and what you 'know' from thinking.

Where is the remote "I" located?
What is it?
How does it drive life?
What is its function, its purpose?

Other than the body which I agree is not I, the I can`t be touched, smelled, seen, tasted or heard. `I`seems to drive life only through thoughts and emotions. (Thoughts and emotions are labels that are sticked on top of the present moment - that`s how I perceive it. Thoughts and emotions are causing a reaction.)

Good.
Now you've written "I" seems to drive life only through thoughts and emotions. How does that work? Does "I" actually drive life at all? Or is the seem-ing just a thought about how life works? Check it!
In sensation-prior-to-thought, are there thoughts and emotions? Or do thoughts and emotions show up after sensation? As you go about your day, check when thoughts and emotions arrive.

What is the "me" that sees parts of a body in a room? What is it? Where is it? How do you KNOW it's a "me"?

If I rely on my senses only than there is no me in the room that sees parts of my body. There is only looking, without a me.

Do this exercise. For ten minutes, write everything that is happening here and now, using the usual form of language: I am sitting in a chair typing, I am blinking my eyes, I am breathing, I am reading what is on the screen.
Then, for another ten minutes, switch to a different way of describing what's happening, dropping the I: Sitting, typing, blinking, breathing, reading.
Notice any differences in how the body feels while writing these descriptions. Does one way feel more true?

Describe in detail a decision of a small event, for example getting up. How does the decision happen? Does a self come in and take over, weighing pros and cons, looking at possible consequences? Or does getting up just happen, or not, as part of the flow of life?

The body awakes from the night. It lays in bed. I is nowhere perceivable through the senses in the room. Then what makes the body get up in the morning? (The only possible answer: The body gets up by itself, just as it breaths by itself, but that is contrary to my experience, as with thoughts I decide whether or not to stay in bed.)

I want you to look very carefully. IS that contrary to the direct experience of your senses?? Or is it only contrary to your belief that you decide?
Describe in detail how you "decide with thoughts". At what point, exactly, is a decision actually made? What makes the decision?

Another example: This body sits in front of the computer, trying to find answers to your questions. The `I `is nowhere to be found. Who is typing the answers into the computer? Thoughts floating by, fingers typing them into the computer?

More correctly, what is typing the answers? There is no who. Thoughts happen, typing happens; is it under your control? Check it!
Can you control thoughts? Can you control the fingers?
If you control thoughts, don't think of a pink frosted cake with candles on it.
How did that work?
Where do thoughts come from? Check it! Can you have a half a thought? Or does a thought simply show up full-blown, all at once?

love
Nona

[besupax]

Hi Nona,

just spend the whole night filling in forms for immigration purposes. No strength left for the big `homework`you gave me.

Hope I can do them tomorrow.

Just notice that a happiness is creeping up on me unexpectedly all the time. Like Christmas is around the corner and I sense that there are great presents waiting for me! Trying to focus on not using `I`when going about the daily chores. Changes perception totally, but only when I stay focused. Nothing permanent - just like a brand new mind set.

Good night!
Susan

[nonaparry]

Hi Susan,

just spend the whole night filling in forms for immigration purposes.

Sometimes Life shows up as forms to be completed; other times it shows up as mealtime or a walk or washing the dishes. As completion of forms happens, as meals are consumed and dishes washed, notice whether these happen with or without an "I".

Trying to focus on not using `I`when going about the daily chores.

It's not the use of "I" that makes a difference; it's noticing what exactly you mean when you use it! If by "I" you mean some "essential separate being that distinguishes you from others", show me what and where it is!

Changes perception totally, but only when I stay focused. Nothing permanent

Notice whether anything actually changes when perception changes. Does reality change? or is it just the way you view it that alters?

We don't offer a "new, improved" State. You are not asked to "stay focused" on no self; focus changes, states change, that's Life. But notice what happens (and doesn't happen) when perception changes. Does reality alter at all depending on perception? Does using or not using "I" change what is happening here and now? Or does it simply clear up the Story you've been telling all this time?

Perhaps when you were little you believed that Santa Claus was a real entity who arrived at Christmas with gifts. At some point you saw through the fiction — you SAW there is no actual Santa in reality, but only a Story.
Did you need to focus on no-Santa in order to know that Santa does not exist in reality? Can you un-see that Santa is a fiction?
Self is also a fiction, like Santa, Batman and unicorn. There are stories, but there is no self.

love
Nona

[besupax]

Hi Nona,

[quote]Do this exercise. For ten minutes, write everything that is happening here and now, using the usual form of language: I am sitting in a chair typing, I am blinking my eyes, I am breathing, I am reading what is on the screen.
Then, for another ten minutes, switch to a different way of describing what's happening, dropping the I: Sitting, typing, blinking, breathing, reading.
Notice any differences in how the body feels while writing these descriptions. Does one way feel more true?[/quote]

I am starting my exercise. It’s 19:23pm. I am sitting in a chair. I am typing on the computer. There is soft music in the background. The fridge is making some noise. I am looking at the blinking cursor. I am getting aware of a headache in the area of my crown chakra. I am putting some smarties in my mouth. I am breathing. I am looking around the room and I am hearing the music. I am looking to the papers scattered over the table. There is a thought crossing my mind: how much time I spend on this exercise when I could actually wrap my son’s birthday presents and do some cleaning I didn’t finish today. I am breathing. I am breathing. I am having a headache. I am typing and I am getting tired. There is nothing to do here. My feet are cramped in my slippers. I am stretching them. I am scratching my neck. I am breathing. I am moving my eyes over the screen. I feel my bottom on the chair. I see the reflection of the light in the window. The water in the pitcher is moving as I am typing in the computer. The neighbors are running their garage door up and down. I hear my music. I hope my son is asleep. My skin is itchy. I smile. I blink my eyes. My fingers are moving. I feel the surface of the keys. I scratch my head. I feel my chest rising and falling. I am blinking my eyes. There is nothing to do here. I am blinking my eyes. Only two more minutes to go. I look around the room. I feel empty. I look at a picture opposite on the wall. I scratch my eyes. I miss my husband. I am moving in the chair. I feel the tongue behind my teeth. There is a heaviness in my left shoulder. I am breathing. I have a headache. Time is up!

Starting exercise. 19:35pm. Scratching knee. Chewing. Sitting on chair. Listening to music. Breathing. Enjoying the process of typing. Rubbing knees together. Smiling. Headache. Thoughts passing. Smiling. Happiness: Dishes done. Breathing. Eyes blinking. Focosing on the screen. Eyes moving. Fingers moving. Scratching head. Aware of bottom on chair. One foot dangling in air. Eyes blinking. Headache. Deep breath. Thoughts passing. Scratching nose. Smiling. Breathing. Looking around. Smiling. Headache. Scratching head. Blinking. Breathing. Thoughts passing. Looking over table. Fingers moving. Chest rising and falling. Head itchy. Chewing smarties. Headache. Blinking. Breathing. Chewing. Shifting in the chair. Rolling toes. Scratching lip. Loving son. Hoping for sunshine tomorrow. Sitting comfortable. Checking clock: 3 more minutes. Smiling. Exercise not so bad. Scratching head. Putting smarties in mouth. Thinking about birthday cake. Smiling. Fingers moving. Eyes moving. Legs moving. Eyes blinking. Breathing. Smiling. Listening to music. Scratching back. Chewing smarties. Listening to music. Eyes blinking. Chest rising and falling. Looking around the room. Time is up!

The body felt more relaxed with the second exercise. More flow there. The second way of describing feels more true. I am trying to do that when I go about my day. It still feels more like a mind set and I need to stay focused.

This is what came up today - all bodies, human and animal, are on autopilot. No self to be found. Thoughts, emotions, memory make up the "story" of "my" life.

[quote]In sensation-prior-to-thought, are there thoughts and emotions? Or do thoughts and emotions show up after sensation? As you go about your day, check when thoughts and emotions arrive.
[/quote]

Thoughts and emotions label and "judge" reality. They arrive after hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, looking.

[quote]The body awakes from the night. It lays in bed. I is nowhere perceivable through the senses in the room. Then what makes the body get up in the morning? (The only possible answer: The body gets up by itself, just as it breaths by itself, but that is contrary to my experience, as with thoughts I decide whether or not to stay in bed.)

I want you to look very carefully. IS that contrary to the direct experience of your senses?? Or is it only contrary to your belief that you decide?
Describe in detail how you "decide with thoughts". At what point, exactly, is a decision actually made? What makes the decision?[/quote]

I will have to pay closer attention to that one. There is a struggle every morning to get up, as I am feeling always tired and do not want to get up. The struggle is definitely in my thoughts. Okay, but even the tiredness is a feeling not an experience with the senses. I will pay attention to the sensations!

[quote]If you control thoughts, don't think of a pink frosted cake with candles on it.
How did that work?
Where do thoughts come from? Check it! Can you have a half a thought? Or does a thought simply show up full-blown, all at once?[/quote]

It obviously doesn't work to control thoughts. I don't know where thoughts come from. They just arise - out of nowhere. I can have half a thought and stop it in the middle, but at the same time I know what the other half would have been. So, yes the thought shows up full-blown.

[quote]Notice the difference between what you 'know' from sensation and what you 'know' from thinking.
[/quote]

That is interesting. It reminds me of the tingling sensations in my hands before I give a person or animal an energy treatment. Then I know I should offer an energy treatment. I never offer it if I don't have that sensation unless people booked me.

Thanks for guiding me on this journey. To see through the illusion of Santa was definetly easier, but the time was ripe for that. I don't see that I am making progress here, other than in the mind. I want to keep going though.

Warmly,
Susan

[nonaparry]

Hi Susan,

The body felt more relaxed with the second exercise. More flow there. The second way of describing feels more true.

Yes. It describes Life flowing rather than a non-existent entity running the show!

I am trying to do that when I go about my day. It still feels more like a mind set and I need to stay focused.

It's good to notice during the day that everything that happens happens just the same without an "I". And it's not necessary to be aware of it at all times. It's true whether you are aware of it in the moment or not. Just like it's true there is no Santa, no unicorn, even when you are not aware of it.

This is what came up today - all bodies, human and animal, are on autopilot. No self to be found. Thoughts, emotions, memory make up the "story" of "my" life.

Yes. Have you observed this to be the case in reality? Or is it a belief?

Thoughts and emotions label and "judge" reality. They arrive after hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, looking.

Thoughts judge reality, yes. And they arrive after sensation. Check it: Is emotion anything other than a label attached to one or more sensations?

Describe in detail how you "decide with thoughts". At what point, exactly, is a decision actually made? What makes the decision?

I will have to pay closer attention to that one. There is a struggle every morning to get up, as I am feeling always tired and do not want to get up. The struggle is definitely in my thoughts. Okay, but even the tiredness is a feeling not an experience with the senses.

For the next few mornings pay close attention to what is happening in reality as the struggle takes place. Notice the difference between the sensations and the story thought tells. Write what actually happened, and then write the story mind tells about it.

It obviously doesn't work to control thoughts. I don't know where thoughts come from. They just arise - out of nowhere. I can have half a thought and stop it in the middle, but at the same time I know what the other half would have been. So, yes the thought shows up full-blown.

Good noticing!!

Thanks for guiding me on this journey. To see through the illusion of Santa was definetly easier, but the time was ripe for that. I don't see that I am making progress here, other than in the mind. I want to keep going though.

The time is ripe for this. You are doing a good job of observing with the senses. Now separate the story from reality and LOOK.
What made it "easier" to see through the illusion of Santa?

love
Nona

[besupax]

Hi Nona,

[quote]This is what came up today - all bodies, human and animal, are on autopilot. No self to be found. Thoughts, emotions, memory make up the "story" of "my" life.
Yes. Have you observed this to be the case in reality? Or is it a belief?
[/quote]

It's still more like a mind - felt realisation. But there is a huge relief there!

[quote]Check it: Is emotion anything other than a label attached to one or more sensations?[/quote]

This is a bit tricky. When I observed the struggle in bed this morning it was difficult to distinguish between the emotions strongly felt in my body and the actual sensation before emotion arises, also felt through the body.

[quote]What made it "easier" to see through the illusion of Santa?[/quote]

I don't even remember the time when I realized there is no Santa. There was definitely no suffering connected to that story. "I" was just suddenly part of the people who knew and made it up again for the little ones, because I knew how good it felt to believe in Santa.

My mind is kind of waiting for the big hit - the full-blown war, waiting to embrace "me" in the "collective suffering story". Instead things are falling into place and there is a nice flow, even if events are tricky. It still feels as if "I" could forget everything that is realized again.

I will pay attention to the morning struggle!

It's my son's birthday tomorrow. Most likely I won't be able to check my mails. I will be back on Thursday.

Thanks so much Nona!

Love is true!!! My tears are running.

[nonaparry]

Hi Susan,

This is what came up today - all bodies, human and animal, are on autopilot. No self to be found. Thoughts, emotions, memory make up the "story" of "my" life.

Yes. Have you observed this to be the case in reality? Or is it a belief?

It's still more like a mind - felt realisation. But there is a huge relief there!

So open the eyes in the head. Take a close LOOK! Is there anything in Life that is *not* on autopilot? At all? LOOK!

This is a bit tricky. When I observed the struggle in bed this morning it was difficult to distinguish between the emotions strongly felt in my body and the actual sensation before emotion arises, also felt through the body.

It's not easy, due to the beliefs that emotions are something *more* than sensation. But it's simple: pain and pleasure are sensation + a label. There is no such thing as pure pain or pure pleasure. There is a sensation, and then a thought, and then a label. Observe with all the senses; watch how this happens.

There was definitely no suffering connected to that story. "I" was just suddenly part of the people who knew and made it up again for the little ones, because I knew how good it felt to believe in Santa.

My mind is kind of waiting for the big hit - the full-blown war, waiting to embrace "me" in the "collective suffering story". Instead things are falling into place and there is a nice flow, even if events are tricky. It still feels as if "I" could forget everything that is realized again.

Suffering is believing there is a separate entity "self" that controls and is responsible for "your" life. Really. Without the Story, there is no suffering. This is true for every description, explanation, reason: it's a story. What is not a story is sensation-prior-to-thought, also called Direct Experience. Any time you feel caught up in what's happening, you can shift focus to direct experience and SEE exactly what is happening without your story. This is freedom.

It's my son's birthday tomorrow.

Notice, in the festivities, whether your son has a "self". Does he? What/where is it? How does it operate? Where did it come from? Check it!

Most likely I won't be able to check my mails. I will be back on Thursday.

Thanks for letting me know. See you then!

love
Nona