Dear Guide, can you awake ´me´?

[alguidar]

Na minha cabeça, quando a desidentificação com o marco desaparecer, o medo da morte desaparecer (porque nunca houve ninguém que nasceu), when the seeking drops, quando a questão: qual o sentido da vida? desaparecer é que mereço um azul.

My standards are to high? lol

Sim, tens umas expectativas bem altas!

A identificação com o Marco pode nunca desaparecer e o medo da morte também.

Estas expectativas são distrações que fazem com que não olhes para a realidade.

Lê por favor este post da Ilona: http://markedeternal.blogspot.pt/p/start-here.html, principalmente o step 1 e o step 2.

"All expectations, no matter what you expect are not what it is going to be like. Anytime you feel stuck, come back to expectations, if there is something that you think that should be happening, but it isn't- there is an expectation behind it."

Ok, vou fazer isso. Depois posto aqui os resultados.

[alguidar]

Write this down.
There is no self at all in reality. No me that lives my life.
Watch, wait, notice, write- what comes up? Is there fear? Is there doubt? Resistance? Frustration? Something that wants to scream and make a turn away, something that says this is not working? Or maybe there is wow, joy, relief?
Notice all that is going on inside and just put it down in writing.

What cames up is a bit of resistence.

I know that "There is no self at all in reality. No me that lives my life." but i feel kind of a contraction in the body as i write it.

I don´t see it as fear, i see it as resistence/contracion.

Done? Ok. Bring all closer. Focus on fear.
What are those fears, what is resistance? Notice, that it's protection mechanism. The fear itself is like a door, it holds you from looking behind the door. It's just fear. It’s ok for it to be there doing it’s job. Just let it be there, acknowledge its presence, check where it feels physically in the body.
What is fear itself?
What is it protecting?
What needs to be protected?
Ask it to reveal why it’s here, what it is trying to tell you, ask fear to share it’s wisdom.
If there is no self, then there is nothing that needs to be protected. Right?
Honour the feeling. Bow to it, thank it for doing it’s job.
Now look behind.
Is there anything behind the fear?
What?

The resistence/contraction is just a sensation that arises.

It´s a feeling in the body that doesn´t accept the truth.

It´s protecting the lie that theres is an entity with free will and volition.

That entity is illusory so there´s nothing to be protected.

The contraction is here to protect the separate entity not in an intellectual way but in an "energetic" way.

There´s nothig behind the resistence, it´s like theres only empty space.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------Expectations

What do you expect that liberation is going to be like?

Don´t know, don´t care.

What do you want from it?

The end of questions about the meaning of life.

The end of fear of death.

How do you imagine a liberated human behaves?

Not atached to money, status or power.

What should it be like?

Don´t know, don´t care.

What you do not want it to be like.

Don´t know, don´t care.

[Canfora]

Good work and nice answers, Marco.

I especially like the Don't know, don't care. ones :)

There´s nothig behind the resistence, it´s like theres only empty space.

This is also how I saw that there is no I. I couldn't see a 'me' beyond anything, thoughts, sensations, emotions, everything. If it’s not there how can it be real???

What do you want from it?

The end of questions about the meaning of life.

The end of fear of death.

How do you imagine a liberated human behaves?

Not attached to money, status or power.

Can you see that these are just expectations and thoughts?

If there is no Marco separated from life, controlling expectations and thoughts, how can the expectations and thoughts that show up don't appear? They are just happening, like everything!

Maybe they will change, maybe not, but as the flow of life and in the flow of life. Reality doesn't care about our wants, opinions and expectations, it just is.

Na minha cabeça, quando a desidentificação com o marco desaparecer, o medo da morte desaparecer (porque nunca houve ninguém que nasceu), when the seeking drops, quando a questão: qual o sentido da vida? desaparecer é que mereço um azul.

Do you really believe that you don't deserve to be 'blued'? Why? Isn't this just more thoughts appearing in a stream of thoughts? Are they personal? Can you see a you thinking them?

If you can't find a you anywhere - making fear, making thoughts of 'I don't deserve...', making questions about the meaning of life - are you seeing that the I exists just as an illusion and there isn't a real gate to cross? Just reality doing it's thing?

[alguidar]

Can you see that these are just expectations and thoughts?

If there is no Marco separated from life, controlling expectations and thoughts, how can the expectations and thoughts that show up don't appear? They are just happening, like everything!


Do you really believe that you don't deserve to be 'blued'? Why?
Isn't this just more thoughts appearing in a stream of thoughts?
Are they personal? Can you see a you thinking them?

This is getting interesting.

If there is no me, what is beeing written here is automatic and no one is doing it.

All thoughts happen without any thinker.

Expectations are just another thought.

So the seeking will drop whenever it does.

The questions will stop whenever they do stop.

There´s no one to do anything.

The imaginary ´me´imagines that he only deserves a blue when the seeking drops.
(but that´s just another thought)

ah ah crazy shit!

---------------------------------------------------------------

If you can't find a you anywhere - making fear, making thoughts of 'I don't deserve...',
making questions about the meaning of life - are you seeing that the I exists just as an illusion and there isn't a real gate to cross?
Just reality doing it's thing?

Oh yeah ´i´ see that, reality doing it´s thing -- things are unfolding without any volition or free will.

Maybe sometime it will unfold in some way that all the seeking and questions will drop in this bodymind.

As ´i´ see it, it´s the same if ´i´ am blue or green -- it´s just how reality is playing the game.

[Canfora]

This is getting interesting.

Oh, yes!

You are looking straight at the illusion!

Can you SEE there is no you?

Can you SEE there is no Gate?

Can you SEE that you are only thoughts????

What's missing?

[alguidar]

You are looking straight at the illusion!

Can you SEE there is no you?

Yes, i see that.

Can you SEE there is no Gate?

This one is tricky, i´m waiting for something to change. Some kind of shift.
For me the shift is the gate.
For me there´s still a gate.

Can you SEE that you are only thoughts????

Well, i guess what i really am is prior to thoughts.

What's missing?

Nothing is really missing, the concept of missing is just the ego not accepting reality.
How can something be missing if there´s no one doing anything.
It´s just reality unfolding.

[Canfora]

Nice answers!

Can you SEE there is no Gate?

This one is tricky, i´m waiting for something to change. Some kind of shift.
For me the shift is the gate.
For me there´s still a gate.

If the gate is real what is it made of? And where is it?

Can you SEE that you are only thoughts????

Well, i guess what i really am is prior to thoughts.

I was referring to the illusory 'you'.
You guess it is or can you see that? When you are not thinking what you are is still there, isn't it? :)

What's missing?

Nothing is really missing, the concept of missing is just the ego not accepting reality.
How can something be missing if there´s no one doing anything.
It´s just reality unfolding.

Beautiful!

[alguidar]

If the gate is real what is it made of? And where is it?

Well, for me, the gate is realizing that there is no gate. (ah ah nice paradox)

When the seeking drops, ´i´ will realize that there is no gate. That could be better phrased as Life realizes that it was never marco.

When you are not thinking what you are is still there, isn't it? :)

Yes, it´s like what i really am is kind of a non-conceptual awareness.

Thoughts are just another arising into the awareness.

No different than sounds, scents or other senses.

[Canfora]

When the seeking drops, ´i´ will realize that there is no gate. That could be better phrased as Life realizes that it was never marco.

If there is no 'you' then how will that be done? Look at these thoughts, they're just more expectations about how will this be. You are trying to have control over Life and Life can't be controled, just seen for what it is.

There are thoughts happening about a Gate and about a Marco. Are any one of them real?

When there are thoughts about the existance of a Gate and of a Marco, are these thoughts coming from Marco or are they Life itself existing as 'thoughts'?

Just LOOK around !!!!!

It just takes ONE look, really !

What do you SEE? What's here, now??? What's here always?

Can you SEE a Marco?

Is 'Marco' real?

[alguidar]

If there is no 'you' then how will that be done?

How? I don´t know. The seeking will drop when it does.
It really is the same if non-dual awareness is realized or not for any particular bodymind.
It´s all wholeness anyway.

Look at these thoughts, they're just more expectations about how will this be. You are trying to have control over Life and Life can't be controled, just seen for what it is.

There´s no point in fighting expectations, that´s just what is happening. Another story.
Expectations will disapear when they do.
As a result of our interaction or not.

There are thoughts happening about a Gate and about a Marco. Are any one of them real?

The thoughts are real but they´re content is as real as batman.

When there are thoughts about the existance of a Gate and of a Marco, are these thoughts coming from Marco or are they Life itself existing as 'thoughts'?

No no no, they´re not coming from marco, they appear spontaneously in this bodymind.

Just LOOK around !!!!!

It just takes ONE look, really !

What do you SEE? What's here, now??? What's here always?

Can you SEE a Marco?

CAn´t see a marco.

What´s here always is like some kind of awareness where things appear.
Includind the illusion that there is an ´i´ to be stuck.

[Canfora]

From your answers I still think that when you look you are seeing the illusion.

That's the main goal of this Forum, Marco.

Do you want to try the final questions or are you still in 'I don't deserve to be blued' mode?

If you are, are you a 'you' that can deserve this and not that? Can you find this 'you'?

If after looking the answer is I'm not a separated you I realy believe that you 'deserve' to answer that
questions, because this process has absolutely nothing to do with deserving and everything to do with seeing the illusion.

[alguidar]

Do you want to try the final questions or are you still in 'I don't deserve to be blued' mode?

Let´s go.
Vamos fazer "as específicas". ahahahah

[Canfora]

Boa! Fico feliz.

Peço-te que respondas em inglês - penso que não deves ter nenhum problema em fazê-lo (se tiveres diz) - para poder pedir a outros guias para olharem as tuas respostas e garantir que nada nos escapa...

Não precisas de responder a todas as perguntas no mesmo dia se não te der jeito. Tenta ser um bocadinho mais falador do que o teu habitual e dar uma resposta o mais completa possível a cada pergunta - no fundo as perguntas servem para descreveres o que viste ser verdade no teu percurso :)

Não te esqueças de responder a partir da experiência direta e de dar exemplos onde eles são pedidos.

Ora então aqui estão elas :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?

[alguidar]

Peço-te que respondas em inglês - penso que não deves ter nenhum problema em fazê-lo (se tiveres diz) - para poder pedir a outros guias para olharem as tuas respostas e garantir que nada nos escapa...

Não precisas de responder a todas as perguntas no mesmo dia se não te der jeito. Tenta ser um bocadinho mais falador do que o teu habitual e dar uma resposta o mais completa possível a cada pergunta - no fundo as perguntas servem para descreveres o que viste ser verdade no teu percurso :)

Não te esqueças de responder a partir da experiência direta e de dar exemplos onde eles são pedidos.

Ora então aqui estão elas :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, there is no self. It´s all thoughts "believing" other thoughts. (if that makes any sense)
There´s a body, there are are thoughts but thoughts don´t think.
It´s like there is a void and thoughts appear, those thoughts create the illusion of a separate self and free will.
Sometimes i´m amazed, i do stuff on automatic for a few hours and i think " i really don´t need the illusory
i for nothing". (of course this is just another thought/story)

[alguidar]

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of a separate self is the belief that there is an entity independent of the external world that makes decisions, that has volition and free will.

I guess it starts in childhood, when thoughts start to form a character in the mind. We have no defense against it, that´s the default mode humans function. Also there´s nothing wrong with it, it´s just how Life is being played.

From my own experience the illusion of the separate self was experienced by having and believing opinions about political systems, by identifying with thoughts and by trying to live incarnating a type of character like " the rational guy", for example.