Request for guidance, please.

[Canfora]

Insight! Looking, looking, looking for something which I know does not exist (separate identity "I") is a pointless and frustrating exercise! Place the attention on the sense of presence, and there is peace, well-being. :-)

Are you still waiting for the angel’s songs and fireworks? :)

Do you want to keep looking or are you ready to trust you’re seeing - do you want to have a go with LU final questions? Both options are OK with me :)

In my experience, after i saw that the I didn't existed, i kept looking for maybe a month. That seems to happen a lot - there is looking going on until the moment the looking stops. It becomes easier, as you say, to "Place the attention on the sense of presence, and there is peace, well-being. :-)".

Sending love.

[LAKSHMAN]

Dear Sandra,
I find my experience is as it was when I started: nothing lacking, and a sense of presence.:-)
Somehow though, there was a thought "this can't be "it".
Angel's songs and fireworks; I guess I expected a sense of hightened awareness or bliss. However, I know that these are experiences, and I sometimes experience them. Seeing the truth is not an experience.
What happened over the last two days is I set everything apart, to intensely look for a "separate self" to prove it was not there!
Knowing there is no separate self, is seeing what is not true. Being aware of this beautiful unassociated sense of presence, is knowing what IS true.
I feel normal, normal like this, is good, :-)
I would like to keep up correspondence, please feel free to ask any questions. Please also use your own discernment to judge whether I need to look further.
Thank you. X.

[LAKSHMAN]

Can you see this wonderful full moon? :-D

[Canfora]

Oh yes, wonderful full moon here too :)

I feel normal, normal like this, is good, :-)

Good to know!

The LU final questions are a way to see if there are any beliefs that must be seen throught. They can also help you to structure your thoughts about this seeing.

Here are the questions. There is no rush - you can answer them all at once or one or two at a time, what feels best to you.

Just remember to answer from your direct experience.


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?


Love, Sandra

[LAKSHMAN]

Hi sandra. I'm just letting things settle. Will write later.

[Canfora]

OK, Shannon. No need to answer the questions if you don't feel ready. We can keep looking :)

[LAKSHMAN]

Hi Sandra. I would like to still keep the dialogue going, if that's ok with you.

To the first question, when looked for, it is clearly not found outside of thought, just an idea that a separate identity could exist.
However, there are still thoughts appearing such as: "I am at a point in my life when...." Indicating the contrary. When looked at, it is seen clearly that this thought is appearing now, it obviously can't appear at any other time!
It seems that when not looked at, the assumption that I have a life carries on by itself.

Thank you for your patience.

[LAKSHMAN]

Ok, now I get to see these thoughts of a separate self like the sound of a car, or seeing a tree, something coming into my present realm of experience, but the clarity is not always there.

[Canfora]

Hi Sandra. I would like to still keep the dialogue going, if that's ok with you.

Hi Shannon. If you want to keep looking that's what we will do.

To the first question, when looked for, it is clearly not found outside of thought, just an idea that a separate identity could exist.
However, there are still thoughts appearing such as: "I am at a point in my life when...." Indicating the contrary. When looked at, it is seen clearly that this thought is appearing now, it obviously can't appear at any other time!
It seems that when not looked at, the assumption that I have a life carries on by itself.

Some thoughts about this process... It's natural and expected that old habits and thoughts still come up. If you don't fuel them they show up less and less frequently.

Thoughts about the I keep appearing but what is the one that cares about them? That one doesn't exist. Maybe some of that habits or thoughts stay around "forever". Who cares? Resistance to seeing is a natural reaction that rises because of conditioning. Is that a problem when we know that we have characters that are conditioned at the level of the body and thought?

When the belief in the separated I drops what stays? Maybe what was there already... If the I never existed change may or may not happen.

Shannon, is anything blocking seeing? Can you please look and describe me what it is?

[LAKSHMAN]

Hello Sandra, thank you for replying.
Is anything blocking seeing? In this moment no, there is not. I think it is as you stated; habits and conditioning.
It seems there is a "settling in" or something. going on. There are definately moments where the seeing is more clear than others.

[LAKSHMAN]

I will answer the 5 questions as best I can in this moment. There is no expectation to "pass" or "fail" anything, I will just say how I see things at the moment, I may look at them again and answer in a different way.

1. No, it is clear when looked at that there is not, apart from as a thought, which has no substance. Of course, if there is not now, there never was.

2.It feels like there is a me, battling this thing out all alone. That there is a position to defend, that I have to manipulate or manage situations: "my life" to ensure the minimum suffering, and get what I think is best for me. It can feel lonely. That there is a "me" as a story, progressing, developing, trying to get towards some concept called "enlightenment" Ha ha ha! (that's a real laugh, by the way)
I can't say that I can remember ever experiencing in early childhood a sense of no separate "I". I can see that it comes from conditioning. The first time I remember ever experiencing no separate sense of "I", was about 30 years ago. having taken hallucionagenic drugs.

3. Well, quite nice really! I can only say how it feels in this moment. Actually it feels pretty much the same. I think the understanding has been coming in bits over some time, maybe about a month ago I really saw clearly from my own experience, that there was mo "me", I just didn't trust it.

4.The "push over". A couple of days ago I was experiencing frustration and confusion, looking with intensity for a sense of separate identity (to prove that there was not). Then came the realisation that I was looking for something that I knew did not exist, of course it was frustrating!

5. I really have no idea! I mean the whole question of free will... I don't know. I can chose to believe thoughts about "me" having my own life to run, or I can chose to let it just take it's own course. Or can I? Does it all just happen?

6. Sandra, I really appreciate you guiding me through this, really, really, really! It's funny, coz in one way all you are to me is some words that appear on a screen! But in another way I know this is coming from care and compassion. Please continue to give the insights that you feel are necessary. I may look at these questions again, ask me more to clarify things if you feel to.
Tomorrow I will be away from home all day, and may not be able to communicate.
Sending love, Shannon.

[LAKSHMAN]

Number 5: Events in life, making things happen? The truth is there is only THIS. So, no.

[Canfora]

I really appreciate you guiding me through this, really, really, really! It's funny, coz in one way all you are to me is some words that appear on a screen! But in another way I know this is coming from care and compassion.

I know exactly what you mean. Thank you also for being some words on a screen and for sticking with this :)

There is no expectation to "pass" or "fail" anything, I will just say how I see things at the moment, I may look at them again and answer in a different way.

That's the "perfect" way to do it, Shannon :)

There are 2 questions that arise from your answers and I'm going to ask you to look again. Don't forget that the answers must come from direct experience, not from thinking/beliefs:

It feels like there is a me, battling this thing out all alone.

Are you describing your direct experience or the "past" illusion? Please explain this sentence.

I really have no idea! I mean the whole question of free will... I don't know. I can chose to believe thoughts about "me" having my own life to run, or I can chose to let it just take it's own course. Or can I?

Your first response to number 5 was pretty uncertain, and your follow-up to it is essentially "There is only This." Can you please elaborate?

Tomorrow I will be away from home all day, and may not be able to communicate.

Thank you for telling me. I look forward to reading your answers.

Sending love, Sandra

[LAKSHMAN]

Hello Sandra.
What I said regarding question 2,"It feels like there is a me battling this out alone" is definately explaining the experience of the illusion of separate self in its strongest manifestation. This is NOT my experience in this moment, nor has it been for some time.

In regards to question 3.
There IS a difference from the perception before this process was started. There is no feeling os search or searcher, more a discovery or an unfolding.
It seems more easy just to be in the present/presence.
There have been certain effects; moments of bliss, hightened awareness of my surroundings an self. These are seen for what they are; "effects".
There is an uncomplicatedness, less mental "stories", a gratitude to you for guiding me through this process.

And the last one: Well, there really is only THIS, is't there?

Much love.

[Canfora]

Hi, Shannon, i'm happy to see you :) Thank you for your answers, i'm really enjoying reading them!

I asked other guides to look at your answers and some questions came up. Please answer the following as fully as possible, from your direct experience:

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Can you please explain again what the illusion of the separate self is and how it works? What is it from your current perspective?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

Do you make anything happen? Please give examples from your experience.

Sending love, Sandra.