Hi... Miranda is ready :)

[Canfora]

Hi, Miranda.

It's good to see you here :)

Doing this process can be a way to unconsciously try to escape thought patterns and habitual feelings: "If I truly see that there is no I, I will be free form being like this, feeling like this".

That is not true in my experience. Fear still appears to "Canfora" among other things. I just know they're not "mine", they're not personal :)

Trying to avoid/resist feelings when we identify with them and building a story around them: "Stuck in fear, I fear!" keeps the suffering around.

Miranda, does this feeling come and go? Is it permanent or temporary? What happens to the "fear" when you are asleep without dreaming?

Is this feeling you? Or something that arises, like "flatness"? Like "hapiness"?

Is this feeling protecting a you? Can you find a you beyond the feeling?

Looking forward for your answers, much love, Canfora

[Miranda]

Hi Canfora,
Thanks for your reply... yes I suppose I do hold a fantasy that life will become easier once I break through the illusions. I will try to answer these questions.
Miranda, does this feeling come and go? Is it permanent or temporary? What happens to the "fear" when you are asleep without dreaming?
Yes, the feeling comes and goes. Looking at what is happening in my life situation at the moment, perhaps it is a fear of being alone. Allone. Alone.
Is this feeling you? Or something that arises, like "flatness"? Like "hapiness"?
I can definitely see that it is not 'me' ... but something arising ... i do slip into identifying with the emotion, it's true.
Is this feeling protecting a you? Can you find a you beyond the feeling?
Oh boy. At the moment, no... but this will pass. Thanks and lots of love

[Canfora]

Hello Miranda,

Thank you for your quick reply.

I suppose I do hold a fantasy that life will become easier once I break through the illusions.

Life is as it is. Sometimes thoughts say "Things are getting easier." and sometimes they say: "I'm feeling the same thing again."

Can you see them for what they are: thoughts?

When we see thoughts as just thoughts they're pull has less strength and it's easier to stay with reality as it is.

Yes, the feeling comes and goes.

Absolutely. "This too shall pass."

I can definitely see that it is not 'me' ... but something arising ... i do slip into identifying with the emotion, it's true.

Good seeing, Miranda.

Oh boy. At the moment, no... but this will pass.

Yes, it will.

Then you try to relax and look again, with fresh eyes, to what's real, here and now, and you ask yourself: "Can I find a Miranda? Is she true?"

And you see the body, you see the feelings, you see what's around you - all "arising and falling".

There will be thoughts appearing also - can you see them for what they are? Objects in awareness? Thoughts can't think!

Do this for some time and tell me what you find.

Big hug, Canfora

[Miranda]

Oh Canfora, I do love you! It is so good to come back here and find you've not given up on me!

It is quite difficult NOT sharing my life situation with you ... it's so tempting! But I don't want to get caught up in the story, so suffice to say there is much drama and tension and sorrow in my life at present. Well actually, at PRESENT, everything is fine ... no one is yelling or swearing at me and I've found a moment of peace to connect with you.

This trip, this liberating trip, has been extraordinary so far. Sometimes I feel a bit mad. I go for long walks in nature, and imagine I can FEEL you and the others encouraging me through the gate ... let go let go ... relax ... it's all okay. I have definitely had glimpses of this knowledge of oneness, of no separate self. It's almost like the thoughts come ready made, from some other place, and I can SEE them, as objects in space. Like I'm (whatever I am) is floating alongside them.

I guess I should embrace my life situation as an opportunity to really practise the witnessing and NOT getting drawn into the drama. Phew. So close ... so close ... and then - splat. Back in Me. I will continue to practise what you suggest.

Thanks again, and much love. XXX

[Canfora]

Dear Miranda,

I can’t help you with your life situation - I would love to, but I'm here to help you cross the Gate and that I can do :)

It would be easier if our contact was more frequent, we are always starting our "walk"... and that's OK, it's what is.

Well actually, at PRESENT, everything is fine ... no one is yelling or swearing at me and I've found a moment of peace to connect with you.

Yes, it's good to see the difference between the story and what's true in reality. There can be lots of peace to be found in the distinction.

When situations like that happen can you see they are not personal? By that I mean they're not happening to a you, they are just happening.

I know that's difficult to see when in the middle of the storm, but if you see the storm as something that is not personal - just the flow of life - that seeing can help to ease the drama that happens in thoughts form and even help with what's going on, because it's easier to find a place of inner peace during the event.

What do you expect to get with crossing the Gate, Miranda? How do you think "you" and "your life" would change?

Sending love and courage, C

[Miranda]

Hi Canfora,
Yes I will make a concerted effort to get back to you immediately. Already what you say about the life situation is helpful... reminding me it's not personal. You ask:
"What do you expect to get with crossing the Gate, Miranda? How do you think "you" and "your life" would change?"
I have this ideal image of a 'me' that is serene, sailing above the drama of everyday life. I suppose there is an expectation of gaining more inner peace. I have heard about 'dying before you die' - and I very much like this idea. I am SO TIRED of all the stories, the constant inner dialogue (with only brief respites of deep silence), and I imagine the thoughts will slow down after crossing through. Do they? Or is it more an experience of detachment from thought?
Several times I have thought of just throwing this in, writing and telling you I don't / can't 'get' it ... but the desire for truth is profoundly strong ... I'll keep coming back until the work is done! I am doing what you suggest ... looking behind the thoughts more ...
Thanks again,
Miranda

[Canfora]

Hi Miranda :)

Yes I will make a concerted effort to get back to you immediately. Already what you say about the life situation is helpful... reminding me it's not personal.

Wonderful!

I have this ideal image of a 'me' that is serene, sailing above the drama of everyday life. I suppose there is an expectation of gaining more inner peace. I have heard about 'dying before you die' - and I very much like this idea. I am SO TIRED of all the stories, the constant inner dialogue (with only brief respites of deep silence), and I imagine the thoughts will slow down after crossing through. Do they? Or is it more an experience of detachment from thought?

“Whatever will be, will be” - it's a different experience to different people. Our expectations are attachments to an imagined future/self - they can keep us stuck. Please leave them behind. Look to what's here with fresh eyes, like if you never saw what's here before.

Several times I have thought of just throwing this in, writing and telling you I don't / can't 'get' it ... but the desire for truth is profoundly strong ... I'll keep coming back until the work is done!

Oh, yes, you can get this if you keep looking. “I’ll keep coming back” – good positive attitude! You don’t need to be nervous about this, seeing trough the illusion of a separate self is very, very simple (so simple that thoughts keep covering this seeing time and time again).

Our "investigation" in to reality is also made in a very simple way, I make questions and you answer with honesty from your direct experience.

By that I mean that you look for your answers in your moment to moment seamless Experiencing that without a doubt Is: sensations, thought and the sensation of being alive/aware. All you need to see is already here and now.

You can also read this article from Neil about Direct Experience: http://www.liberationunleashed.com/Arti ... ience.html.

I am doing what you suggest ... looking behind the thoughts more ...

Let's look at thoughts:

Think of a tree.

Where does the thought came from? Can you find a Miranda that chooses what tree to think about?

Can you stop the thought for appearing?

Where does the thought go when you stop thinking about the tree?

Please share your experience with as many details as you can.

Love, C

[Miranda]

Hi Canfora,
Thanks for the link ... I read the article.
A tree arises in my mind ... it is a tree that has special significance for this experiencer called 'Miranda' ... this makes 'me' frustrated because i can't seem to get away from this oh-so-special individual. i can't stop the thought from appearing ... i can 'see' this particular tree in my mind's eye quite clearly. Questions crowd in - when will the tree start flowering? What colour will the flowers be? etcetera.
The thought is here now, and won't go away. A bird song distracts my mind from the tree, as do more thoughts directing me to get busy with the housework. A persistent thought of being stuck in me starts up again. I try not to squash this thought, just watch it. Sensations are experienced. A hand scratches an itch. A big, frustrated sigh comes forth. Moments of peace - gaps between thoughts. There is no me breathing, yet breathing happens. A sensation of impatience, a deeper sense of calm. A realisation that the tree thought disappeared for a while ... where did it go? Perhaps it went nowhere, and 'I' just dipped in and out of it ...? I really don't know.
It's True, though, isn't it? There are thoughts, sensations, and awareness of being. I just experienced that!
Thank you...
Much love,
Miranda

[Miranda]

Hi Canfora,

I just wanted to share that I reread this thread so far, and when I saw the sentence you wrote back in the beginning, about there never having been a Miranda, I suddenly 'got' it! I just laughed and laughed and laughed :D

Which is not to say I'm through the gate, but it was a delightful moment! Thanks again

[Canfora]

Hi Miranda!

Good work with the tree exercise. As you can see thoughts just happen - they appear, stay for a few moments and "puff" they go to nowhere.

it is a tree that has special significance

i can't seem to get away from this oh-so-special individual.

Questions crowd in - when will the tree start flowering? What colour will the flowers be? etcetera.

Can you also see that these thoughts tell a story about the tree and about Miranda?

Nothing wrong with them but they aren't about your direct experience - and it can be a big help to know how to see the difference between what's real and what's illusion: thoughts about the past and future and about the way you are are just thoughts. Can you find any prove of the reality of this thoughts in the here and now?

Can you also see that you don't control your thoughts?

I try not to squash this thought, just watch it. Sensations are experienced. A hand scratches an itch. A big, frustrated sigh comes forth. Moments of peace - gaps between thoughts. There is no me breathing, yet breathing happens. A sensation of impatience, a deeper sense of calm. A realisation that the tree thought disappeared for a while ... where did it go? Perhaps it went nowhere, and 'I' just dipped in and out of it ...? I really don't know.
It's True, though, isn't it? There are thoughts, sensations, and awareness of being. I just experienced that!

Good seeing, Miranda! It's all just happening, even the thoughts about a Miranda. Keep looking at this flow and see if you can find a you making anything happen.

Sending love, C

[Canfora]

I just wanted to share that I reread this thread so far, and when I saw the sentence you wrote back in the beginning, about there never having been a Miranda, I suddenly 'got' it! I just laughed and laughed and laughed :D

Miranda!

You're doing so well, happy for you!

Which is not to say I'm through the gate,

Can you see this is just a thought? Really, it's just a thought. Look at it :)

It takes just one fresh, clear look to pass through the Gate. What is seen can't be unseen. It's as simple as that.

Tell me, when you look here and now, can you find a you beyond your thoughts, sensations and perceptions of reality? Is anyone there? Tell me what you see.

Much love, Canfora

[Miranda]

Dearest Canfora,
I can't find anyone! There is no me in charge. The sense of ... relief .... yes, freedom - in this knowledge is ... exhilarating :)
You know, when I was 21 an Indian guru gave me the spiritual name 'Niramaya' which means 'without illusion' ... for the first time I understand what this actually means.
Direct Experience. It begins and ends here.
I can't thank you enough! I'm giggling again. "which is not to say I'm through the gate" - just another thought! I so love you :-D xxxx

[Miranda]

I really am so grateful. This is such a clear, simple, beautiful experience - who'd have thought? ;)

[Canfora]

when I was 21 an Indian guru gave me the spiritual name 'Niramaya' which means 'without illusion' ... for the first time I understand what this actually means.

Beautiful !

This is such a clear, simple, beautiful experience - who'd have thought? ;)

Yes it is, yes it is :)

You sound very clear and focused now, unlike the "Miranda" at the begining of our talk.

From your words I feel you have seen through the illusion of self. The next step is to ask you the final questions.

Do you feel you’re ready for these questions, or do you have any doubts remaining about the illusion of a separate self?

Love you too!

Canfora

[Miranda]

Dear Canfora,

The fear that protects the illusion of a separate self is trying to tell me I'm not ready for the final questions, but I am!

Let's give it a try, anyway.

Much love and gratitude, and tearful giggles,

Miranda