Looking for a guide

[clearskye]

Gratitude accepted--by nobody--but Jaya, YOU did the work!
next question:
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.
with love,
Skye

[Jaya]

Dear Skye,
i dont want to argue with you, I have been trying to practice very sincerely to try and see through self been on many retreats bla bla.. but have clearly needed much help to do this :-) with just a little help from my friends!

okay so...

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

tough question- so in my direct experience things just happen, I get coffee in the morning, go to work, all seems to just unfold really. There is not a 'me' that decides much, initially scarily i saw that onone was in control!! Saw this very clearly with the relationship break up that there was no 'one in control', thoughts would roll on attached to a sensation either of pain and then there would be an action of texting but in the next minute a sense of 'relief' and a sense that 'i was not in love' in the first place. So this malstorm (is that a word) really helped see that more clearly.

But being very honest.. thoughts left unchecked without mindfulness things more likely to unfold in that direction, really dont understand how that happens!! but currently in my direct experience fingers are typing and there is not a sense of a 'me' directing that. Through looking directly at my experience there seems to be no need for a 'me' this label to be there for things to unfold perfectly as they are. Crossing the road there is no 'me' for a 'me' everything just happens!! not fully sure if that is clear or enough information but there you go :-) happy either way.
love jaya, dont seem to be able to sleep feel very awake!!

[Jaya]

p.s- there is no me to make something happen, intend or choose :-)
x

[Jaya]

p.p.s- actually questions not that tough so far anyway on reflection :-)

[clearskye]

Beautiful, Jaya!
One last question:
6) Anything to add?
Love,
Skye

[Jaya]

oh golly!!
not much, what has been going round in my head is 'form is only emptiness, emptiness only form, feelings, thought and choice consciousness itself are the same as this'. Not my original words but seem very relevant and a sense that knowing knows this more deeply and that this is only the beginning.
Hope you resting do you live in America? hope you very well in this moment!!
love jaya

[clearskye]

Hi Jaya,
I live in California, in the US, yes. I was beautifully asleep, as I hope you are right now! I've posted so the "elders" can review my guiding, and I'll be in touch with questions if there are any. I hope you will stay in touch.
with love,
Skye

[Jaya]

Hi there,
California sounds lovely!! I am off to bed shortly. Look forward to hearing from you and happy to explore further questions. Feel as if i have been on a very long retreat which means that, resting is necessary to be more fully with direct experience and to move away from thoughts! Not much more to add.
Be great to be in contact maybe via e-mail if that suits in the future.
love jaya x

[Jaya]

p.s with resting I mean time to just 'be'. x

[clearskye]

perfect. And I'll be in touch here.
amritaskye@sonic.net

[clearskye]

Okay, Jaya, one question.
Does Jaya control anything? Look carefully at your direct experience.
with love,
Skye

[Jaya]

Dear Skye,
thank you for your e-mail address and I will be in touch, on retreat this weekend.
In my direct experience there is no one in control and currently there remains no self to be in control there are sensations, thoughts and action but not a constant reference back to self in order for 'someone' or something to be in control. There is no jaya to 'control anything'.
much love

[clearskye]

thanks, enjoy retreat, back in touch soon.

[Jaya]

Thanks Skye, I am very happy to keep in contact via e-mail, I dont feel any need to go through any gate everything feels perfectly fine as it is. I do really appreciate all of your help and am trying to absorb the experience and see the reflection in everything else rather than just 'myself' so to speak, so the emptiness in everything.
love jaya