i d love to be guided

[isil]

although i cant feel the clarity of it...i can barely touch that the thought of focusing is there before focusing happens..
i cnat fully feel the focusing happening by itself yet..for some reason....
and about the last question, i dont have a clear answer at all...they can attach to other thoughts i guess...

[Konrad]

Ok, relax.

Maybe go for a walk to nature. See how vibrant it is. How pure. Constant movement, right?

Does the dog or cat or any animal have self? Observe, Is the self needed for life to go on?

Sending Love,
Konrad

[isil]

i finally started relaxing...so i m just watching right now...i feel a shift in me...sth very sublte and slow that i cant put my finger on it...just a few words before i answer your questions...just to let you know that i m with it...in it...on it:)

[Konrad]

In direct experience, can you find an "I" that experiences the experience?

Is there a YOU?

Sending Love,
Konrad

[isil]

Hi Konrad
i m looking and looking..sometimes lookimng sometimes thinking..i used to think there was sth in the back of my body...that was me...that was watching...when i went deep in this would be the place i d stop...that d be my limit...now i feel my back empty...
when you ask if there is a ME...İ still dont get a clear answer...now i dont have any doubts..or questions around it...yet not a full sinking in either...so i m still looking...

[Konrad]

Is there a "you" that is doing the looking? Look, dig deep, is there a self?

Looking happens naturally, effortless, without a "you", is it true?

Sending Love,
Konrad

[isil]

i was walking and looking just a couple of minutes ago...i had the feeling of effort...a lot of it...thoughts coming...other thoughts that catch them..then i started looking into the effort...what is this effort? so i ll keep digging in...thank you

[isil]

Hi Konrad
i seem to be at a stanstill.:) i m simply not able to go anywhere with the questions any more....i m still open to it yet i dont know how to get out of this feeling of having truly felt a huge shift in my perception for a couple of days then having this experience as a distant memory now...not being able to fully touch it..dig deep enough anymore...almost feeling like the glimpse and realization i experienced is in the way now...the moment i start looking the thought of knowing the answer comes...like you already know the answer of this question so what r u looking for ...is what the voice tells me...i feel i m missing the whole point...i m open for further suggestion or guidance...if it feels right

[isil]

hi Konrad
I m still with the process and your guidance..just to make it clear...

[Konrad]

Ok,

What are you trying to do?

Is there a you that controls thoughts? Where do thoughts come from?

Is there a you that is having effort? Or is there just effort + the label "I"?

i dont know how to get out of this feeling of having truly felt a huge shift in my perception for a couple of days then having this experience as a distant memory now...not being able to fully touch it..dig deep enough anymore.

Drop the expectations, every one of them. By trying to recreate previous state you are missing what is now, is it true?

When thoughts stop, what's left?

Do not look FOR self, because that would never end, the search would go forever, because there is no self, instead CHECK if it's true that there is no self at all. It's two totally different things, right?

This article might be helpful:
http://blog.undisguisedlife.com/2013/01 ... waldo.html

Sending Love,
Konrad




















What is I?

[isil]

here we go...
i am trying to see through the self...more than that...i know the moment i ve seen through it..so now i m trying to recreate it...before i didnt know exaclty what to expect...now i almost have a reference point..so whenever i wake up..let s say the thought of "hey you r identifying with your thoughts" arises, another thought chain follows: "now you gotta put effort to feel that you r not a seperate self again..ohh so it was not a real experience...you thought you did...but it was not the real thing...try harder...arent you honest enough...you want a kind of practise again..i thought you hated prtactices:) etc....."
so it s like light switch on and off...that gives me the illusion that what i experienced or what i experience as being, as noticing, as going through all this, is not real...i m faking it all...creating another identity on all this liberation unleashed thing now:)
so what s behind all these thoughts? what s left? I can find anything but more thoughts....
I feel i m going through a process and interpreting it as effort- and trying to see through self again and again again...am i fooling myself? just trying to get over with this...or just identifying with more thoughts...
what is it that s not sattisfied with what is seen-being seen? this is of course a rethrocial question...

[isil]

so is this the end of our conversation..?