Bangaroo, are you ready?

[Ilona]

do you exist in any shape or form in reality? was there ever a you? please expand on this, write what you see as you see, honestly.

[bangaroo]

namaste

dont think i have a form or shape in reality
i'm just some kinda awareness that is aware of itself
(since you disapprove of the word soul, i am using the word awareness
as im not comfortable with the word no-self. btw if i asked you
for an alternative word to describe existence what word can
you think of ?) another word for no-self ??

i think i've always been around in many lives
in different bodies and minds. just wanna
be free of all this body-mind weight now.

time to be free. time to be quiet again :)

phir milenge

[Ilona]

So you found another place to hide. Now you are awareness aware of yourself? Really?
Does awaremes require an I to be aware? How about a cat? Cat is very aware of its envirinment and reacts instantly. Is there an I in a cat? Is there an I in a human organic computer?

Another way to describe no self would be saying that all is life, life does not need a manager, it lives with or without your opinion, that which you think is you is only a thought that was taken for an entity. Without identity everything is wide open and alive. Totality is. Life is. Reality is.
Thought me is just that, a word that points to other thoughts. Nothing real. Words are not experience.

Now take a look at that word I from all angles. Is it alive?

[bangaroo]

namaste Ilona

all is life sounds so much
better to me. i agree fully :)

wife is life
(just kidding) :)

ok if you think awareness is too cliched
and i'm hiding behind it then i'll prefer to
use the word 'understanding'. it means
understanding life. cat has its own
understanding of life. a human organic
computer (do you mean a human being?)
has her own understanding of life

you know i understand perfectly what
you are saying. so i dont know what
to do next.

I = no self = life = reality. is alive. alive. ALIVE

this I is not to be confused with the body-mind I
that we use in daily life. its the cosmic I. I am. I live. I live. I live

phir milenge (it means see you later in Hindi)

[bangaroo]

i have a bad cold and cough
so if something is convoluted
just let it pass. if i'm making
sense tell me. if i'm off the
track get me back on line.
i really WANT to see the REAL thingy.

[Ilona]

What is cosmic I?

[bangaroo]

namaste Ilona :)

Cosmic I is the same I that is in all of us:

its the same I :
in Elena, in Ilona,
in a cat, in a dog,
in a priest, in a criminal,
in a man, in a woman,
in an apple, in a pear,
in a pastry, in a hen,
in a bee, in a flower,
in the moon, in the sun

this I was there in Ilona, when she was a little baby.
now that little baby has grown big and enlightened
but that I is the same I. in the future Ilona may
become a world Guru, it'll be the same I :)))))

Ilona thinks she's her body. Ilona thinks she's her thoughts.
When Ilona was enlightened she understood she's different from her body.
she was not her thoughts too, as the thoughts came and went and yet she remained.
its the same with me. i am not my body. though when i have a bad cold and headache
i get really screwed. i know i am not that worry about old age and sickness, but i
get screwed all the same thinking those fearful thoughts. so if i'm not this blasted body
and these nasty pesky irritable never ending thoughts, who the heck am i ? and what the
hell am i doing here on this planet ?? so i'm being clever and thinking that i am actually
and in reality a shapeless, nameless thingy who for want of a better name i call the Cosmic I.
and what you call the no self. i know you call it the no self bcos its not your Ilona Body-Mind Self.
It frees you from what you call your Ilona self. ok you win. i'll switch to no self. i wish you'd
called it something more positive like yes-self or the fun-self but i know what you mean !!
but i know i'm not making any sense to you so its time for me to be quiet

phir milenge Ilona

[Ilona]

That was a great rant.

What happens if you simply change that word I with life?
Yes, this life is in this body and in cats body and in a tree. All is this Life life- ing.

Is it personal I?
If not, can't it be finally admitted that there is no I. Only life.
Zero separation.

All is the same dance, same flow, same manifestation as this.

I don't call no self that which you call cosmic I. I say there is no self at all. Nada.

Keep ranting. Getting close.

[bangaroo]

cant stop laughing
all my painful explanations
dismissed as a rant :)

you are awesome Ilona :)

okay no problemo
cosmic I is life. its not personal
now i get your scene. I implies getting too personal for you,
whereas i'm hung up on calling it I bcos of the self-awareness trip i'm on

ok life = no self
its not personal
it just is all the time, in all places
so no separtion between Ilona and a big truck
so Ilona doesnt have to move out of the truck's way
when its headed towards Ilona as Ilona and the truck are one and the same
and since Ilona is so awesome, the truck gets crumpled and Ilona is there to guide us still :)

no separation between me and a lion
i can eat the lion as we are same

its not personal
its never personal
it just is hehe
so whats the fuss all about
lets have a party
no need to pay the bills
as we are all one, no separation
no jobs, no bills, no cats, no dogs

bla bla bla rant rant rant
i'm writing this with watery eyes, runny itchy nose and a heavy head.
but what does it matter ?? there is nothing like an itchy nose
an itchy nose and a non-itchy nose are the same

so only life is. is. is

phir milenge Ilona, need a paracetomol and a cup of tea.
phir milenge soon

[Ilona]

You are not getting it.
There is no you to get it, only getting.

Ilona and truck are not one. This is some crazy thing to say. Scy fi transformer movie, lol.

What is bangaroo? How do you see it?

[bangaroo]

bangaroo the body
is a water bubble
(can burst any second)

bangaroo the mind
is like a bundle of thoughts
(dancing like a mad monkey)

no bangaroo really
only life, only life

i read your dialogue
with esther. she got
it real fast. why the
heck cant i get it ??
you think i'm retarded ??

[Ilona]

Why you are not getting it? Perhaps there is resistance or fear that is blocking the way.
What do you think?

[bangaroo]

namaste Ilona,

i think i got it
and then lost it :)

i dont pay too
much attention
to my body.
i let these
thoughts also
just come and
go.

not fear,
some resistance maybe :)

i just
need to relax
and i'll be there

phir milenge Ilona

[Ilona]

can you ever loose knowing that santa is not real? does it look real some days and diction another day?
se, once you get, you can not unsee it.

so what is that resistance about? what is behind it?
investigate.

[bangaroo]

namaste Ilona :)

if i have a bad cold and fever
i can easily get into a different
thought level and feel very human

or if there is a bad argument
going on near me, i forget that
there is no me to hear it really ;)

the resistance is that how can
it be so easy ? i've had things
come to me usually with
great difficulty so i'm uneasy
that clarity is so simple, so easy

i've been struggling for long
to get this clarity and i'm
trembling to think i'm so
close to it, i'm really trembling

phir milenge :)