1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, none of these things exist in reality, they only exist as words concepts. The word pen refers to something you can actually pick up and use. It has from and substance. There is no form or substance to 'self' 'me' 'I'.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion of separate self occurs as a result of language. all sentient beings have a survival drive to push away what appears dangerous and draw to it what is believed will help it to survive. When a child is born it is just experiencing, there are things it responds to like hunger and pain but there is no awareness of an entity doing this. No self reflexive consciousness. Gradually we are taught and pick up that there are separate entities. 'This is me and mine...... that is you and yours' This takes quite a long time to inculcate like the notion of time and as i have observed with my children needs quite a bit of reinforcement until it finally 'catches' or sticks/ is believed.
So we move from sensations, reaction to sensations, to awareness of the sensations and reactions and we are taught to label this 'me'. As thinking becomes more complex it begins to label sensations, reactions, cognition, and the thinking process itself as 'me'. The initial impulse to turn away from and towards whatever is threatening or appearing to aid survival grows as the appropriation process of labelling me and mine gradually applies to more and more things.
(it can be seen on an individual level but also in the evolution of humanity. Initially there was no thought this is 'my country' or 'my land' or even 'my life')
I kind of want to call it a 'technical error' that has got tangled into the survival adaptation. But it also seems to be a necessary part of our evolution. It is helpful part of the developmental process like those protective plastic sheaths they use on saplings to prevent them being eaten by deer. But at some point it will start to restrict even kill the tree!
It is a case of mistaken identity (or identifying) . Because it has been part of experience and we have survived, the 'i' identity has been logged as necessary to survival. This is why when we question or challenge it's existence there is so much fear and a massive surge to protect it by continually trying to reinforcing it's 'goodness' or 'badness' or both!
But the very thing we think is protecting us is actually causing our suffering. ha ha ha ha ho!
How it works in my experience is that sensations arise and i give them a label. 'I am angry' then to protect the I a reason 'out there' is found for the anger. Then thinking comes in with blaming self or other which creates more tension and tightening due to fear and perceived threat. Its like the being starts to have an allergic reaction to itself it becomes more and more inflamed which is painful but at least it appears that the non existent I has been protected.
more to come....
