Looking for guidance

[nenad]

I would like if someone would guide me trough this. Thanks :)

Nenad

[nenad]

And about my expectations:

To laught more,
To be able to cry when I feel like crying,
To be more comfortable with my body.

I know i am supposed to drop them, so i am doing that by saing to myself: "hey, this is just the begining, relax :) ".

As for my fears, the biggest one is of losing control.

Also, sorry about language, English is not my native language.

Thanks in advance! :)

[dreamer]

Hi nenad what is you native language?

There is no personal I, there never were, it is just a thought saying so

What happens reading this?

greetings Vivi

[nenad]

Hi, Vivi,

Thanks for answering. My native language is Serbian. But english is ok for me. :)

There is no personal I, there never were, it is just a thought saying so

What happens reading this?

Well, first reaction is: it makes me more fokused on visual (room in front of me), feelings (espeially my left leg, wich was bent in my knee (i was sitting like that for some reason)), sounds (cars passing by and the sound of my computer) and even taste (my tongue).
A feeling of frustration arises.
Also, there is a thought: "There is such a calmness reading this."

On second reading, there is a thought: "So what?" And also a feeling my thougt labels as anxiety. And there is, also, this feeling in my left cheek, and around my head generaly, and betwen my right arm and torso.

On third reading, i notice a tought: "this is wierd" (the idea that there never was a personal I) and a heartbeet.

Greetigs :)

[dreamer]

Hi nenad

I am Danish.

Very nice observations :)

Please write all of your expectations of how it will be to see through the illusion of 'I'
What will happen, how will it be, what will change etc.

On second reading, there is a thought: "So what?" And also a feeling my thougt labels as anxiety. And there is, also, this feeling in my left cheek, and around my head generaly, and betwen my right arm and torso.

Are you the thinker of thoughts?

Greetings Vivi

[nenad]

Hi Vivi,

I am Danish.

Cool :)

Very nice observations :)

Thanks!

Please write all of your expectations of how it will be to see through the illusion of 'I'
What will happen, how will it be, what will change etc.

I expect after that realisitaion i will be more light-heartid, and wil have some deep calmness in me, that i will laught more, enjoy more in life. That things are going to be more intense, both emotionally and circumstancially.

Are you the thinker of thoughts?

No. Thaughts just appear.

Greetigs Nenad

[dreamer]

Hi Nenad

Good.

The biggest fear is fear of loosing control.

What control? Who is in control when 'I' does not exist?

Greetings Vivi

[dreamer]

The expectations seems realistic....they are just thoughts though :)

[nenad]

Hi Vivi,

What control? Who is in control when 'I' does not exist?

You are right. There is no control. No one is control. There is just a tought: "I am in control. And I could easily lose it. Therefore, I should be very, very afraid of this."

The expectations seems realistic....they are just thoughts though :)

Yes, they are just thoughts. :)

Greetings, Nenad

[dreamer]

When there are no controller having control, how do you experience choice to happen?

Greetings Vivi

[nenad]

Hi Vivi

When there are no controller having control, how do you experience choice to happen?

If there is a thougt: "Now I am going to stand up", there is also a thought: "No, actually, I am not going to stand up", so if I do stand up, it seems like a choice based on the thought No1. If I don't, it seems like a choice based on a thought No2.
Or when there is a thought: "I am going to turn on the computer now" there is aloso athougt: "No, you shouldn't do that", so what ever happens it seems like choice.
Or if there is a thought: "I am going to tnihk of my aunt right now" not only there is a picture of her, but also of her daughters and her apartment. So it looks like I chose to imagine that.
Then there is a thought: "I am going to swim now", then there is a picture of me swimming and an excuse: "I culdn't swim beaucose there wasn't any water anywhere around, but at least I imagined it".
Than a thought: "I am going to feel calm now". And, I did, so it seems like a choice too.

Thanks for helping me:)
Greetings Nenad :)

[dreamer]

Good Nenad

There only seems to be choices, yes.

How does it feel to see this?

[nenad]

There only seems to be choices, yes.

How does it feel to see this?

It feels restfull, relaxed, calm. At first (when i read your question: "How does it feel to see this?" and asked it to myself), it seemed as a generall feeling in the entire body, then it seemed it is mostly in the torso, then more in my back, in the back of my neck and in the back of my scull. It gets clearer and clearer how deeply restfull it is.
And thoughts were like: "If there is no choice, then...how?...what?..." and then more like: "If there is no choice, no need to worry so much." And now: "This is so exciting!" :)

[dreamer]

:)

Do you feel anything is missing in seeing through the illusion of 'I'?

Do you feel ready to answer what is called the final questions?

greetings Vivi

[nenad]

Hi, Vivi

Do you feel anything is missing in seeing through the illusion of 'I'?

No:)

Do you feel ready to answer what is called the final questions?

Yes :)

Greetings, Nenad :)