Let me ask you this, because it all comes down to the quality of our experiencing; If "I", whatever I am...knowing that I cant be a person and beginning to understand that there is no "me", ...If I, in moments of "suffering", am able to SEE that there is no person suffering and become quite, what does that mean? There is always still this sense of self and individuality, but "what I am" becomes very still.
Maybe I only think that I only know this intellectually, when perhaps I have become some of this. I know that is fraught with non-dual contradictions, just the limitations of language.
Don't worry about the limitations of language. Subject/object duality is built into language and it's unavoidable when communicating.
Seeing this as opposed to just understanding it is useful not only because it causes a shift in perception, but it also develops valuable skills. Once you've learned this technique of inquiry, it can be applied to any assumptions/beliefs as they come up. Nothing should just be accepted, even if it "makes sense", it should be tested in your own experience.
What you describe above is very useful in times of suffering. I'd encourage you to continue to question all beliefs, especially the belief that there is a what in "what I am".
