Ready to stop the senseless struggle

[A Fool Mo More]

Last night as I was unable to sleep, I started thinking (there's that damn thinking again). There's got to be some fear somewhere and I've hidden it so well that I don't even know it's there. So I dug around and came up with some intense anxiety and the repeating thought "I don't want to go". So maybe if I keep digging the fear and truth will be revealed.

[Rohit]

George, Take heart. Have courage. Find the truth of all this stuff. Don't take the shit fear feeds you. And don't give up till you get it.
Don't dismiss them. See what they are. It's not about why they are scary, it's about looking AT the thoughts, not getting involved with looking INTO them. They are thoughts. Are thoughts real objects?
Is fear a real object?

[A Fool Mo More]

I've noticed that I start out with intention to "look" and then thinking comes along and I get caught up in the thoughts that may or may not have anything to do with seeing if there is a self. This is all very frustrating. I just want to let go of the controls and let life be lived without so much stress, but there are no controls and there is no "I".

[Rohit]

This is all based on your avoidance and need for safety. Ignore it! :)
Look. Look NOW.

[A Fool Mo More]

I'm still here Rohit. I find I have spent much less time looking lately so I'm trying to get the desire, the fire burning.

[Rohit]

Dig deep, make sure you really see the answer to this.

[A Fool Mo More]

I'm still around Rohit, been busy but mostly I need to get the fire burning again. Surely desire has something to do with this. Except for those few cases where someone spontaneously awakens, people who do awaken really desire to be liberated. I will go back through our thread again and look at your questions and once again try to "look".

[Rohit]

There is no effort in this, this isn't some puzzle you have crack.

Another way to think about it is this: Imagine a hundred televisions in the same city playing the same channel. However each of the televisions is different in size, shape, and picture resolution. The source is the same: the broadcasting station. The content is the same: the show that's playing. The size, shape, and picture resolution are unique ways of filtering the show.

The televisions in this case are "individual consciousness." Each conscious being has a unique experience. A unique experience OF the same show: life. But the show cannot run if either the broadcast or the television is missing. The show, which is all there truly is, arises IN RESPONSE to the coming together of two elements.

Now. If you've got that, then move onto the absence of self we're trying to point out.

Within this show there's the sense of there being a self. But as we know, shows aren't real. So what we do on LU is look at the self as it appears in the show and realize that it's PART of the show and not watching, directing, or influencing it. Rather, it happens automatically as the broadcast throws up a show within the unique configuration of the television. It's weird! Check it out.

[A Fool Mo More]

Very good description, I'm checking it out.

[Rohit]

Check out and let me know, is there a self? Is it real? Does it exist?

[A Fool Mo More]

The last 2 nights I have had some time to lie in bed and do some looking. The looking actually felt better for some reason, hopefully that's a good sign. I have noticed the thoughts coming and going all on their own. I am not there unless I attach to one of the thoughts. I have thought about Santa Claus, unicorn and see that they are just thoughts, not real. Then I think of myself and consider that "I" am not real either. I like visualizing life as a show and just observing "me" in it. I continue to look and hopefully I will become clear on this, or liberated.

[Rohit]

The assumption of 'self' is used in a very specific way - this 'self' is assumed to be the 'thing' to which life happens, and the 'thing' that is pulling the strings. A actual 'thing' - the brain assumes in ignorance that there is actually a 'thing' called 'me'.

MY body
MY thoughts
MY emotions
MY feelings
MY ....

Its this MY 'thing' that we're aiming for. What is the MY that owns the body? What is the MY that owns the thoughts? What is the MY that owns the emotions and feelings?

When you look for it, you recognize that it simply does not exist. When you look at the place where the brain assumes a 'self' to exist and try to find that 'thing' called 'me' that is apart from thoughts and emotions, you simply find nothing. So simple, the brain can't believe it and wants something more complicated.

[A Fool Mo More]

I had another night for looking due to hours of no sleep. I tried looking for who is claiming ownership of these thoughts, feelings, sensations. Of course there was no "me" to be found. I'm sure it is so simple and obvious that I'm overlooking it. I also have to fight the temptation to expect something to "happen". I suppose it is more of an "understanding" than something that "happens". From all I have read awakening never is what seekers expect it to be like. I keep expecting an "oh, now I get it, it's been here all along".

[Rohit]

Focus on the absence of an experiencer behind the experience.

What you call I doesn't exist and it never existed. It was nothing more than an unchecked assumption for the cause of the experiencing of the life that is. That division, like all mind made divisions however, are not real.

The I which you assume experiences life as the experiencer is not separate from the life that it is experiencing.
The I which you assume sees life as the seer is not separate from the life that it is seeing.
The I which you assume thinks about life as the thinker is not separate from the life that it is thinking about.

The "I" never existed. There is only reality, there is only life.




Enlightenment is one thing and one thing only. All other things are experiences.

Enlightenment is the recognition that there is no you that is separate.

This one recognition allows for complete acceptance, complete integration, complete non-judgement, complete non-resistance, and complete non-attachment. This one recognition is the cessation of sin, of delusion, of error.

Enlightenment is recognising that there is no you.

[A Fool Mo More]

Hi Rohit, I'm still around trying to find a little quiet time to look. It's been stressful lately so it sure would help if I could just see that there is no me to be stressed. I'll stay in touch, haven't given up yet.