Yes, I have not told anyone IRL about this, not family, not anyone, dont see the need to at the moment.What I was trying to say was that the belief in a me is there only with these memories and thoughts. They are not a self, but only seem to point to one. Even saying I am nothing is not true. I see that I am not but language is not the right tool for this. Where I thought I was I am not nor anywhere else when I look.Ok, I just want to clarify this a bit. You say there is no me, apart from memory. So, are you your memories?
Can you answer your own question, "what am I without these referentials?" are you nothing? Or does "you" just not exist, there is a subtle difference? Can you explain how, even after seeing no-self, selfishness, resentments and judgements can still arise?
I guess the resentment towards my ex is still there as part of the whole drama. I have to say that there is a feeling here that I need to prove that I have `got it'. All I know is that where I thought I was I am no more. I see this emptiness instead and everything feels lighter. Everything, thougthts, feelings, resentments are happening but not around a center.
I also sat in bed last night investigating and saw that when i saw that was not, she was not either!! She was only there when I appeared to be there.
This is all quite strange. There is a sense of wanting to be silent about this..
I am pretty sure you have seen that no self is true, and are through the gate, just waiting on confirms.
Can you answer how it is possible, if you have seen that no self is true, that the resentment of your girlfriend is still there, still able to surface, still able to affect , although possibly to a lesser extent than before? If there is no self, how can all the resentment have an effect on your behaviour, and how can it arise at all?
