Baba's Introduction

[Baba]

Om,
Hello,

Since I was a child, I felt a deep desire, a yearning for inner contentment and happiness. As a kid of 2-3 years old, I saw my pet dog die in front of my face which led me to question myself and the purpose of life. As I felt the immense pain and suffering in my family and the people surrounding, I prayed for the wellfare of all beings and practiced some breathing exercises which nobody had taught me.

All through my life, since being a kid, through teen years and early 20's, before starting daily meditation, I experienced momentary shifts of consciousness. This took place several times a week, sometimes a few times per day. In my usual awareness there was subject and objects, me and others, things, emotions and so on but when this shift took place, all the labels, mes, yous, things... everything disappeared. Right after snapping back into my usual state of awareness, I thought I was going crazy. It was the arising fear from subconscious which pulled me back from the complete state. It was many years later, after having practiced yogic meditation for years full time that I came to understand that the "shift" was a dip into, what is referred to as nirvikalpa samadhi, a complete immersion, lacking nothing.

At 23, I joined a course, Introduction to Zen Buddhism, and that was it. The moment I stepped inside the hallway of the local zen center, in Helsinki, Finland, I knew and felt that finally after years and years of unaware seeking had found a method and a way how I could find what I was looking for. Since that first day, I began to meditate hours and hours everyday. I had lots of previous experience of hard training through martial arts, so I kind of knew how to go about it. I sat and sat by myself... Joined a couple of weeknlong retreats in Sweden and sometime later managed to travel to Japan and receive further training in a monastery there, with a worldknown Japanese Zen master. I stayed in Jp for one year and then came back to my native Finland.

Sometime after returning, I came into nervous/spiritual breakdown because I only knew how to concentrate and not relax. That is why my nerves got too heated up. It was a wake up call that I should make some radical changes in my spiritual practices. It was something I didn't want to do but had no other choice.

A few months later I met Hugging Saint Amma. And again 2 months later, in 2006, I received my first initiation and learned Kriya Yoga in the tradition of Swami Sriyukteswar, Paramahamsa Hariharananda and Prajnanananda. The first time I practiced Kriya, at the initiation seminar in Germany, and experienced paravastha - a state beyond impulsive states of consciousness - I knew that this was to be my path. I dived fully into practicing Kriya, full time, hours and hours each day. I was loaded with love and bliss. Usually after each of the 3-4 daily Kriya Yoga-sessions, I had to lie down on the floor, just to be able to walk and sober up after being so heavily drunk on divine bliss.

In 2007, I had my first contact with my gurudevi who was an American lady, a very experienced mystic and a fully God-realized yogi. She taught me many things and I received several initiations from her until she left her body in late 2010. She also authorized me as an acharya of Kriya Yoga in her and mine lineage, going back to Mahavatar Babaji and especially to Siddha Thirumoolar who is the root master in this line.

In 2011, after a rough year of going through a divorce and financial difficulties, I lived by myself with my two lovely cats. Still, I meditated and practiced a lot of Kriya Yoga each day. I had read of self-inquiry many times throughout the years but I never practiced it as it is formally taught by Sri Ramana and his descendants. Somewhere, in some classic text of spirituality, I had read that self inquiry is natural and that when a seeker becomes ripe, then he or she naturally comes to ask this question. Certainly, in essence this was the question I needed an answer for even as a small child. When the pain and fire after the painful divorce subsided, on one afternoon, while meditating, I called to my root guru for his help, I couldn't live any longer without knowing my real self. All through years, I had tasted sweet bliss, love and silence in meditation, even in lower samadhi, but still the sense of "I" was stubbornly hangin there. That afternoon, as I sat there, I called upon my master. It lifted the root kundalini from the root center in the lower torso right to the heavens high, above my head and then descended into the heart area. It had never went up high like that, so easily, so freely and when it came down, it didn't go down to the root but remainded at the heart. In this happening, the nagging sense of "I" simple vanished. In Zen they say, "dropping through the body and mind", that is exactly how it felt. I knew, that I had arrived. From this point on there has been no "I" who used to become afraid, be uncertain and so on... just clarity and perfect freedom. Up until that point, for several years, I had worked as a teacher of Kriya Yoga but I didn't wasnt't allowed to give initiation, transmit spiritual power, or shaktipat, as it is called but then the most senior sister-disciple of my late guru authorized me to do that too. Awakening to the true self is a requirement in my lineage for the teacher to be allowed to pass initiations. I continue my work as a Kriya Yoga teacher in different cities in Finland, teach courses and conduct retreats.

Now, I live in Helsinki city area with my two lovely cats and a spouse who also practices Kriya Yoga. I'm happy, things go along well.

A friend of mine, who is a member of LU, hinted me about it. I took a look and decided to apply for membership. Nice to meet you all :)

Much Love,
- Baba

[jeffdilbeck]

Hello Baba,

I am Jeff, and I am greeting you here at LU.

:)
We do most of our work on facebook. What is your interest in coming here? Do you have a facebook account?

I have a few questions to ask you, and there may be more, or I will turn the thread over to other guides for confirmation or possibly more questions.

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail.

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?

6) When you say "I", what are you referring to?

7) Is there an experiencer experiencing, or is there only experience?
Does experience belong to the body, or does the body belong to experience?

8 ) What did you experience at the moment you awoke?

9) Describe your experience in the hours and days following awakening.

[Baba]

quote="jeffdilbeck
>Hello Baba,
I am Jeff, and I am greeting you here at LU.

- Hi Jeff :)

>We do most of our work on facebook. What is your interest in coming here? Do you have a facebook account?

- This seems to be an interesting, practical and beneficial way of sharing with people as well as crashing the gateless gate. Yes, I'm on FB.

>I have a few questions to ask you, and there may be more, or I will turn the thread over to other guides for confirmation or possibly more questions.
1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

- "Me" or "I" as an independent entity, nope, never was, a misbelief, a misconception.

>2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

- Illusion of the separate self means that one has a mistaken perception of me as a separate entity. Most people and the whole culture are trapped in this sense of the false "I" and its treacherous descendants, so I suppose it develops soon after being born into this physical body and its surroundings.

>3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail.

- Do you refer to the previous question here? If yes, I'd say it is very unfortunate, a big misunderstanding which creates a lot of disharmony of many kinds in many fields of life.

>4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.

- Well, a person might think that he or she is able to walk freely and enjoy life but taking a simple look within will instantly tell that there is a stone in the shoe which creates constant trouble and stress. I think one practical way of going about it would be to suggest a person to take a look within and have a sense of the space in between two thoughts, see the space, the screen, behind the workings of the mind which are connected to the sense of "me". Then, the most direct way would be to inquire and see what this "me" or "I" really is and not stop until coming to know what it really is.

>5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?

- I'd say the last bit was desperation, I couldn't live longer without knowing my true identity, the identity beyond gross description. Yes, a specific moment. I sat in meditation, felt this upsurge of having to get it and not postpone it any longer, prayed to my root guru and like I told, this lifted the kundalini energy up to the sky and down to the heart. After, this the stone in the shoe wasn't there anymore and the walking has been unobstructed. I knew I had arrived and that the search was over.

>6) When you say "I", what are you referring to?

- By "I" I mean the false sense of "me", the mistaken notion as the separate entity.

>7) Is there an experiencer experiencing, or is there only experience?
Does experience belong to the body, or does the body belong to experience?

- Only experience. Body belongs to an experience.

>8 ) What did you experience at the moment you awoke?

- The sense of "I", the experiencer dropped off so to say that "I" expereinced this or that would be incorrect. Just vast clarity and space, purity and britghtness which is me as I am and have always been.

>9) Describe your experience in the hours and days following awakening.

- I had meditated a lot, for 8½ years full time until that point so the change was not that dramatic but a thorough change took place, a shift occurred, for sure. People close to me noticed it. During the 1-2 weeks after the awakening, there were longer than before periods of complete immersions into only consciousness without any trace of conscious or subconscious minds (i.e. nirvikalpa state). Everything became clear and unobstructed, just natural.

I hope my english was good enough for me to understand your questions correctly :)
- Babs

[jeffdilbeck]

Your answers and English were both excellent. :) The way that question 3 is worded is a bit confusing. Let's try it a slightly different way.

"How does it feel to see through the illusion of the separate self"?
Please answer this.

After I receive your reply, I will be posting this thread for confirmation from other guides.

I'm very glad you have come to LU.

[Baba]

>"How does it feel to see through the illusion of the separate self"?

- Like loosing a heavy burden. It is a thorough settling. Settling into what? Just settling without the limited notion of "me" analyzing it. Getting rid of useless extra baggage and becoming to be what one really, already, is.