Smoke and mirrors

[Eileen]

Not much to write today, I still do my best to fit the exercise whenever I can.

With love,

[Anastacia42]

Let's look back at this.

Yes, despite how much I've considered it I cannot make sense of no self, meaning I can't picture it. Whenever I've felt there is no self in the body, there's always been a different self projected, either as thinker or observer. Which would seem to confirm that thinking can't help me there!

Right thinking won't help at all. There is NOTHING to picture.

Remember , the illusion of self is a sensation of contraction or tightness that is labeled "self." This label is nothing but a thought.

The purpose of ButtChair is to show you that there is only one thing here and no separation.

There is also awareness or consciousness , which many people confuse with a self. Awareness does not go away , but it is not a self.

Is that your confusion?

Earlier you wrote:

there's a feeling of expansion and emptiness all at once, like if the "body" was encompassing everything but was empty at the same time.
That's the kind of shift in perception we're looking for.

Later you asked if you were in the light and thinking you were in the darkness. That's probably true.

If you have already had the shift, I can't keep guiding you to it and expect anything more to happen.

Did you ever watch Pernille Damore's recording on doubt?

https://youtu.be/a_8N331jpA4?si=wHE8KmhO7n9uwLPp

Watch that & then please te-read your whole thread.

Loving,

[Eileen]

Hi Stacy,

Thanks a lot for your message. I've started doing what you asked but I need a bit more time to process it all and answer. I will write tomorrow.

With much gratitude,

[Anastacia42]

That's good.

Loving,

[Eileen]

There is also awareness or consciousness , which many people confuse with a self. Awareness does not go away , but it is not a self.

Is that your confusion?

I don't believe it is. I watched the video "Doubt and the joy of experiencing" again, and one the the first things said is “There’s no identifying with a thought anymore”. Whereas I still identify with thoughts. Or at least thoughts arise saying as much. I'm not sure how to use DE to confirm whether that is true or not?
The fact that "I" don't have control over the body, the actions taken and the decisions made seems quite clear, but even though I know intellectually that there's no control over thoughts, I cannot choose them, cannot stop them, I still identify quite strongly with them. When the body feels foreign, it feels like there is a disincarnated me watching the body live, but it feels like that me IS the thoughts, or the thinker.

Where I get confused is that this is mainly thoughts, just one more story, so how can i know what is true? How can I know where I'm at?

With love,

[Anastacia42]

Remember , the illusion of self is a sensation of contraction or tightness that is labeled "self." This label is nothing but a thought. So Sensation (DE) plus a thought/ label equals illusion of a "self. "

Where I get confused is that this is mainly thoughts, just one more story, so how can i know what is true? How can I know where I'm at?

No thought is true. None. They're all just made up. Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.

We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I." (refers to an exercise I gave before this one)

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Loving,

[Eileen]

I had trouble remembering a big lie to work with so I made up new ones like “The sky is red” “Not eating cake is so easy” and “I’m looking forward to job hunting”.

Each time I could feel warmth and contraction in the upper throat and in the solar plexus. There’s also some warmth felt at the tip of the ears.

If I try “I identify with thoughts” and “I don’t identify with thoughts” however, they both result in contraction and warmth in the throat, and not in the solar plexus.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Yes, I can see that descriptions like “peaceful”, “anxious”, “excited” are all interpretations, not sensations themselves.

With love,