good place

[graceabounds]

Right now the thought came of "I feel very hurt".
That thought just comes occasionally.
The experienced felt more bearable when that thoght was reframed as "hurt is felt"

Very good. Though you could also even drop felt.
Hurt is here, or just… Hurt. And let it ripple and the natural next thing arises, whatever it is.

Go get some ice. Hold a piece in your hand.
which is most accurate:
A. I am holding ice in my hand
B. this is ice
C. COLD

And perhaps, more hearing today… just in between, on the way to something, lying in bed, in the shower. Just normal times. Is there anything beyond what can be heard?

[daisyrain]

Very good. Though you could also even drop felt.
Hurt is here, or just… Hurt. And let it ripple and the natural next thing arises, whatever it is.

A lot of that happens and it really is a bit of a shift in on itself

what feels the most accurate?

It’s not so easy to tell, though it’s as if the cold isn’t even really felt, until the labels are simplified to just „Cold“

[graceabounds]

True. Stripped down it is all just labels on either thoughts or sensations.

What is actually here, beyond labels?

[daisyrain]

I couldn't tell you, but it's a bit like there's a humming in sensation

[daisyrain]

🎵your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know🎵

[graceabounds]

What is the sensation part of the humming? Where is it? Does it have an edge or boundary?

[daisyrain]

I'm so happy, yesterday the whole "move your hand, can you find control" thing has finally really been seen through!
Today there's excitement and worry about losing it (I don't even know what sort of clarity over this I have while typing this out). There are still assumptions of control floating around.

What is the sensation part of the humming? Where is it? Does it have an edge or boundary?

at some point it felt like there's sensation under sensation. or... melting into sensation, feeling it fully.
And that came with a bit of fear. It's felt right now as well. Seeing, if I can "get back to that".

I feel like that is as far as I can go right now

[daisyrain]

Oh, edge or boundary, right.


even those concepts themselves are that humming.
trying to find, what these concepts are pointing to.
thoughts about a boundary can come up.
Great avoidance and unwillingness comes
Rather complex feelings come.
thought: "If I don't push forward, I'm not enough"
something tender is felt,
and a movement to push through this as well. (that movement doesn't feel nice, like a knot in the stomach)

[graceabounds]

thought: "If I don't push forward, I'm not enough"
something tender is felt,
and a movement to push through this as well. (that movement doesn't feel nice, like a knot in the stomach)

So if that thought is a lie, and the stomach contraction is the tell, what is the experience of “there is nowhere to be, nothing but this”?

Can you find control of pushing forward?

[daisyrain]

what is the experience of “there is nowhere to be, nothing but this”?

It's just slightly nice and feels recharging.
Also it feels like some tensions and "not so nice" feelings become more obvious.

oh, I got distracted it seems.

at times it's not like I feel like there's anything to say or add.

without making answering your questions a problem to solve...
uhm...


answering your question: it feels like much "less" and it's a rather clean sensation in a way.

Can you find control of pushing forward?

Not sure if I can find "pushing forward" right now. Or searching for it..
I can't find control of the "wondering" about that here.
Doubt is coming up, weather "I can't find" just comes, because "I'm lazy and don#t really look"
That is felt throughout the body now.
It somewhat occurred, that control isn't "necessary".

and distracted again.
looking for control over typing just felt like a quite intense confrontation for a moment.

[daisyrain]

today there's a lot of sadness persistent here, and it feels like I am trying to negotiate with it, or find the proper way of being with it.
i think in the past this feeling was taken as an unconscious signal, that I must be doing something wrong.

Just trying to let it be here, though that makes some movements obvious that want to "deal with it" or "solve it"

[graceabounds]

Is ‘distracted’ something you could be responsible for? Is there actually a me who is focused or distracted or is something called ‘attention’ just happening, in flow?

If sadness is still present, how is it known in direct experience? Where is it?

[daisyrain]

If sadness is still present, how is it known in direct experience? Where is it?

Right now it’s labeled „depressed“.

I can’t imagine this feeling being neutral.

Sadness is underneath that, in a way.

Depressed is…
It does get more neutral, but I can’t find the thing itself to describe it

is distracted something you could be responsible for?

I find it very hard not to intellectualize. Or be sure that I don’t do it. (Oh, that’s doubt)


It’s entirely involuntary.

[daisyrain]

Something just came.
Not sure why it’s important to me, to have this phrasing. It’s just a story. In a way. So:

I think I’m feeling depressed (instead of just sad), because I‘m living live more ambitious and it feels unsafe and scares me.

Going to the Qi Gong course, moving in some month, picking a job I actually care about.
Organizing to go camping with friends

Non of that feels safe.

(I don’t know about control not being present when I made these decisions, but I also don’t much think about it)

I guess that really trips me up

[graceabounds]

Depressed is…

It does get more neutral, but I can’t find the thing itself to describe it

So it cannot be found in direct experience? How is it known to exist?

I think I’m feeling depressed (instead of just sad), because I‘m living live more ambitious and it feels unsafe and scares me.

What of this remains without an ‘I’ to own it?

Going to the Qi Gong course, moving in some month, picking a job I actually care about.
Organizing to go camping with friends

Non of that feels safe.

Are any of these things actually dangerous right now?
Does fantasizing about it when it isn’t here now make ‘you’ safe?