I want to enjoy life more, to feel lighter and go easier…

[Elad]

Hi Elad,

What reactions come up to the sentence:

"The gateless gate has been crossed (by none), it is clear that there is no separate self responsible and controlling things and never was".

There is no gate to cross. There is no one to cross it. There is just this … which is a mystery and is also apparently a human experience in this body with thoughts and conditions, which seem to come up randomly and arbitrarily.
I can feel mind kind of pulling, wanting me to question what I just wrote, saying it cannot be that simple! And I guess that is what mind will always do.

… AND: Just because there is no separate self, it does mean exercise stops being good for the body, meditation stops being good for the nervous system, study and practice is needed to learn certain new skills...

And the motivation for these can happen by itself with clarity and without drama...

Makes sense?

Yes! I notice that the drama (self judgement, self/other criticism) can surface, and then is seen for what it is, just a thought, sometimes tied to a negative self belief. It feels much less sticky.

Like look today, when you do something genuinely useful or self-nurturing in the conventional sense. Is there a need for self to be there, for the motivation and action to arise?

No, no need for self. It just happens. I have noticed that since I wrote the last response where I talked about lacking motivation, I have actually been doing more quite effortlessly.

There appears to be more ease.

Beautiful!

A question arises here: if there is no self, regardless of whether something is “self-nurturing” or “self-harming”, is there any difference? Is it all the same?
Tash liked the idea of a “self-nurturing” act just arising (like, if mind steps out of the way, the natural tendency will be positive. Is that true? Self-harm is also just happening, without self. Is there any difference here?
I can feel a kind of vertigo in the belly when looking at this, when contemplating that ‘self-nurturing’ and ‘self-harm’ can be seen to be the same thing. They cannot, surely?

From one level of observation they have "one taste" - the taste of mysterious spontaneous nature without self.

On a different level of observation - equally important - they are certainly not the same thing. And it's felt in the heart directly, beyond ideas.

This is what Buddhism calls absolute and relative. In the "absolute level" all the same. But on a relative level everthing matters as it always did, consequences are real, love is real, and this is felt more clearly with less overlaying stories about self, not less so.

Here is a nice quote that express that:

"Although my view is higher than the sky, my attention to the law of cause and effect is as fine as barley flour."

- Padmasambhava

Everything still exists "conventionally" or "on the relative level" of communication, relational attuenement and etc: responsiblity, care, even "a self" in the sense that your thoughts are not mine, etc. And at the "on the absolute level" (direct experience here-now) it is clearly seen that there is no real separate self to be responsible.

Is this clear in direct experience?

You have suggested that I look to the body, to feel what is here. Are there videos explaining more about this?

Let me get back on this, but for now I think this video fits well to where you are at. Tell me how it lands!


https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w?si=aI5UdDoPjSvzDqUr

[Elad]

How are things unfolding and looking Tash?

[Elad]

Hi Grateful, I wonder why I am not hearing from you?

Are you okay?

It doesn't feel so good here, when a guidee with whom there is an investment of attention and care disappears, suddenly stops communicating.

[Grateful1]

Hi Elad,
Apologies for not replying sooner. I hadn't seen your message asking how everything was going and it hasn't felt like there were any changes worth reporting.

The video 'falling' by ilona landed well. Have just been resting here and observing. I have been listening to more of her youtube videos, also (Angelo dillulo and Rupert Spira. They all land well here. It doesn't feel like I'm listening from a place of grasping, just more like a recognition. (although angelo's comments about shadow work do feel pertinent. More below.)

I see that part of me/mind wanted a dramatic experience, where everything exploded and there was a very clear before and after, and part of me was shit scared of that happening. Tash has issues around safety and fear. I can feel those issues softening and the dramas of life here are seen as mind created, and are much less sticky. There is a knowing that everything will work out perfectly, so I guess the 'gradual' unfolding is perfect for this body mind: it's what Tash is comfortable letting fall away right now. I also see that the 'gradual process' is a mind creation: because there cannot be a gradual seeing of what is.

I think I explained at the beginning of this guiding, that I have recently had several significant life changes (death, moving house/country, and other personal stuff which I feel is relevant now). My sense is that a willingness to get really intimate with these 'issues' will help the fear dissolve, but not sure quite how to move forward. I think there is a lot of information in the body which I am not attending to, hence my previous question.
I understand that this issue may not be within the realms of the guiding process. I also understand that just by writing this here, as a message to self which comes from a real desire to open up more, to tease this apart, a shift of some kind is taking place.

Thank you so much for everything,
Tash

[Grateful1]

Dear Elad,
I have just read your second message re not getting in touch.
Sincere apologies once again. I understand what you said. I commit to keeping in touch more frequently.

Many thanks,
Tash

[Elad]

Dear Tash,

Glad to hear from you! Thank you for updating and responding with consideration!

It sounds to me like the core theme of LU has been seen through, and what is happening now is a needed and natural focus on big things happening in your life and on the crucial process of "integrating" the feeling life that was not fully felt and embraced since childhood.

It feels to me like it would be appropriate for you to answer the final LU questions. We can look at them and then after we can talk about the more broad integrative process relating to intense life events and deep "shadow work". How does that sound with you?

[Grateful1]

Dear Elad,
Thank you for your reply.

It sounds to me like the core theme of LU has been seen through

I guess so. But everything feels very 'normal' here... nothing 'special' has happened.

what is happening now is a needed and natural focus on big things happening in your life and on the crucial process of "integrating" the feeling life that was not fully felt and embraced since childhood.

I have noticed an increased sensitivity to my surroundings, to people, physical contact, noise, which I imagine is part of this.

It feels to me like it would be appropriate for you to answer the final LU questions. We can look at them and then after we can talk about the more broad integrative process relating to intense life events and deep "shadow work". How does that sound with you?

Yes, that sounds good.

With gratiude,
Tash

[Elad]

Is it special that there is no Santa Claus or Unicorn? And in a sense the change here is even smaller. When you drop the belief in real Santa you might disengage totally from the story of Santa. But self continue to be a relevant concept and part of relational experience - in the conventional sense you are not me, I am not you, it is still important to know your feelings, wishes and what is going on with you.... Your memories and dreams and plans are still an important part of your life... Human life continues as usual. There is just access to the clear seeing, when looking, that nothing is truly "the separate you" or in "your control", including in the experience of sense of self, and this opens a certain capacity for letting go and letting be and allow what is to be seen, when the awareness is there.

Are you still holding on to the belief that it needs to be special to be clear? Does this need more attending? If yes, lets look at this before going to the following questions. If not...




Please answer all of the following questions in one message and make sure that you copy each question before the answer so it is easy to connect Q's & A's. Look freshly at each one and answer as simple and clear as possible from direct experience. Be 100% true to what is directly experienced and feels true, LOOKING FRESHLY NOW (not the story about a thought-I that sees or doesn't see this or that). Once you have answered them we will talk about how to continue. Discovery, refinement and integration in conventional life continues forever, and we will talk about how to move in the most supportive way with that.




1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?



2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.



3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before we started this dialogue?



4) What was the moment(s) where clarity clicked; describe what happened.



5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control (separately).



6) What makes things happen? How does it work?



7) What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.



8) Anything to add?

[Grateful1]

Hi Elad,

It was helpful to read what you sent.

Mind has been loud these days and believes that ''Tash is having this experience', and she will have to feel special or better or 'clearer' in order for the 'seeing' to be true. I can also sense heaviness in the belly (disappointment) as the words come... Like: "Is this it?" I was expecting fireworks!! (I am chuckling as I write, because I know it's just mind having a little tantrum ;)

Are you still holding on to the belief that it needs to be special to be clear? Does this need more attending?

No, it is clear to me that this sense of the seeing needing to be 'special' is just a belief.

So I will continue with the questions you have sent.

Do you prefer me to send the answers as I work through them, or all together? (It will probably take me a few days)

Thanks,
Tash

[Elad]

Answer all in one.

But before...

This dissapointment and belief in dissapointing Tash and her dissapointing experience...

Could you let it go?
Would you let it go?
When?

Ask these questions *repeatedly* and just see what happens (as you know, no one to control that). Write me what is experienced.

(Same process can be used with other stuck and sticky beliefs and feelings).

[Grateful1]

This dissapointment and belief in dissapointing Tash and her dissapointing experience...

Could you let it go?
Would you let it go?
When?

Ask these questions *repeatedly* and just see what happens (as you know, no one to control that). Write me what is experienced.

Yes, I can let it go.... NOW.

The body relaxes, deep exhale, a sense of lightness and expansion in to this moment.

Thanks,
Tash

[Elad]

🍃🤍