good place

[daisyrain]

I think I feel lost (on this awakening path), because I imagine something other than what is here to be "out there".

[graceabounds]

Yep, that sounds more like the energy of seeking than any sort of being lost…

If there is no one, can there be such a thing as being lost? or being forgotten? or being broken or abandoned?

On the other side of the ownership of these stories… freedom.

They can still arise, broken, fragmented, sad thoughts, but they arise, as they always have, to no one. To another thought.

Is there a you who is broken? Look.

Do you exist outside of the stories?

[daisyrain]

I think I want this too much and it's "skewing the results".

What you wrote there really feels transmissive. at the moment i wouldn't want anything other than to stare holes in your most recent message.
For the moment I want to answer you,
but I would also ask to sit with your most recent questions more. Whatever is is, somethings going on.

[daisyrain]

so, I see how even that comment is full of stories.
Another thing I notice is that (reoccurring) thought coming of "oh god, how am I ever going to explain that to someone?"

Like I have to get everyone to see this. There's an assumption that "it's so important to show this to everyone".
Or maybe that "I need to share this".
(this is really energetically really working trough the body)

[daisyrain]

It very much does feel like "I am experiencing (sitting in a beautiful garden)".
Stories come about how "I am trying to sit with this".
Well, the feeling is welcomed.

Doubt thoughts come in the form of "I should experience seeing like a flat canvas" and stuff like that, it's noticed though.

[graceabounds]

There's an assumption that "it's so important to show this to everyone".
Or maybe that "I need to share this".

Is that too a landing place? Being the one who sees? The one with something special. Sticky.

Flat canvas can come much much later perhaps. Right now just stick with that feeling of being the I who is seeing the garden. How is that known in direct experience?

[daisyrain]

that feeling of being the I who is seeing the garden. How is that known in direct experience?

it's a fuzzy familiar feeling.
I guess even "familiar" is just a story.

"Then what does that leave?"

guess even that is a story.

the "familiar" feeling, right now, sits a lot in the head.
There's something about the "heart", but I do not know the nature of that relation.
intuitively I'd say it's an assumption, that there is a feeling in the heart.

I think there's some "wanting this to mean it's me". huh, what a sentence.

there's a warm (and maybe a bit desparate?) wanting coming up togehter with self thoughts.
As if it says: "wouldn't it be nice, if that were me? me, me, meeee"

Okay, next meeting coming up now

[graceabounds]

Many experience the ‘me’ as being centred in the head.
What I would like you to do is imagine a small apple centred in the head.
Before the apple disappears….
…imagine a canary centred in the head, tweeting away.
Before, the canary flies off (weird huh?)….
…imagine a 'me' centred in the head.
Stay with it…
…imagine it is completely transparent. See straight through it…
…imagine there not seeming to be a 'me' in the head anymore.
Give it a go, see what happens.


And then can work through the same with the heart ‘me’ if those sensations can be pinned down.

[daisyrain]

I like weird :)
ooooh, lots of energetic movement

Give it a go, see what happens.

I don't know what happened. Not nothing.

wait,
fear, shaking.
avoidance.
it feels like even the body "grabs" for something at this point.

work through the same with the heart ‘me’

the body does respond, quite a bit.




Me feeling occurs around the throat, so repeating this.

:((((

body really works a lot.
Uncomfortable to work through this


now it's not so clear where that "me" feeling sits

[graceabounds]

Good. Let the body continue to lead here.

Where is I?

If it isn’t centered where you thought, did it ever exist at all? Take a look.

Is there an owner of this experience or just experience and then some reflexive thoughts arising afterward, owned by no one… ?

[daisyrain]

You know, some stories and assumptions become more clear (and let go, I couldn't even tell you which ones) when staring a hole in your text.
But I don't really have any sort of answer

[daisyrain]

in a way I wish I knew nothing of all this and had no expectations

[daisyrain]

And I hear stories like "I don't know what to answer you".
But if that's a story even, what does that leave me with?
Not much to do.

For split seconds this me thing drops, it seem

[graceabounds]

Can anything be known without thinking about it?
How?

[daisyrain]

Not really.
Even if you could know, it would be gone while trying