On the verge

[Elad]

This is so simple, no big deal, just a first step in a long process of "unwinding"/"de-conditioning", just acknowledging the truth.

[Tirano1996]

Hello Elad,

Apologies been very busy with newborn and toddler.

Sitting right here, looking directly at my body and direct experience, it is undeniable that there is no self behind this experience, just the senses. I see this and feel giddiness, emptiness, excitement, and that’s that. I guess there is an expectation of a permanent shift or breaking the 1st fetter. But for now I am content to acknowledge this truth, which is that there is no self in direct experience, I cannot find it or locate it, no matter how hard I look.

[Elad]

I guess there is an expectation of a permanent shift or breaking the 1st fetter.

What is this expectation based on?

And what is expected will be different when the first fetter has broken and a permanent shift has taken place?

And what is found that shows that it has not taken place - here and now?

[Elad]

How is the process unfolding?

[Tirano1996]

Hi Elad, sorry for lack of response. Life has been very very busy. I’ve been in states of contraction and mind identification. The seeking mechanism has been strong, and I have been shopping online. I spend moments in presence but for the most part I am in this resistance mode and in the thought loops. Overall there is still clarity about the thoughts but I feel very stuck, and it is easy to justify given my chronic lack of sleep and business at home and at work. I am just waiting this out and being patient, it is not a race after all.

[Elad]

Hi Elad, sorry for lack of response. Life has been very very busy. I’ve been in states of contraction and mind identification. The seeking mechanism has been strong, and I have been shopping online. I spend moments in presence but for the most part I am in this resistance mode and in the thought loops. Overall there is still clarity about the thoughts but I feel very stuck, and it is easy to justify given my chronic lack of sleep and business at home and at work. I am just waiting this out and being patient, it is not a race after all.

This all sounds natural and like a wise attitude.

Maybe it will be helpful to do a little more clarifying on the nature of thought. Explore when it fits in your flow, write me observations:

Simple individual thought exercises


1. Can you find an inherent self anywhere, outside of thought?

2. Can thought experience thought? Can thought experience anything?

3. Does thought make any contact with other kinds of sense experience, such as sounds
or sensations – or are they totally separate from each other?

4. For a moment take note of exactly what is being experienced in this moment: 
 Notice all
sound, all sensation, all smell, all taste, all colour. 
 Notice how you're making absolutely no
effort to be aware of them. 
 And notice that you're not making them happen. 
 You're not
conducting the orchestra of experience that you're aware of. 
 And notice that thought is
exactly the same as the rest of experience. 
 You're effortlessly aware of it, but you're not
orchestrating it. You're not even orchestrating the thoughts which say that you're able to
orchestrate thoughts.