I could use some help :)

[Anastacia42]

Good.

I forgot to answer that pain is probably a Sensation, but suffering is interpretation.

Okay. Here is another aspect to check:

Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over?

Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what ​ chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Loving

[foo]

Thanks Stacy!

How is the movement controlled?

It just seems to happen by itself

Does a thought control it?

No

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No

How is the decision made to turn the hand over?

I don't know lol.

Who or what ​ chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Nobody and nothing

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

No

[Anastacia42]

Yes.

How does it FEEL to see this?

Loving

[foo]

How does it FEEL to see this?

Do you mean sensations or emotions?

Sensation wise, there is some loosening of the body. But minor. I have never been very perceptive.

Emotion wise, what I could call relief. No fear, or uncertainty, or confusion.

[Anastacia42]

Sensations

We're looking for a shift in perception.


Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Or this one?
Explore ‘Sense of Self’

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there. You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this SENSE of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by FEELING it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

Loving

[foo]

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

They describe something that is not directly experienced.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Only color and the thought arising.

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

No

However, is an apple actually known?

No

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

I love the insight here.

Does the sense of self have a location?

Kinda feel it is behind the eyes.

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

No

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything? If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

No

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

No

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

Nothing

What is found?

Some vague localized notion of self that has no attributes and cannot be directly experienced.

[Anastacia42]

Some vague localized notion of self that has no attributes and cannot be directly experienced.

Right. And therefore does not exist.

Self is less real than the apple. Can you see that?

If so, how does it FEEL to see that?

Loving

[foo]

Can you see that?

Lol I see that

If so, how does it FEEL to see that?

I laughed. It feels lighter

Please keep pointing, thank you

[Anastacia42]

Good

laughed. It feels lighter

We're looking for a shift in perception just like that.

From an email from Ilona

Nothing dramatic happened.

There were no fireworks.
No permanent bliss states.
No sudden personality changes.

And yet, something shifted.


Here are a few things people said afterwards:

“I’m not fighting my experience anymore. There’s more space around everything.”

“I expected something big to happen. Instead, life feels simpler and I trust myself more.”

“There’s less urgency. The seeking has softened.”


This is the kind of shift this work supports.

Ilona Cuinate


If you can say 100% there's no separate "self" and you are laughing & feeling lighter, what do you want me to point at that you cannot already see?

Loving,

[foo]

If you can say 100% there's no separate "self" and you are laughing & feeling lighter, what do you want me to point at that you cannot already see?

Whenever the thought of the self being less real than the apple arises, "I" smile and chuckle. Something feels different.

But "I" also worry it's temporary, or that maybe it's just 90% or 99% seeing through illusion of no separate "self". Or that "I" am amused at the comparison but no permanent shift occurred.

If you have more exercises, love to do them. Either way though, thank you Stacy.

[Anastacia42]

Are you still seeking?


It will come & go.

Watch these, please:

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4

This is just a beginning.

I could share a few hundred pointers from various sources. Once you've seen, they'll get boring Play with these, if you like.

Be sure to listen to the introduction.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ksba3zhi9uuz ... hsk1a?dl=0

Loving,

[foo]

Are you still seeking?

No :)

[Anastacia42]

We have some traditional checkpoint questions. Please give these a try. Quote and reply to each one.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

[foo]

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No. No.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion solidifies when we are toddlers. It is a mental construct that likely evolved in humans because it helps our survival. Unfortunately it also brings about many problems, most often related to ego, grasping, and resultant suffering. Seeing through the illusion, plus some additional "effort", should result in less of these problems.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Less tension in the body. Less caring about things that truly don't matter. There is more confidence that the illusion is weakened or seen through completely.

Other people's shifts help moderate my expectations. These messages resonate with me.
“I expected something big to happen. Instead, life feels simpler and I trust myself more.”
“There’s less urgency. The seeking has softened.”

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It started with the exercise listing "I am sitting" vs just "sitting". Recognizing that the "I am" is a lie that the body can feel. And ended with the "less real than an apple" exercise. Also practicing looking only at direct experience was helpful.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Decision making does not seem to be a conscious process. I cannot find a decision maker, or a decision point, when choosing to move my body. It seems like the mind claims ownership of a decision after a decision has already been arrived at, likely from past conditioning and current inputs. There is no separate self making decisions.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Closely related to decision. A thought about an intention seems to arise after the intention is subconsciously intended. There is no separate self to intend.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Based on decision/intention, I don't believe in free will as commonly understood. There is no separate self to have free will.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

The options available and their selection is likely a subconscious process masquerading as a conscious process. There is no separate self choosing.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

Similar to above. Control is likely an illusion. There is definitely no separate self in control of the surroundings / environment.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

Conditions arise that lead to things happening, and when those conditions pass, things stop happening.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Responsibility is likely a social construct. One way to view responsibilities are as desires. Since I still have desires, I still have responsibilities, even after seeing through the illusion of the self.

6) Anything to add?

How can I show my appreciation for your guidance?

[Anastacia42]

Good answers.

Let's check a couple of things:

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Responsibility is likely a social construct. One way to view responsibilities are as desires. Since I still have desires, I still have responsibilities, even after seeing through the illusion of the self.

Not exactly. Responsibilities are just a thought. Do you really have responsibilities?

6) Anything to add?
How can I show my appreciation for your guidance

If you mean donating, you can do that with PayPal, Zelle. or Venmo. stacy@stacyannclark.com Thank you

Becoming a guide is another way

Loving,