Guide me please

[zerGo]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
From my understanding, there is a "bug" in our perception of the world. We tend to see everything as a separate entity. Something that has a cause in itself (at least partial). But if you think about it, this is not true. Because everything is interdependent, and therefore such an entity does not exist. This includes perception of ourselves.

What are you looking for at LU?
I'm looking for someone who can help me to see my blind spots. I was doing Direct Looking by myself, and came to the point, when if I ask myself, "Does `I` exist?" I answer - "No". But if I ask, "Am I exist?" - I answer "Yes". This feeling of "I am" is quite charged with emotions. And I can believe in such thoughts more than I want to. I will be glad if someone can guide me in this investigation, maybe from the perspective that I missed. Or maybe I just need confirmation that my realisation is valid.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I expect to see the "I" illusion more clearly. For now, I need to repeat for myself - this is just a thought. Most of my expectations are based on the book Liberation Unleashed, where I saw some examples of such conversations. So guided conversation is a dialogue where someone asks questions and the other one answers.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I've been practising meditation for about 15 years. Dozens of one-week retreats. Many other practices as well, many books, many teachings, many satsangs. I found a book about Direct Looking about a month ago, and tried the looking by myself. The book itself has impressed me with how simple everything is and how I did not come to this earlier. The most significant idea from the book is that I can not believe in thoughts. This shifted something in me, and I started feeling myself more freely and lighter. But in the same time, I offent getting lost in my imagination when I'am in conversation with other people, or emotions are overwhelming me.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 9

[Anastacia42]

Good morning,

Welcome & thank you for waiting.

most significant idea from the book is that I can not believe in thoughts. This shifted something in me, and I started feeling myself more freely and lighter. But in the same time, I offent getting lost in my imagination

Yes. that sounds like the shift in perception may have happened.

Follow this introductory material & we will see.

Watch these videos, please.

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4

This is just a beginning.

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

One thing that is helpful is to come to this forum
& post every day. Sometimes the site goes down. It will be back. Just come back later.

Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?


Loving,

[zerGo]

It is a pleasure to meet you, Stacy. You can call me Sergey. I'm in the GMT+3 time zone.
Thank you for being my guide in this journey.
Before answering your questions, I want to warn you that I will be offline from May 03 to
May 08, and will not be able to post here.

How will life change?

Soon after I posted my initial post, I was consumed by my work and totally forgot about my insights and about my expectations. So now, when I'm returning to the exploration, the first thing that comes to my mind in answer to this question is "I do not know". But if I let myself be with the question for some time, I would say: It will be clearer, less chaotic, lighter, broader. 

How will you change?

The most important thing for me is that my identification will change. Or in other words, I'll become less concentrated on my story, my likes and dislikes. I'll become freer.

What will be different?

Hm. Perhaps I will have a distance from my thoughts and ideas so I will not get lost in them. 

What is missing?

What is missing right now? It's hard to tell. It's more like a feeling, a constant urge to do something to become somebody else. Somebody with a higher status or better personality. Basically, it's all about a sense of security and self-realisation. I understand that this is not what comes with awakening, but still, this urge is here.


Thank you, 
Sergey

[Anastacia42]

Hi Sergey

Offline time noted.

Your expectations are pretty reasonable. But don't focus on them. They'll hold you back.

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.


Loving

[zerGo]

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.

Mixed feelings come up: relief and confusion, as if I’ve lost the ground beneath my feet. And the question - so how to be now?

[Anastacia42]

Thank you.

There has always been no self, so it isn't really that different, but we're checking for fear. Let me know if it is a problem.

This is how to LOOK for no self in the exercises - we call them "pointers' - that we will be doing here:

Colored Socks

There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.

Here is an example to illustrate the difference:

If I ask you what color socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:

• You can think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what color you think they are.

• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what color they actually are!

Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.

For the purpose of seeing this "no self" idea, it is very important that you are clear about this difference.

Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that

We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment-to-moment experience. We are only interested in your Direct Experience in the moment..

Direct or Actual Experience is

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content)

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.



Loving,

[zerGo]

Yes, this is clear, thank you for clarification.

Regarding fear. Yes, there is a fear - if I become free from thoughts how then I will be able to do my work? I have this feeling that I’m best at doing something when I am obsessed with an idea, or a project - this what drives me. At the same time this what tortures me. Now when I’m writing this the fear is calming down. It is only a belief that “I can not do it otherwise” that drives me crazy. When I look at it closer I see that it’s not true.
Another fear is to let go “knowledge in the mind”, it seems useful at least.. The fear is articulated as : without knowledge I won’t be able to predict the future and will got troubles. It is also calming down when I articulate it.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. There is already no self and you're doing fine. Your thoughts have never controlled anything and you have never really been able to predict the future. It's not much different than things are now.

There is a Direct Looking process for fear.

https://youtu.be/jKX1llYtlKE?si=jHXuuyyVtp7c-1R2

And this one:

https://youtu.be/fSTT8nc8cvQ?si=Alcukpbi7SUlXpfi

Let me know how you do with those.

Loving

[zerGo]

Hi, Stacy.

The videos are resonating with me. The messages from fear are very insightful. It told me: safety is an illusion, do not trust it, you need to feel fear to be safe. I did not finish the process in a calm state; fear had a lot to say to me, so it returned again and again, at least as a tension. In another message, it asked me to be alert; it said that this is very important. So, for now, fear is really wanting more attention from me. I will continue doing this practice for a while.

Thank you

[Anastacia42]

Good.

Are you clear about how to look as outlined in the colored socks post?



Loving,

[zerGo]

Are you clear about how to look as outlined in the colored socks post?

Yes. I look at sensations.

[Anastacia42]

Continue with the fear videos as much as you need to. Here is your first pointer.


Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please.

Refer to the green list of Actual/Direct Experience in the prior post if that helps. Those are the only items any experience can be.

Loving,

[zerGo]

Hi. Sorry, was not able to login for two days, some technical issues with the site.

Several my experiments:

Seeing green screen, gray buttons. Feeling touch sensation in fingers. Thought comes and goes. Itchy sensation on the back of my head. The thoughts about scratching come up. Breath in, breath out - sensation of belly up and down. "What else" - came a thought. Tension in a forehead. Blackness and sensation of eyes closed. Green screen. Silence. Sound of breathing. Sensation in legs touching each over. Sound of birds from the outside. Thought comes. Tension on the face and neck. Sensation of deep breath. Warm sensation of closed eyes.

Seeing a white plate. Feeling a tension in the forehead. Thought comes up. Tension in a forehead. Seeing a plate, white color, round form. Feeling the surface of iPhone in my hand. Feeling of hips touching the surface of the chair. Hearing sounds of birds singing. Feeling tension in right hand. Feeling fear energy in the chest.

Two additional observations: 1. it’s hard to remember the experiment afterwards, so I tried to write down observation in the process of exercise; 2. I had a lot of thoughts :)

Thank you

[Anastacia42]

Us, the site was down.

Now please re-read the instructions & reply EXACTLY like the example. You inserted a lot of extra thinking. Thinking is the problem. not the solution.

Thank you,

[Anastacia42]

Yes,, the site was down.

Now please re-read the instructions & reply EXACTLY like the example. You inserted a lot of extra thinking. Thinking is the problem. not the solution.

Thank you,