Vince,
though I’ve been pondering your words, and having an occasional chat with your chatbot, I have been extremely busy with numerous jobs so haven’t had occasion to respond. However, this morning I awoke from a troubled sleep to find myself yet again ruminating over the question as to how my life came to this over the last few years, what happened to all my plans and hopes, why me? Upon checking my phone there was an email from Jeds’ legacy website “Jedvaita Bites” this byte was about Nietzsche's saying “amor fati” (love your fate) – Coincidence? I think not!
Oh the irony, don’t know whether to laugh or cry, yet another breadcrumb, one of many. No need for you to respond to this unless you feel it’s necessary.
Amor Fati!
Paul.
Feeling Stuck
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vinceschubert
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Re: Feeling Stuck
hi Paul,
Freeze the moment exactly as it was: —Waking up, —Ruminating, —The ache of “Why me?”, —The burn of lost plans, —Then: “amor fati” landing like a cold slap across the face.
Good. Now go back there.
Not to the story—to the sensation.
When the email hit, what changed in the body?
Did something drop?
Was there heat?
A shift in the chest? Tears behind the eyes?
Was it contraction?
Was it relief?
Was it insult? Feel it again. Right now.
This isn’t about coincidence. It’s about confrontation.
Life threw your question back in your face.
The breadcrumb isn’t pointing you forward. It’s pointing you down—into the present moment.
So stop asking why.
Stop looking for meaning.
Drop it.
Go into the raw edge of that heartbreak.
Find the contraction of “what happened to my life?” ..aAnd feel it without escape, without defense.
Now answer this:
What is actually there before the story?
Before the memory?
What is the physical signature of this loss?
Describe it precisely.
Then tell me—what about that sensation proves there is a “you” at the center of it?
Where is this “Paul” who lost something?
Point to him. In the body. In the moment. Now.
vince
Stop. Don’t laugh. Don’t cry. Don’t interpret.this morning I awoke from a troubled sleep to find myself yet again ruminating over the question as to how my life came to this over the last few years, what happened to all my plans and hopes, why me? Upon checking my phone there was an email from Jeds’ legacy website “Jedvaita Bites” this byte was about Nietzsche's saying “amor fati” (love your fate) – Coincidence? I think not!
Oh the irony, don’t know whether to laugh or cry, yet another breadcrumb, one of many
Freeze the moment exactly as it was: —Waking up, —Ruminating, —The ache of “Why me?”, —The burn of lost plans, —Then: “amor fati” landing like a cold slap across the face.
Good. Now go back there.
Not to the story—to the sensation.
When the email hit, what changed in the body?
Did something drop?
Was there heat?
A shift in the chest? Tears behind the eyes?
Was it contraction?
Was it relief?
Was it insult? Feel it again. Right now.
This isn’t about coincidence. It’s about confrontation.
Life threw your question back in your face.
The breadcrumb isn’t pointing you forward. It’s pointing you down—into the present moment.
So stop asking why.
Stop looking for meaning.
Drop it.
Go into the raw edge of that heartbreak.
Find the contraction of “what happened to my life?” ..aAnd feel it without escape, without defense.
Now answer this:
What is actually there before the story?
Before the memory?
What is the physical signature of this loss?
Describe it precisely.
Then tell me—what about that sensation proves there is a “you” at the center of it?
Where is this “Paul” who lost something?
Point to him. In the body. In the moment. Now.
vince
Re: Feeling Stuck
Hi vince,
Sorry for my absence only with the myriad of problems life has thrown at me recently I’ve felt the need to take a break from this process, though I have been dipping into various books during this time. It was the following quote from David Carse that prompted me to return:
We mistakenly think that the seeking helps,
but it is actually the problem!
It is like quicksand.
The seeking, the desiring,
is the sense of individual self
trying to assert it’s existence
by constantly telling the story.
I can certainly relate to that, with all the problems I’ve faced recently, my experience is that I have no control over what ‘life’ throws at me, but ‘I’ do have a choice in how I deal with them, which entails thinking through various options, selecting the most appropriate course of action and then following through with it, and mostly ‘I’ succeed… Ergo I’m a clever little so and so!
I see various authors and people like yourself pointing at the absence of self, yet I feel the presence of a ‘me’; no I can’t see my-self just a sense of it’s existence.
Paul.
Sorry for my absence only with the myriad of problems life has thrown at me recently I’ve felt the need to take a break from this process, though I have been dipping into various books during this time. It was the following quote from David Carse that prompted me to return:
We mistakenly think that the seeking helps,
but it is actually the problem!
It is like quicksand.
The seeking, the desiring,
is the sense of individual self
trying to assert it’s existence
by constantly telling the story.
I can certainly relate to that, with all the problems I’ve faced recently, my experience is that I have no control over what ‘life’ throws at me, but ‘I’ do have a choice in how I deal with them, which entails thinking through various options, selecting the most appropriate course of action and then following through with it, and mostly ‘I’ succeed… Ergo I’m a clever little so and so!
I see various authors and people like yourself pointing at the absence of self, yet I feel the presence of a ‘me’; no I can’t see my-self just a sense of it’s existence.
Paul.
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