help me find me

[reigntwelfth]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I am a beginner and I honestly have no idea if what i know is right. What I know is I am a part of the whole universe, and I am connected to everything but I cannot grasp that concept as I have been living for a long time thinking otherwise. I am willing to do everything to clear the cloud of thoughts where my real self has been buried a long time.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am a beginner and I would like to learn more. To free myself. To end my suffering that I am causing on myself. I have been reading and listening to bo books and teachers but I feel like I am in dire need of guidance.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I just want to learn. I have been reading books by Michael Singer, Eckhart Tolle and Dr David Hawkins but I am unable to get past my thoughts. Even the basic breathing exercise, my pain body is so strong it could associate it with panic attacks

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have been read and listening to several teachers and that is all. I think I have a quick eureka moment when I started noticing my thoughts. But that’s all.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Lubo]

Hi, welcome to the forum.
My name is Lubo, and I can be your guide, if you are OK?

I am unable to get past my thoughts. Even the basic breathing exercise, my pain body is so strong it could associate it with panic attacks

I hear you. You are not alone in this anymore.
Let's begin with your first nondual investigation.

My job is to give you a pointer on where and what to look. Your job is to look and report what you find.
Here we go:
Look inside you where the pain body and thoughts appear.
Look there and notice, is there someone else instead of you?"

Love,
Lubo

[reigntwelfth]

Hi Lubo,

Apologies for not replying.

Right now, the pain body is dormant. But it was so strong last week when the physical form was injured, neck and back injury.

I am trying to recall where I felt it, i felt it in my stomach, and my back. It was so strong to the point it was able to associate breathing exercise as danger, therefore every time I did breathing exercise, it becomes a panic attack. It takes a couple of minutes of breathing exercise before my panic attacks subsides. It takes a lot to be able to calm my body.

There was this one point, that the breathing exercise worked, I felt a strong emotion coming up on my cheat and I was able not to stop it, just let it flow, afterwards I felt a cool hole like sensation near the middle of my chest on the right side.

How can I make my awareness stronger so that my painbody will have no chance of taking over? I have been releasing little by little old painbody but I am also not certain if I am doing it right.

Thank you for replying and for accepting to be my guide. Not being alone in this journey means a lot as even the people closest to me do not understand.

[Lubo]

Thank you for the reply!

Not being alone in this journey means a lot as even the people closest to me do not understand.

I am so glad you are sharing this. Not being alone on this journey means a lot, especially when the people closest to you cannot understand. You can rest here, I am with you.



Let's walk together:

There was this one point, that the breathing exercise worked, I felt a strong emotion coming up on my cheat and I was able not to stop it, just let it flow, afterwards I felt a cool hole like sensation near the middle of my chest on the right side.

Yes, exactly! Remember how as children we enjoyed roller coasters? This energy of fear, excitement, and adrenaline is so alive and vital. What you describe is exactly that feeling—a "jump from the cliff," so juicy and full of life.

I am trying to recall where I felt it, i felt it in my stomach, and my back. It was so strong to the point it was able to associate breathing exercise as danger, therefore every time I did breathing exercise, it becomes a panic attack.

You have a very accurate observation. We are a vast, empty space, and we are having the experience of being a human with a body, a nervous system, and a mind. They are designed to have the exact experience of being human. We cannot change this, but we can enjoy how the mind, body, and nervous system react to certain experiences. Just as we enjoyed those reactions as children at Disneyland.

The human system fixes itself. The system needs to experience what needs to be experienced. The system self-adjusts through crying, sweating, and shaking. Just allow it to do what it is already doing. There is no need to call it a "panic attack," but rather a "self-adjustment of the system." It is not wrong or dangerous; it is how the system becomes healthy again.

Without identifying with the process, just as when we start a car's engine, we just feel how the car starts shaking and the noise appears. We are not that.

There is one excellent way to allow the human system to adjust: "Authentic movement" with eyes closed in bed for 25 minutes. Enjoy and "allow" the body to self-adjust. Enjoy the process; this is not your doing. This is just your "car." In-car-nation.
What is to find that you are not You- human experience?

Much love,
Lubo

[Lubo]

Hi,
Are you with me?

We are investigating what is here.
The easiest way is to share your current experience, how do you feel now?
Let's start from here.

The name of the forum is Liberation Unleashed.
What is not liberated at your own Direct experience?

So much love,
Lubo